OT : If you're a man and choose.... | Page 4 | The Boneyard

OT : If you're a man and choose....

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Compromise. Get a dog the size of a cat.

Last year Mrs. Chin worked a deal with soon to be teenage daughter that a year of straight A's equals a dog.

They conspired to get a Pomashitpo. You read that right. A Pomeranian, Shitzu, Poodle mutt
It was 2 lbs at 10 weeks. 18 months later it's a ripped 4.5 lbs.

That's a size 11 shoe.

I warned the Mrs. that our daughter would tire of it after a few months and she would take over as mom. I was spot on. Our daughter gives it cursory acknowledgement while Mrs. Chin has taken primary custody.

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PAHusky said:
I've always thought that if a dog were human sized it would just want to play with you still. If a cat were human sized it would just murder you. Cats are plotters.

The only thing cats have going for them is that they're miniature versions of lions/tigers/etc.
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There are a lot of hysterical posts in this thread, but this one tops them all.

You are right. The thing I like about cats is they're generally at the very top of their relative size food chain at almost every level, and even if domesticated house cats get eaten by larger predators, the attacker will likely have some very nasty reminders of the encounter for some considerable length of time afterward.
 
Chin Diesel said:
Compromise. Get a dog the size of a cat.

Last year Mrs. Chin worked a deal with soon to be teenage daughter that a year of straight A's equals a dog.

They conspired to get a Pomashitpo. You read that right. A Pomeranian, Shitzu, Poodle mutt
It was 2 lbs at 10 weeks. 18 months later it's a ripped 4.5 lbs.

That's a size 11 shoe.

I warned the Mrs. that our daughter would tire of it after a few months and she would take over as mom. I was spot on. Our daughter gives it cursory acknowledgement while Mrs. Chin has taken primary custody.

View attachment 22876
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I'd spend a little less time worrying about your wife's hamster and a bit more on your shoe game. :)
 
Mano said:
I suppose the blood spray from countless throat punched humans is preferable?
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That stuff is called blood spatter. Didn't watching endless hours of the Phil Spector murder trials teach us anything?
 
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Thirty Three said:
It's just unnatural for grown men to want cats. It's one thing if you have a family, but single straight men who own cats are just creepy. Usually either serial killers or rapists.:eek:

Oh yea, and no one should own an animal that craps in a box in their house anyway.
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Just the opposite. Single straight men who have cats are well adjusted and comfortable with their own masculinity. They don't need a big, snarling dog to prove how macho they are.

And you don't own a cat...the cat owns you.
 
August_West said:
..... To own a cat, what is wrong with you?

Let's discuss.


Full disclosure. My wife got my daughter a kitten a couple years ago, much to my protestations. I relented because I have soft spot for my daughter. But I was right. The thing sucks; hard. 2 years of feeding that thing and it still runs like hell when I enter the room like I'm grim death. No value here.
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It is so moving that you have a soft spot for your daughter. That father of the year award can not be far behind.
 
intlzncster said:
Get one of these. Claim it's your gig dog. FYI might have to surreptitiously bury the cat at some point tho

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No. These are the last animals I will ever have . I've had dogs from when I was four years old to what will eventually be 52 or so when this one goes. The daughter will be out of house and in that light my wife and I want to travel more. That's not fair to a dog. Screw the cat, it won't care. Probably be happier with us gone.
 
Cats can be wonderful companions if you know how to bond with them. That's the key - knowing what it takes to bridge that gap.

I've raised cats and dogs my whole life, been able to develop tight bonds with both feline and canine, and it's true that they are very different. One thing they have in common, though, is that once you earn their trust, they will both give you all the unconditional love you can handle.

In every case of guys I know unoquivacably claiming cats suck, it's because they take the bull in the china shop approach to bonding. Gregarious and aggressive. That works with dogs, who have been conditioned by evolution to seek alpha approval. It will never work with cats, who are conditioned by evolution to be solitary and independent.

If you are indeed serious about wanting to bond, I can tell you how to do it. But no B. S. If this is some kind of joke, then tell me now.
 
Kitaman said:
My daughter had two cats. She moved and only could keep one. My wife (without my consent) agreed to take one.

I'm now stuck with a cat who follows me around everywhere, ignoring my wife. Went away for several days she peed on the bed.

Can't walk the cat, can't talk to it, can't take it outside, can't teach it to do anything, can't pick it up (without getting clawed), and worst of all it wakes us up in the morning meowing like hell (at 5am!).

Cats are great for the cities and other places that may have mice, other than that what the hell are they good for?
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Like your wife needs your consent for ANYTHING.LOL!!!
 
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formerlurker said:
I'd spend a little less time worrying about your wife's hamster and a bit more on your shoe game. :)
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Lol. I've been looking for a replacement for those sandals for almost a year. They're probably close to 10 years old. Haven't found anything I like yet. They're great for the summer though.
 
Fishy said:
Look at that little rubbing its butt all over your bed. You're gonna dream of dog bungholes tonight.

Good luck Febrezing your nightmares.

PS - Get your shoes off the bed. It has enough problems.
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You sorta joke about it, but back when the Deepster family had a dog, if he didn't get his anal expressed regularly, he'd leak brown anal fluid on the couch, bed, rug, etc.

I remember one time the vet telling me that I could do that to the dog and save myself the vet visit but I declined.
 
HawkHusky said:
My dog (Husky/Pit Bull mix) found an abandoned kitten while we were on a walk. She raised it like it was her puppy, and now they are great companions when I'm away from home.

Also, I toilet trained the cat. No cleaning a poop box for me! Don't hate.
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Mr. Wonderful said:
Cats can be wonderful companions if you know how to bond with them. That's the key - knowing what it takes to bridge that gap.

I've raised cats and dogs my whole life, been able to develop tight bonds with both feline and canine, and it's true that they are very different. One thing they have in common, though, is that once you earn their trust, they will both give you all the unconditional love you can handle.

In every case of guys I know unoquivacably claiming cats suck, it's because they take the bull in the china shop approach to bonding. Gregarious and aggressive. That works with dogs, who have been conditioned by evolution to seek alpha approval. It will never work with cats, who are conditioned by evolution to be solitary and independent.

If you are indeed serious about wanting to bond, I can tell you how to do it. But no B. S. If this is some kind of joke, then tell me now.
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Who knew that Jackson Galaxy was a UCONN fan and posted in The Boneyard.
 
I can't possibly respond to every anti-cat post here, so I'm inviting all oncomers to hit me with some FACTS, come back and see me, and we'll talk on it.

I'm sorry @walker11, I've left you high and dry for 4 pages.

Edit: @Mr. Wonderful as well.

Dogs are awesome, and was my first pet ... But I bet I won't ever go without a cat the rest of my time on Earf.
 
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walker11 said:
My brother's GF dumped him and moved out,... now I take care of her. She is awesome. The only annoying part all she wants is to be outside. She is 17 and can not handle the outdoors on her own. Now, to avoid her incessantly whining while standing in front of the sliding glass door, I am guilted into hanging out with her on a super long leash for hours on end in the backyard. Granted, reading/doing computer work poolside isn't bad. I hope she gets her fix this summer before it gets cold.
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You, sir, are a monster.
 
Deepster said:
You sorta joke about it, but back when the Deepster family had a dog, if he didn't get his anal expressed regularly, he'd leak brown anal fluid on the couch, bed, rug, etc.
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That's why cats are amazing. From the very first day I brought home the kitten (offspring of a stray) she was pooping in the litter box. The only time she didn't go in the box (because I hadn't scooped in way too long), she pooped in the bucket of clean cat litter. I guess I didn't snap the lid shut.
 
How Cats really think

Dog to owner: “Throw the stick…roof, roof! Throw the stick…roof! I’m ready…throw the stick…roof! Did you throw it yet?! Where’s the stick? I’ll chase it down and bring it back, I promise! Throw the stick…roof! Pleeease!!”

Cat to dog: “Idiot! What are you doing? Don’t you get it, they’re only human, quit playing the fool!”

Dog to cat: “Huh?”

Cat to dog: “Watch how I do it. Now, take note...first, you gotta let them know who’s the boss!”

Cat to owner: “If you throw that stick, you know I’m not going to get it so you might as well not waste my time. And, quit treating that dog like he’s an idiot, though…, never mind!”
 
Dated several women who owned cats. Do not like like having one land on my back during an amorous romp.
 
Deepster said:
You sorta joke about it, but back when the Deepster family had a dog, if he didn't get his anal expressed regularly, he'd leak brown anal fluid on the couch, bed, rug, etc.

I remember one time the vet telling me that I could do that to the dog and save myself the vet visit but I declined.
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I am absolutely not joking.
 
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Doginaus said:
How Cats really think

Dog to owner: “Throw the stick…roof, roof! Throw the stick…roof! I’m ready…throw the stick…roof! Did you throw it yet?! Where’s the stick? I’ll chase it down and bring it back, I promise! Throw the stick…roof! Pleeease!!”

Cat to dog: “Idiot! What are you doing? Don’t you get it, they’re only human, quit playing the fool!”

Dog to cat: “Huh?”

Cat to dog: “Watch how I do it. Now, take note...first, you gotta let them know who’s the boss!”

Cat to owner: “If you throw that stick, you know I’m not going to get it so you might as well not waste my time. And, quit treating that dog like he’s an idiot, though…, never mind!”
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There's a point in cat discussions when I start wondering if I've been missing something. Then there's a post like this, and I can honestly say that if this is a selling point, the value proposition just isn't there for me. Further, it falsely frames my reality that both the dog and I are enjoying ourselves and each other when playing fetch.
 
Fishy said:
I am absolutely not joking.
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You made this same kind of comment when I got the dog two years ago, and I gotta tell both of you, he hasn't leaked crap anywhere. He's gotten "expressed" a couple times by the vet, no problem.

Sounds like Fishy's an animal-hating germophobe and Deepster bought a crappy dog.
 
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