As an observer from afar I see in this thread two main camps - Emotional feeling for bench players vs Experienced Geno followers who accept reality (Geno's reality.) Old school, hard nosed decision making vs concern about individuals mental health is another way to look at it. I understand both sides, however, many posters have clearly stated that Geno knows what's best. I have to agree with that sentiment.
Motivation of players is an understated skill. Carrot or stick? Positive or Negative? Geno is the stick and CD, with the upperclass players, are the comforters.
Why is Geno different than any other coach? The man has an Iron Will when it comes to demanding a certain level of behavior/play. Look around WBB and you will see almost 100% of other coaches --they let the players play the style they brought from high school. Other posters have mentioned this. The girl from Texas A&M could step in and continue her HS style of shoot and play a little D. Geno refuses to back off when a player is not developing a minimum of skills. He does not care if she is #1 or # 4. Pheese did not play much as a frosh in big games.
Someone mentioned steel on steel. IMHO Geno puts stress on the situations and the players to see how they react. Do they learn and grow or do they wilt? If they wilt under his practice stress and other created situations then they will probably wilt in a big game moment. Very, very few coaches can hold every player to that standard. Geno has that in his bone marrow. And I believe CD does too. They know what "Championship Level" looks like. In November or December Geno states "the team is not there yet." Where? Championship Level! He knows what it looks like.
He is so hard nosed (read his upbringing to understand) that he takes the chance of losing the player. His confidence level and success rate is so high he feels good about the style. Since Geno and CD hand pick the few players that completely fill the UConn standards, they know the rate of success is very high.
As we all know, Geno is coaching for Championships. The day to day feelings of bench players are not the driving force, not even a little bit. The other coaches and players fill that bill.
For me personally, as a player and coach, I understand about playing time and positive motivation. I, like many others, would not have the Iron Will to keep pushing and using the entire Geno style. He is different. And it WORKS.
Just my humble opinion.