OT : If you're a man and choose....

[August_West]

But no B. S. If this is some kind of joke, then tell me now.

I mean I don't crave it but it would be nice if the cat wasn't such a dick to me.

How hard do I have to work for it?

 

[freescooter]

My daughter had two cats. She moved and only could keep one. My wife (without my consent) agreed to take one.

I'm now stuck with a cat who follows me around everywhere, ignoring my wife. Went away for several days she peed on the bed.

Can't walk the cat, can't talk to it, can't take it outside, can't teach it to do anything, can't pick it up (without getting clawed), and worst of all it wakes us up in the morning meowing like hell (at 5am!).

Cats are great for the cities and other places that may have mice, other than that what the hell are they good for?

Like your wife needs your consent for ANYTHING.LOL!!!

 

[Chin Diesel]

I'd spend a little less time worrying about your wife's hamster and a bit more on your shoe game.

Lol. I've been looking for a replacement for those sandals for almost a year. They're probably close to 10 years old. Haven't found anything I like yet. They're great for the summer though.

 

[Deepster]

Look at that little rubbing its butt all over your bed. You're gonna dream of dog bungholes tonight.

Good luck Febrezing your nightmares.

PS - Get your shoes off the bed. It has enough problems.

You sorta joke about it, but back when the Deepster family had a dog, if he didn't get his anal expressed regularly, he'd leak brown anal fluid on the couch, bed, rug, etc.

I remember one time the vet telling me that I could do that to the dog and save myself the vet visit but I declined.

 

[Mr. Wonderful]

I mean I don't crave it but it would be nice if the cat wasn't such a dick to me.

How hard do I have to work for it?

If you have to ask...

It requires patience and a good deal of self control, traits I don't really associate with you based on your posting history here.

 

[CL82]

My dog (Husky/Pit Bull mix) found an abandoned kitten while we were on a walk. She raised it like it was her puppy, and now they are great companions when I'm away from home.

Also, I toilet trained the cat. No cleaning a poop box for me! Don't hate.

 

[Northbound]

Cats can be wonderful companions if you know how to bond with them. That's the key - knowing what it takes to bridge that gap.

I've raised cats and dogs my whole life, been able to develop tight bonds with both feline and canine, and it's true that they are very different. One thing they have in common, though, is that once you earn their trust, they will both give you all the unconditional love you can handle.

In every case of guys I know unoquivacably claiming cats suck, it's because they take the bull in the china shop approach to bonding. Gregarious and aggressive. That works with dogs, who have been conditioned by evolution to seek alpha approval. It will never work with cats, who are conditioned by evolution to be solitary and independent.

If you are indeed serious about wanting to bond, I can tell you how to do it. But no B. S. If this is some kind of joke, then tell me now.

Who knew that Jackson Galaxy was a UCONN fan and posted in The Boneyard.

 

[Mr. French]

I can't possibly respond to every anti-cat post here, so I'm inviting all oncomers to hit me with some FACTS, come back and see me, and we'll talk on it.

I'm sorry @walker11, I've left you high and dry for 4 pages.

Edit: @Mr. Wonderful as well.

Dogs are awesome, and was my first pet ... But I bet I won't ever go without a cat the rest of my time on Earf.

 

[CL82]

My brother's GF dumped him and moved out,... now I take care of her. She is awesome. The only annoying part all she wants is to be outside. She is 17 and can not handle the outdoors on her own. Now, to avoid her incessantly whining while standing in front of the sliding glass door, I am guilted into hanging out with her on a super long leash for hours on end in the backyard. Granted, reading/doing computer work poolside isn't bad. I hope she gets her fix this summer before it gets cold.

You, sir, are a monster.

 

[Waquoit]

You sorta joke about it, but back when the Deepster family had a dog, if he didn't get his anal expressed regularly, he'd leak brown anal fluid on the couch, bed, rug, etc.

That's why cats are amazing. From the very first day I brought home the kitten (offspring of a stray) she was pooping in the litter box. The only time she didn't go in the box (because I hadn't scooped in way too long), she pooped in the bucket of clean cat litter. I guess I didn't snap the lid shut.

 

[Dream Jobbed 2.0]

My cat Dublin is the cutest and a better dog than 60% of dogs I know. Most importantly he provides an energy outlet for cattle dog Kardiac Kemba.

 

[Doginaus]

How Cats really think

Dog to owner: “Throw the stick…roof, roof! Throw the stick…roof! I’m ready…throw the stick…roof! Did you throw it yet?! Where’s the stick? I’ll chase it down and bring it back, I promise! Throw the stick…roof! Pleeease!!”

Cat to dog: “Idiot! What are you doing? Don’t you get it, they’re only human, quit playing the fool!”

Dog to cat: “Huh?”

Cat to dog: “Watch how I do it. Now, take note...first, you gotta let them know who’s the boss!”

Cat to owner: “If you throw that stick, you know I’m not going to get it so you might as well not waste my time. And, quit treating that dog like he’s an idiot, though…, never mind!”

 

[Doheny]

Dated several women who owned cats. Do not like like having one land on my back during an amorous romp.

 

[Fishy]

You sorta joke about it, but back when the Deepster family had a dog, if he didn't get his anal expressed regularly, he'd leak brown anal fluid on the couch, bed, rug, etc.

I remember one time the vet telling me that I could do that to the dog and save myself the vet visit but I declined.

I am absolutely not joking.

 

[Huskies4ever]

Cats are fine. Mine kicks ass. And he loves us like a dog that gives you some space sometime.View attachment 22858

Thanks for repin' Walgreens.

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

How Cats really think

Dog to owner: “Throw the stick…roof, roof! Throw the stick…roof! I’m ready…throw the stick…roof! Did you throw it yet?! Where’s the stick? I’ll chase it down and bring it back, I promise! Throw the stick…roof! Pleeease!!”

Cat to dog: “Idiot! What are you doing? Don’t you get it, they’re only human, quit playing the fool!”

Dog to cat: “Huh?”

Cat to dog: “Watch how I do it. Now, take note...first, you gotta let them know who’s the boss!”

Cat to owner: “If you throw that stick, you know I’m not going to get it so you might as well not waste my time. And, quit treating that dog like he’s an idiot, though…, never mind!”

There's a point in cat discussions when I start wondering if I've been missing something. Then there's a post like this, and I can honestly say that if this is a selling point, the value proposition just isn't there for me. Further, it falsely frames my reality that both the dog and I are enjoying ourselves and each other when playing fetch.

 

[nomar]

I am absolutely not joking.

You made this same kind of comment when I got the dog two years ago, and I gotta tell both of you, he hasn't leaked crap anywhere. He's gotten "expressed" a couple times by the vet, no problem.

Sounds like Fishy's an animal-hating germophobe and Deepster bought a crappy dog.

 

[August_West]

Fishy's an animal-hating germophobe and Deepster bought a crappy dog.

New boneyard masthead

 

[Waquoit]

Deepster bought a crappy dog.

Literally

 

[TRest]

Literally

I was wondering what type of defective doggy needs its sphincter squeezed?

 

[Sky ball]

Your wife/daughter chose poorly.

The wife chose but the daughter was enslaved at birth.

 

[Deepster]

You made this same kind of comment when I got the dog two years ago, and I gotta tell both of you, he hasn't leaked crap anywhere. He's gotten "expressed" a couple times by the vet, no problem.

Sounds like Fishy's an animal-hating germophobe and Deepster bought a crappy dog.

It was a pug. And let's be clear. Deepster didn't buy it. The former Mrs Deepster bought it. And "won" it in the divorce proceedings.

 

[RichZ]

We have an elderly, spinster neighbor who lives alone, except for a half dozen cats that she insist aren't hers. She feeds them, lets them have the run of her house, and sometimes sits in her window petting one. But they're not hers. Right. Obviously, if cats don't cause crazy, they recognize it and are attracted to it.

One of her cats has decided that our flower garden is its litterbox. Balloons filled with vinegar are effective at keeping it away for a day or two, but who has the time to sit on the porch with a vinegar balloon, waiting for it. Or a super soaker full of vinegar.

Now the crazy lady was hospitalized a few weeks back, and she's temporarily in an old age home. The cats still live here. Some guy stops by once a day to feed them. He says she's coming home soon. So I probably shouldn't kill them, huh?

 

[Deepster]

We have an elderly, spinster neighbor who lives alone, except for a half dozen cats that she insist aren't hers. She feeds them, lets them have the run of her house, and sometimes sits in her window petting one. But they're not hers. Right. Obviously, if cats don't cause crazy, they recognize it and are attracted to it.

One of her cats has decided that our flower garden is its litterbox. Balloons filled with vinegar are effective at keeping it away for a day or two, but who has the time to sit on the porch with a vinegar balloon, waiting for it. Or a super soaker full of vinegar.

Now the crazy lady was hospitalized a few weeks back, and she's temporarily in an old age home. The cats still live here. Some guy stops by once a day to feed them. He says she's coming home soon. So I probably shouldn't kill them, huh?

Can of tuna with antifreeze will solve your garden problems.

 

[Waquoit]

Cats are great.View attachment 22903

Can of tuna with antifreeze will solve your garden problems.

not funny, guys