OT : If you're a man and choose....

[Sky ball]

Your wife/daughter chose poorly.

The wife chose but the daughter was enslaved at birth.

 

[Deepster]

You made this same kind of comment when I got the dog two years ago, and I gotta tell both of you, he hasn't leaked crap anywhere. He's gotten "expressed" a couple times by the vet, no problem.

Sounds like Fishy's an animal-hating germophobe and Deepster bought a crappy dog.

It was a pug. And let's be clear. Deepster didn't buy it. The former Mrs Deepster bought it. And "won" it in the divorce proceedings.

 

[RichZ]

We have an elderly, spinster neighbor who lives alone, except for a half dozen cats that she insist aren't hers. She feeds them, lets them have the run of her house, and sometimes sits in her window petting one. But they're not hers. Right. Obviously, if cats don't cause crazy, they recognize it and are attracted to it.

One of her cats has decided that our flower garden is its litterbox. Balloons filled with vinegar are effective at keeping it away for a day or two, but who has the time to sit on the porch with a vinegar balloon, waiting for it. Or a super soaker full of vinegar.

Now the crazy lady was hospitalized a few weeks back, and she's temporarily in an old age home. The cats still live here. Some guy stops by once a day to feed them. He says she's coming home soon. So I probably shouldn't kill them, huh?

 

[Deepster]

We have an elderly, spinster neighbor who lives alone, except for a half dozen cats that she insist aren't hers. She feeds them, lets them have the run of her house, and sometimes sits in her window petting one. But they're not hers. Right. Obviously, if cats don't cause crazy, they recognize it and are attracted to it.

One of her cats has decided that our flower garden is its litterbox. Balloons filled with vinegar are effective at keeping it away for a day or two, but who has the time to sit on the porch with a vinegar balloon, waiting for it. Or a super soaker full of vinegar.

Now the crazy lady was hospitalized a few weeks back, and she's temporarily in an old age home. The cats still live here. Some guy stops by once a day to feed them. He says she's coming home soon. So I probably shouldn't kill them, huh?

Can of tuna with antifreeze will solve your garden problems.

 

[Waquoit]

Cats are great.View attachment 22903

Can of tuna with antifreeze will solve your garden problems.

not funny, guys

 

[Fishy]

You made this same kind of comment when I got the dog two years ago, and I gotta tell both of you, he hasn't leaked crap anywhere. He's gotten "expressed" a couple times by the vet, no problem.

Sounds like Fishy's an animal-hating germophobe and Deepster bought a crappy dog.

Do not delude yourself into thinking that the animal is not filling your house with filth just because nothing has shot out of its butt hole yet.

I don't hate animals.

Dogs are fine. I understand why people like dogs even if I can't get my mind around allowing them on the furniture. My mother has a nice little dog and it's been a great companion for her - so much so that I will feel awful when the time comes to thrown the little beast into the river if anything happens to my mother.

Cats are a ridiculous pet, though. They don't like people. People who think cats like people are people who are kidding themselves.

 

[temery]

Pepe'

 

[August_West]

Pepe'

View attachment 22909

Thats a real cute kitten. They are adorable like that.

And then in a few months you have a cat that is most likely going to be a dick to you.

 

[Mr. French]

Do not delude yourself into thinking that the animal is not filling your house with filth just because nothing has shot out of its butt hole yet.

I don't hate animals.

Dogs are fine. I understand why people like dogs even if I can't get my mind around allowing them on the furniture. My mother has a nice little dog and it's been a great companion for her - so much so that I will feel awful when the time comes to thrown the little beast into the river if anything happens to my mother.

Cats are a ridiculous pet, though. They don't like people. People who think cats like people are people who are kidding themselves.

Meh, I'm in the crowd that says people who don't like cats and can't figure a way to bond with them are vomitous, unintelligent, vile specimens who are tiptoe the sociopathic spectrum.

 

[8893]

Thats a real cute kitten. They are adorable like that.

And then in a few months you have a cat that is most likely going to be a dick to you.

Don't kid yourself. That kitten is already a dick. Guarantee it has already bitten him several times.

 

[pepband99]

Dogs: Awesome.

Cats:

 

[Huskyforlife]

My cat is chilling with me @August_West

I have a mini dog that craps in a box in our basement. He isn't needy, but likes attention. Super easy for someone to take care of when we go on vacation. He runs to the door when he hears the garage(I wasn't kidding about the dog comparison). The few times we had a mouse, he found it. There's seriously nothing not to like, assuming your cat is not a dick.

 

[nomar]

Do not delude yourself into thinking that the animal is not filling your house with filth just because nothing has shot out of its butt hole yet.

I don't hate animals.

Dogs are fine. I understand why people like dogs even if I can't get my mind around allowing them on the furniture. My mother has a nice little dog and it's been a great companion for her - so much so that I will feel awful when the time comes to thrown the little beast into the river if anything happens to my mother.

Cats are a ridiculous pet, though. They don't like people. People who think cats like people are people who are kidding themselves.

I bet you liked the show Monk

 

[temery]

Dogs: Awesome.

Cats:

Awesome clip.

 

[Waquoit]

Awesome clip.

That clip is funny as hell. It's also 20 years old.

 

[Northbound]

That clip is funny as hell. It's also 20 years old.

It's an all time classic.

 

[Waquoit]

It's an all time classic.

Still don't know why someone didn't get the gdamn catchpole

 

[CL82]

The best part is the woman who comes over to help is also terrified of Pinky. She must rule that shelter with an iron fist. Kind of reminds me of that Bill Mummy twilight zone episode.

 

[uconn_jack]

not funny, guys
View attachment 22908

Sorry, it is funny. It may be perverse, but that free cat pic makes me laugh no matter how many times I see it.

And I actually do own a cat, and he is awesome, sociable, and affectionate even to strangers. I even like him more than our dogs sometimes.

But in general, cats are .

 

[uconn_jack]

Cats are a ridiculous pet, though. They don't like people. People who think cats like people are people who are kidding themselves.

Any cat would hunt, kill, and eat their owners if they were big enough.

 

[uconn_jack]

Dogs: Awesome.

Cats:

So that's what fishing for cats would be like.

That's awesome, almost as funny as the free cat pic.

 

[uconn_jack]

I will say however that small, stupid, yappy "dogs" are almost worse than cats.

 

[Bezzz]

I love my cats, but I read somewhere that if you die alone with your cats, after a few days they will eat you. I live in fear of this, and I am not kidding. I have a plan that when the big heart attack comes I'm moving outside to the parking lot...if I can make it.

 

[fatlucy]

I mean I don't crave it but it would be nice if the cat wasn't such a dick to me.

How hard do I have to work for it?

Cats are like dogs when it comes to food. Temp it with treats and THIS (it really works): When a cat greets another cat or a person with slow, languid blinks, it's communicating affection. Why? Because in the feline world, closing one's eyes in the presence of another is the ultimate sign of trust. By blinking slowly at your cat, you are communicating that you are aware of its presence and pose no threat.

 

[8893]

Because in the feline world, closing one's eyes in the presence of another is the ultimate sign of trust. By blinking slowly at your cat, you are communicating that you are aware of its presence and pose no threat.

And next thing you know, it's clawing your eyes out.

 

[Dove]

My favorite activity with my dog was enjoying the outdoors and I sure as hell can't go hiking with my cat.

Sure you can. You have a long leash. Now try it.

 

[Waquoit]

I love my cats, but I read somewhere that if you die alone with your cats, after a few days they will eat you. I live in fear of this, and I am not kidding. I have a plan that when the big heart attack comes I'm moving outside to the parking lot...if I can make it.

Why would you care? You're dead. Better cat food than worm food I always say.

 

[Fishy]

Meh, I'm in the crowd that says people who don't like cats and can't figure a way to bond with them are vomitous, unintelligent, vile specimens who are tiptoe the sociopathic spectrum.

My question would be to ask what hole in your soul are you trying to patch with a barely-domesticated animal that forgets you exist every time you leave its sight?

 

[Dove]

I don't understand why anyone would willingly invite an animal to live in their house. There are cat people and there are dog people and despite their differences, they're exactly alike in that they live in some degree of animal filth.

No matter what you say about how clean your cat or dog is, it is an animal and it rubs its butt on everything you own. And when it's not rubbing its butt on your stuff, it is looking for stuff to throw up on.

All of you have couches or beds that have animal upchuck particles mixed with animal butt particles on it and that is gross.

You've never held a puppy, have you? Or smelled puppy breath.

 

[8893]

Why would you care? You're dead. Better cat food than worm food I always say.

"I want tuna, I want liver, I want Waquoit please deliver!"