overly-involved parents (especially Dad)

[HuskyNan]

One thing I have noticed about kids' sports these days - they are far more involved than they were when I was growing up.

My daughter is on a swim team.

There are four practice nights every week - they run from 7:30 to 9. There are meets every weekend and they run from Friday night through Sunday afternoon. Warm ups on the weekend meet days start at 7:15 am and the meets run through about 5:30 pm in the afternoon.

My daughter is nine and has what I consider to be a healthy amount of homework every night. There is no way we're going to make her spend three or four nights a week swimming and every weekend at a swim meet. She practices once or twice a week and we take her to every second or third meet. And even then, we generally only go to one of the three days. (The meets are not close - an hour each way.)

But I'm amazed that the majority of the people in the swim club have their kids at almost every event - none of their kids have any real ability, so it's not as if the hours in the pool are producing Olympians.

I suspect these sports have actually become the parents' social lives and the kids are kind of along for the ride.

I dunno, Fishy. Marching band practices Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays during the season with performances at the football home games after the Friday practice and a competition Saturday evening/night. Saturdays go from 7am (sectional breakfast) until 11 or 12 at night. The kids don't necessarily love the practices but, corny as it sounds, they love each other and love spending time together. I think it's a social group for them and we parents get sucked into it.

BTW, all the hard work paid off. The band was New England Champion and came in 4th at Nationals. The bonus was that the busy schedule forced him to be more organized especially since the rule is that he can be in the band only if his grades don't suffer.

My other kid goes to robotics every single day during build season(6 weeks). He's also on the archery team. Somehow he does all that, takes AP courses and still has a A average. And he loves it all.

The moral of the story - do what you love.

 

[Fishy]

My other kid goes to robotics every single day during build season(6 weeks). He's also on the archery team. Somehow he does all that, takes AP courses and still has a A average. And he loves it all.

The moral of the story - do what you love.

But he's not nine years old.

Once you're in high school, it's basically a given that a sport or activity will be five or six days a week.

 

[Tonyc]

For me my when my daughter was younger she played BB and Softball. We took a ride up to UConn as my oldest daughter was looking at colleges. My youngest asked as we were escorted around campus "wheres Gampel?" The escort said up ahead. When we got there Shea walked by and my daughter said quick mom give me a pen and paper. She ran up to Shea to get an autograph. Shea invited us into practice. We sat quietly in the front row watching. There was a huge basket under the rim that all the shots fell into and passed them back to the player. Diana was shooting and I lost count after 30 shots. Geno was holding practice and my daughter ran out on the court in the middle of practice (10 years old) and walked up to Geno and asked him if he had gotten her letters. Moments later the Valley twins and Ashly Battle were playing two on two with her. Geno called them all into a huddle and my daughter went with Morgan Valley. She yelled over to us "hey dad you can go now Im staying with the team. You can pick me up on Monday." Geno looked over and smiled then she scootted back over to us and we thanked him. On the way home she asked me what she would have to do to play for UConn. I said the first thing you need to do is dribble two basketballs at once. When we got home she practiced for days and then one afternoon called me out and said Dad watch this. She walked around the circle dribbling 2 basketballs at once. I said that terrific honey, then she said watch Dad and she was running and never missed a beat. A few months later we sent her to UConns BB camp. Diana was her coach and made her the starting point guard. She never grew (5'3 100 pounds) so we stuck to Softball and IMO the UConn experience is what made her a great softball pitcher and a great person.

On another note. When she played softball and we tried out for travel teams. I knew if I knew more then the coach she wasnt playing for him. I wanted someone who could develop her and her attitude was an attitude of you cant work me hard enough. She practiced 11 months a year and took August off. I had her a pitching coach and a hitting coach both of who she played for and both loved her because of her work ethic. Today shes 23 working at a prominet company with the same drive and skills she learned as a kid. I couldnt be more proud. Yeah mom had alot to do with it with her and her sisters. I miss those days alot. Great memories.

 

[ursusminor]

What's great about that story, Tony, is that although your daughter worked very, very hard, the drive and the motivation came from within. There's a huge difference between your daughter, who went out there and practiced until she could dribble two basketballs at once, and the kids who put in just as many hours only because their parents want them to.
Sounds like you have reason to be proud.

 

[huskyblooz]

This is my 24th year of coaching basketball (17 years of AAU) and I have some doozies! Unfortunately, my editor says I cant say anything.
He also wants me to cut back on a 1000+ pages book on parents involvement in sports.

I'm also a parent of three children who are involved in sports. I dont coach them (I dont have the patience for my own).
My wife and I have never complained to a coach. Never. We dont instruct them except to say 'hustle'.
Most of the coaches love them, not because they are talented, but they are coachable.
They play many sports, though we are hoping for 'academic' scholarships, if you know what I mean.
I work the chains in football, because its on the away side, and I dont have to hear our parents complain every play.
We sit in the outfield away from the trouble makers. Soccer may be the worst.
My wife and I go all the games we can make and keep our mouths shut. Do we agree with everything? God no.
But as long as they are happy, we are.