Come on now. An AD from one school needs (optional?) to ask permission from AD at another school in order to contact and speak with a coach employed at their school.
If an assistant coach is moving on (after a supposed bonus is paid from current school), I'm surprised current school allows it (they can't be clueless, otherwise as in Baylor's "current" asst. coaches' situation, an announcement would have been made by now that they were being retained by new head coach); maybe they have no choice as they would need to terminate current coach if they didn't want to pay a specified bonus (which I guess is not all that much in the first place), and that opens up other required payouts.
"Cake and eating it, too" refers to asst. coach moving on to new job, but wanting to stay at current school just long enough for a few extra bucks; new school should be able to add that amount as a signing bonus if coach was that set on not losing that retention bonus.