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I am actually in an argument about this with a friend. She thinks that the "White man" has oppressed the "black man" and used the word to put them down, and now they are reclaiming the word for themselves and therefore can use it whenever. I disagree... if one group of people cannot use the word then no group of people can use the word. Had it been a white guy who said this there would have been a riot. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson would be leading the cause. But because it was the other way around there is no harm no foul? The rules need to be the same for everyone.
Your use of the word 'can' is problematic to me. There's freedom of speech, so obviously everyone CAN use the word, it just says something about them if they do. and it says something much worse if its a non-black person saying it. I will say that if black people want the term to be lost and forgotten, black people definitely SHOULD stop saying it or at least greatly reduce the use, stop using it so much in rap music, because obviously white people like rap music, and its awkward at a rap show hearing throngs of white people cheering the N word as a song lyric.
I think its perfectly fine for a person of any color to say that people should stop saying the word, but don't use can/can't, because thats a bit much. Reducing the overall use of the word should cut down on the ignorant old whities saying "well if theyre gonna say it, then I can say it!", which is completely ridiculous