OT : If you're a man and choose....

[intlzncster]

In 2 years im going to be stuck in a house alone. with only a cat and a wife who both hate me. ( Well my wife only hates me most of the time, cat is a full time hater )

Yeah maybe. You got any advice how to remedy that?

Get one of these. Claim it's your gig dog. FYI might have to surreptitiously bury the cat at some point tho

 

[superjohn]

I don't understand why anyone would willingly invite an animal to live in their house. There are cat people and there are dog people and despite their differences, they're exactly alike in that they live in some degree of animal filth.

No matter what you say about how clean your cat or dog is, it is an animal and it rubs its butt on everything you own. And when it's not rubbing its butt on your stuff, it is looking for stuff to throw up on.

All of you have couches or beds that have animal upchuck particles mixed with animal butt particles on it and that is gross.

Every time you turn a door handle you're rubbing your hand in fecal matter, you then touch your face with that fecal laden hand. Your toothbrush is full of fecal dust and you willingly put that fecal laden device in your mouth every morning and night. Fishy, you're disgusting.

 

[superjohn]

That's all true, and yet, having a pet is an awesome experience. My dog is cool as h3ll now that he's not a puppy anymore.

Kids are annoying and gross too, but people still keeping having them.

Kids and dogs are far more disgusting than cats. Kids always have runny noses, cr@p their pants every day, pick their nose and eat it, vomit all the time and basically always make their parents sick. Dogs are always licking their own balls and have a predilection to eating their own feces. Cats on the other hand are constantly grooming themselves and they are true gentleman when it's bathroom time, they dig a hole and cover up their business when they are finished.

 

[nomar]

Kids and dogs are far more disgusting than cats. Kids always have runny noses, cr@p their pants every day, pick their nose and eat it, vomit all the time and basically always make their parents sick. Dogs are always licking their own balls and have a predilection to eating their own feces. Cats on the other hand are constantly grooming themselves and they are true gentleman when it's bathroom time, they dig a hole and cover up their business when they are finished.

Counterpoint: dogs are cool and cats are total dicks.

 

[8893]

I'm pretty sure we got our cat around the same time I first met you, @August_West , but I'm not sure if you know how that story ended because we fell out of touch for several years thereafter.

You may recall that my then-girlfriend, now-Mrs. 8893 came home with a cat from the shelter one day, insisting that she needed company while I was at work (she was waitressing and going to nursing school). I grunted and insisted I didn't like cats, and this one was no exception.

A few months later the cat stopped eating and she brought it to the New Haven Veterinary Hospital to get it checked out. I soon learned that it was like the Johns Hopkins of animal hospitals, as I was paying through the nose for overnight care, barium swallows, GI series and other diagnostic tests. $600 and two days later they tell us that she has several feet of nylon string from our remnant carpet in her intestine, and that she will require $600 more in surgery to remove it. I argued against the surgery, pointing out that we could save a lot of cats for that money, that we barely knew this cat, and that it wasn't like a dog. That last one lost me the argument (even though I was right), and I soon realized that I could save $600 but lose a girlfriend (and a cat).

So, we saved the cat's life and she proceeded to be an absolute bitch, ignoring or biting everyone, including Mrs. 8893, EXCEPT ME. And, she lived more than 20 more years. It was hysterical. She would only come to me, climb up on my chest, sleep and purr. Otherwise she was just as miserable to everyone else as every other cat. And I have to admit that I kind of dug that.

But I like our dogs better.

 

[JSM1970]

Can you add some 0000sss......

I'll give you $20 to stop being a contrarian goofball.

 

[nomar]

Can you add some 0000sss.

Sure $20.0000000. Deal?

 

[Waquoit]

Any animal that you can leave alone for a week with enough food/water and the garage door cracked open is not for me. Especially when they look pissed when you actually come back. I go to the mailbox and my dogs act like I've been gone for a month when I walk back in.

I think it's funny how my cat gives me the cold shoulder after a week or so away. She comes around soon enough. I guess I don't need the constant validation that comes with owning a dumb dog.

 

[B1GEast]

I don't like cats, they rub me the wrong way.

When I'm around animals, I'm the boss, even if it ain't mine.

Cat's are total biatches, total.

The artist who turned his dead cat into a drone is building a helicopter out of a cow

Chinese man caught with 500 imprisoned cats destined for restaurants

 

[Huskyforlife]

Both of my cats were/are great. Our dog was a huge part of my childhood growing up. You can't go wrong with either.

 

[shizzle787]

Cats are fine. Mine kicks ass. And he loves us like a dog that gives you some space sometime. View attachment 22858

That water is no longer purified.

 

[Robertelamin]

Shizzle, are humans animals like dogs and cats? And fish?

 

[shizzle787]

Shizzle, are humans animals like dogs and cats? And fish?

Are we going down this path again?

 

[UConnNick]

I'm afraid to even get into this, but quite frankly, if you've had a cat for 2 years and it hates you, that's a you problem.

I love cats. I like Arby's too.

You have to bond with a cat. It can take a lot of time and patience, and they instinctively know if your heart is not in it. Truer words were never spoken than the line from Bobby DeNiro's character in the movie "Meet the Parents". In reference to his future son-in-laws preference for dogs, he said:

"So Greg, you prefer an emotionally shallow animal? The difference between dogs and cats is you have to work for a cat's affection."

Regardless of what any of these endless studies conclude about which species is smarter, the simple fact that makes cats smarter than dogs is they don't eat their own excrement. Dogs do.

And despite how much anybody thinks their dogs and cats are loyal to them, the only real reason they are is because you provide them with food. Somebody down the block providing them with food will instantly become their new best friend.

 

[UConnNick]

You just made me realize something . My dog is about to turn 11. Hes got 2 years left maybe . My daughter about to be a junior in high school. She's going to college. The cat probably has a good 16 years left.

In 2 years im going to be stuck in a house alone. with only a cat and a wife who both hate me. ( Well my wife only hates me most of the time, cat is a full time hater )

You need to bond with the cat.

 

[formerlurker]

 

[Chin Diesel]

Compromise. Get a dog the size of a cat.

Last year Mrs. Chin worked a deal with soon to be teenage daughter that a year of straight A's equals a dog.

They conspired to get a Pomashitpo. You read that right. A Pomeranian, Shitzu, Poodle mutt
It was 2 lbs at 10 weeks. 18 months later it's a ripped 4.5 lbs.

That's a size 11 shoe.

I warned the Mrs. that our daughter would tire of it after a few months and she would take over as mom. I was spot on. Our daughter gives it cursory acknowledgement while Mrs. Chin has taken primary custody.

 

[UConnNick]

I've always thought that if a dog were human sized it would just want to play with you still. If a cat were human sized it would just murder you. Cats are plotters.

The only thing cats have going for them is that they're miniature versions of lions/tigers/etc.

There are a lot of hysterical posts in this thread, but this one tops them all.

You are right. The thing I like about cats is they're generally at the very top of their relative size food chain at almost every level, and even if domesticated house cats get eaten by larger predators, the attacker will likely have some very nasty reminders of the encounter for some considerable length of time afterward.

 

[formerlurker]

Compromise. Get a dog the size of a cat.

Last year Mrs. Chin worked a deal with soon to be teenage daughter that a year of straight A's equals a dog.

They conspired to get a Pomashitpo. You read that right. A Pomeranian, Shitzu, Poodle mutt
It was 2 lbs at 10 weeks. 18 months later it's a ripped 4.5 lbs.

That's a size 11 shoe.

I warned the Mrs. that our daughter would tire of it after a few months and she would take over as mom. I was spot on. Our daughter gives it cursory acknowledgement while Mrs. Chin has taken primary custody.

View attachment 22876

I'd spend a little less time worrying about your wife's hamster and a bit more on your shoe game.

 

[Fishy]

View attachment 22876

Look at that little rubbing its butt all over your bed. You're gonna dream of dog bungholes tonight.

Good luck Febrezing your nightmares.

PS - Get your shoes off the bed. It has enough problems.

 

[UConnNick]

I suppose the blood spray from countless throat punched humans is preferable?

That stuff is called blood spatter. Didn't watching endless hours of the Phil Spector murder trials teach us anything?

 

[UConnNick]

It's just unnatural for grown men to want cats. It's one thing if you have a family, but single straight men who own cats are just creepy. Usually either serial killers or rapists.

Oh yea, and no one should own an animal that craps in a box in their house anyway.

Just the opposite. Single straight men who have cats are well adjusted and comfortable with their own masculinity. They don't need a big, snarling dog to prove how macho they are.

And you don't own a cat...the cat owns you.

 

[David 76]

..... To own a cat, what is wrong with you?

Let's discuss.


Full disclosure. My wife got my daughter a kitten a couple years ago, much to my protestations. I relented because I have soft spot for my daughter. But I was right. The thing sucks; hard. 2 years of feeding that thing and it still runs like hell when I enter the room like I'm grim death. No value here.

It is so moving that you have a soft spot for your daughter. That father of the year award can not be far behind.

 

[August_West]

Get one of these. Claim it's your gig dog. FYI might have to surreptitiously bury the cat at some point tho

No. These are the last animals I will ever have . I've had dogs from when I was four years old to what will eventually be 52 or so when this one goes. The daughter will be out of house and in that light my wife and I want to travel more. That's not fair to a dog. Screw the cat, it won't care. Probably be happier with us gone.

 

[Mr. Wonderful]

Cats can be wonderful companions if you know how to bond with them. That's the key - knowing what it takes to bridge that gap.

I've raised cats and dogs my whole life, been able to develop tight bonds with both feline and canine, and it's true that they are very different. One thing they have in common, though, is that once you earn their trust, they will both give you all the unconditional love you can handle.

In every case of guys I know unoquivacably claiming cats suck, it's because they take the bull in the china shop approach to bonding. Gregarious and aggressive. That works with dogs, who have been conditioned by evolution to seek alpha approval. It will never work with cats, who are conditioned by evolution to be solitary and independent.

If you are indeed serious about wanting to bond, I can tell you how to do it. But no B. S. If this is some kind of joke, then tell me now.