overly-involved parents (especially Dad)

[DaddyChoc]

I hear that phrase and I cring... a parent that wants the best for their child, want to know whats going on doesnt sound like a bad thing to me.

since the scholarship are renewed every year cant the coach just not renew if he/she thinks the parents are trouble?

I think its a fan-cop out excuse when a player doesnt go to "your school".

yeah I know the player shouldnt be coached from 2 ends but geesh... parents arent just going to sit and be quiet during the recruiting process.

parents encouraging their daughter to be the "head honcho" shouldnt be accepted but the parents should be very involved.

 

[HuskyNan]

IIRC, Mr. M demanded his daughter be named a starter, something neither Geno nor Pat were initially willing to do. Later Tenn's guard situation changed, Ariel was the best one available in her recruiting class and they needed her. Hence the "point guard of the future" announcement.

 

[Icebear]

Believe that is right, Nan.

 

[Ozzie Nelson]

In 4 years of being a Division 1 Player’s Dad, I never went beyond chit chat with coach. I advised off the field as best as I could, and my son and I agreed that part of his life maturity and experience was for him to handle his own situations. Indeed, in my experience I found that almost all parents are just supportive, having fun and enjoying the ride, while worrying on a daily basis as to whether their son or daughter can handle the considerable stress of being a student-athlete.

 

[DaddyChoc]

Oz what about the recruiting process... was you told about playing time or did you ask?

 

[MilfordHusky]

I think parents should be involved, but a parent who demands things like PT guarantees--rather than opportunities--or who tells his/her kid where to attend is going too far in my view.

 

[SallyH]

Or the parents who insist the kid enroll in their choice of schools - see Brittany (I can't remember her last name, whose father insisted she go to Duke).

 

[Ozzie Nelson]

Oz what about the recruiting process... was you told about playing time or did you ask?

Choco…I never asked...totally inappropriate IMO. And….my son would have been humiliated if I did so, I know that. He did start as a Freshman, but he earned it.

One coach said he would move a player off his position, so my son could start, if a scholarship offer was accepted. We did not trust him after that, and did not matriculate at his University.

 

[Ozzie Nelson]

Or the parents who insist the kid enroll in their choice of schools - see Brittany (I can't remember her last name, whose father insisted she go to Duke).

Hunter...well, choice of Universities is a proper topic for families...the issue is how it is handled/communicated. I was very clear that I preferred The Ivy League, en expensive decision on my part, as both my sons could have gone gratis where I was a
Professor.

 

[iri10]

In any case, we've got an even more concrete example of what can happen when a parent is a little bit too pushy and opinionated after the athlete is supposed to be under the "care" of the coach.

See: Oriakhi, Alex

Hard for an athlete and team to thrive when some players have two head "coaches."

 

[KnightBridgeAZ]

Over the years we had a number of parents at Rutgers who could be a little vocal in the stands - anyone who watched WBB for a number of years knows about Mel Campbell, for instance. Cameras would focus in. Some of the folks supposedly "coached" their daughters in a not so good way, but I don't have any evidence - I do know a few bad-mouthed Vivian for not playing their daughter enought, etc. A few probably led their daughters to transfer.

OTH - an awful lot of parents were great - supportive of their daughter and the team. A few that were local even came at times after their daughter graduated!!

That's why coaches get the big bucks.

 

[meyers7]

I hear that phrase and I cring... a parent that wants the best for their child, want to know whats going on doesnt sound like a bad thing to me.

Well you have to look at the phase. "overly" involved parent. A parent who wants the best for their child, and wants to know what's going on isn't an "overly" involved parent.

 

[Man-Man]

Or the parents who insist the kid enroll in their choice of schools - see Brittany (I can't remember her last name, whose father insisted she go to Duke).

Do you mean Whitney?

 

[JS]

IIRC, Mr. M demanded his daughter be named a starter, something neither Geno nor Pat were initially willing to do. Later Tenn's guard situation changed, Ariel was the best one available in her recruiting class and they needed her. Hence the "point guard of the future" announcement.

Well, I'll say how it went down as viewed from where I sat.

Some of us heard by the grapevine very promptly (and to our surprise) that the visit hadn't gone well and that the father's demands for guarantees were the reason. This was disappointing, as AM was obviously talented and we'd been hearing for some time how she was "all about UConn."

Subsequently it was reported -- at least on the Summitt and IIRC elsewhere, that AM called PHS and offered to commit, but was told that TN was headed in a "different direction." Prominent Summitteers with good coaching staff sources said at the time that AM had "a daddy problem."

But after a really good summer for AM, and perhaps compelled by the thought that TN had needed but not been able to recruit a top point guard since the Dark Ages, PHS changed her mind. Offer made and accepted, and PHS took the unusual step of anointing AM a starter in advance.

We've lately been treated to some revisionist history in the form of what now seems to be the gospel according to the Summitt. In this tale, the ill-fated UConn visit went bad because Geno wanted AM but demanded an immediate yes or no (unflattering to UConn) but AM balked because she was hoping for TN (flattering to TN).

In support of this gospel, it's been offered that, since AM landed at TN, the father has in fact been a peach, and AM has said that TN was her dream school. No reason to doubt the first, and the second is on the record. And neither is inconsistent with how people would naturally react after narrowly escaping a self-inflicted recruiting debacle.

 

[doggydaddy]

Well, I'll say how it went down as viewed from where I sat.

Some of us heard by the grapevine very promptly (and to our surprise) that the visit hadn't gone well and that the father's demands for guarantees were the reason. This was disappointing, as AM was obviously talented and we'd been hearing for some time how she was "all about UConn."

Subsequently it was reported -- at least on the Summitt and IIRC elsewhere, that AM called PHS and offered to commit, but was told that TN was headed in a "different direction." Prominent Summitteers with good coaching staff sources said at the time that AM had "a daddy problem."

But after a really good summer for AM, and perhaps compelled by the thought that TN had needed but not been able to recruit a top point guard since the Dark Ages, PHS changed her mind. Offer made and accepted, and PHS took the unusual step of anointing AM a starter in advance.

We've lately been treated to some revisionist history in the form of what now seems to be the gospel according to the Summitt. In this tale, the ill-fated UConn visit went bad because Geno wanted AM but demanded an immediate yes or no (unflattering to UConn) but AM balked because she was hoping for TN (flattering to TN).

In support of this gospel, it's been offered that, since AM landed at TN, the father has in fact been a peach, and AM has said that TN was her dream school. No reason to doubt the first, and the second is on the record. And neither is inconsistent with how people would naturally react after narrowly escaping a self-inflicted recruiting debacle.

I believe that Amber Gray was not medically cleared to play by Tennessee and she still wanted to play. I know the cynical among us thought that Pat was opening up a spot for Massengale. Congrats to Gray as a RS Senior she is playing 26.5 minutes a game and leading Xavier in scoring.

 

[Icebear]

Well, I'll say how it went down as viewed from where I sat.

Some of us heard by the grapevine very promptly (and to our surprise) that the visit hadn't gone well and that the father's demands for guarantees were the reason. This was disappointing, as AM was obviously talented and we'd been hearing for some time how she was "all about UConn."

Subsequently it was reported -- at least on the Summitt and IIRC elsewhere, that AM called PHS and offered to commit, but was told that TN was headed in a "different direction." Prominent Summitteers with good coaching staff sources said at the time that AM had "a daddy problem."

But after a really good summer for AM, and perhaps compelled by the thought that TN had needed but not been able to recruit a top point guard since the Dark Ages, PHS changed her mind. Offer made and accepted, and PHS took the unusual step of anointing AM a starter in advance.

We've lately been treated to some revisionist history in the form of what now seems to be the gospel according to the Summitt. In this tale, the ill-fated UConn visit went bad because Geno wanted AM but demanded an immediate yes or no (unflattering to UConn) but AM balked because she was hoping for TN (flattering to TN).

In support of this gospel, it's been offered that, since AM landed at TN, the father has in fact been a peach, and AM has said that TN was her dream school. No reason to doubt the first, and the second is on the record. And neither is inconsistent with how people would naturally react after narrowly escaping a self-inflicted recruiting debacle.

Pretty much what I remember from both ends, too, JS.

 

[JS]

Pretty much what I remember from both ends, too, JS.

You do your remembering from both ends?

 

[Icebear]

Well, sometimes I do have to engage my auxiliary brain which some folks refer to as having my head up ...

 

[JS]

Well, sometimes I do have to engage my auxiliary brain which some folks refer to as having my head up ...

And if you can't remember from that end, do you ascribe it to assnesia?

 

[Icebear]

And if you can't remember from that end, do you ascribe it to assnesia?

Nah, just a pain in the ...

 

[UcMiami]

Interesting thread and we never really know what happens in recruiting, but Nan's recollection is what I remember was reported at the time.
On the original post - absolutely good parents should be involved in the process, but it is a delicate thing. The O sisters going to Stanford was certainly strongly supported by the parents and I have no problem with that, as it also seemed to be their choice as well. The Hunter situation played out differently and was probably 'over-involvement'. Playing time/starting guarantees would also be 'over-involvement'.
Yes - scholarships are one year deals renewed each year, but except in extraordinary instances I cannot think of one every being withdrawn during a four year period. Breaking of team rules/school rules is obviously the type of extraordinary situation. There have been comments about x,y,or z player being forced to transfer because of future recruiting, but I don't think any of those have really been confirmed by player or family. And a coaches reputation and ability to recruit would be hurt if they were to be thought to threaten scholarship renewals based on skill or development.

 

[MilfordHusky]

What I recall is very much what JS and Ice recall.

I'll not comment on where my memory is, not due to uncharacteristic discretion, but more due to a lack of anything funny to say. Though I do recall the joke about the doctor who tried to write a prescription with a thermometer....

 

[willtalk]

Well, sometimes I do have to engage my auxiliary brain which some folks refer to as having my head up ...

That could also explain why some people have accused me of having " for Brains"

 

[Fishy]

I used to think parents should be very involved in most aspects of their kids lives. Then, I had a kid and now I think parents should be heavily involved in every single detail of their kids lives.

While I'm currently preoccupied with things like making sure she doesn't try to have ice cream for breakfast or wear flip-flops out in the snow, if my daughter ever gets to the point where she has the opportunity to play sports in college, I will become the worst sports' parent alive.

I'm not saying I want to call every play....just some of them.

However, based on one season of CYO basketball, I'm pretty sure that the nation's basketball coaches can rest easy - there isn't much need for a kid who refuses to jump because it makes her ponytail fall out.

 

[Biff]

However, based on one season of CYO basketball, I'm pretty sure that the nation's basketball coaches can rest easy - there isn't much need for a kid who refuses to jump because it makes her ponytail fall out.

You might want to have her watch Diggins ....She seems to have seamlessly integrated hair management into her game.