OT: the Tao of Married life | Page 8 | The Boneyard

OT: the Tao of Married life

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August_West said:
Lets clarify (as my effects pedal should be here wednesday so we should have a good story then).
My wife did not forget my birthday. She "wished" me happy bday when I woke up that morning. She accompanied me to my birthday gig celebration in New Haven that night (which I selflessly :) co-billed as HER bday celebration too, even though hers was 2 days prior and it was the day of my bday).

So she was fully aware it was my birthday.

the issue is she chose not to honor it with either gift or card. Like I said earlier, dont particularly care on the whole. Just get a kick of the hypocrisy of it if the roles were reversed.
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So...do you think she's having an affair? Just asking...
 
August_West said:
Lets clarify (as my effects pedal should be here wednesday so we should have a good story then)
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What's the pedal? Just curious, I've been playing guitar for 47 years and I'm finally getting good at it.;) Have a dozen or so pedals in my rig.
 
Bezzz said:
What's the pedal? Just curious, I've been playing guitar for 47 years and I'm finally getting good at it.;) Have a dozen or so pedals in my rig.
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Strymon brigadier delay
 
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The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
 
RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
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It is amazing what we can do when we have to. My dad has spent the last few years taking care of my mother. He didn't know how to do anything but his job and he'd fix things around the house here and there. He's picked up all kinds of skills. He cooks well, cleans, pays bills, makes appointments etc. It isn't that hard, just new to him. You'll be fine. Just ask her what you can do for her, she'll tell you. Also, tell her not to feel like a burden, this was part of the promise you made her.

As far as things you may really be clueless about, ask for help. If you don't know where to get help, ask here. There is a lot of brain power on The Boneyard. Also, a lot of nice people who'd probably help you themselves. I hope your wife is healthy soon.
 
RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
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Yikes ... that is a scary development, hopefully she'll get better soon. I'm sure you will be there for her and when in doubt, ask someone. Brilliant, huh? Best wishes!
 
RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
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Hang in there Rich. You have the right sensibility. If you don't know, ask. Especially when it comes to doctors and nurses. Ask questions until you get answers.

I hope this is a minor bump and she's out of there soon.
 
RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
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Blessings to you and yours Rich... We may joke about their puzzling ways but they are still our better halves...
 
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RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
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Best of luck to and her Rich.
 
RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
Expand ...

You'll do okay and I hope that she does too.
 
RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
Expand ...

RichZ a caring man like yourself who has seen what others can do for you will find this easy I am sure. Your best will be all she needs and the best of wishes to you and your better half sincerely.
 
RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
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We all wish her a speedy recovery. It's overwhelming because you love her and are worried for her. People who care for one another find ways to work it out. The most important thing is that she recovers. Best of luck Rich.
 
RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
Expand ...

When I first started dating my wife, two weeks after our first date she ended up in the hospital with a lacerated pancreas. She was in the ocean, and a wave knocked her over, and she hit the ocean floor just right to make the cut. She was in intensive care for a few days before I found out about it, since her parents didn't think to call her new boyfriend. It was never life-threatening, but pretty scary anyway. I drove down to Atlantic City (where they were staying) to spend the weekend with her. She was hopped up on morphine and only remembers bits and pieces of my stay. When she was well enough to travel, they moved her up to Danbury for another few weeks. I remember thinking the same thing: what can I do? She was only my girlfriend for a few weeks, but we had been pretty good friends throughout college so I knew her well. Anyway, she says to this day that just being there in the hospital meant so much to her, and travelling down to Atlantic City with no notice and staying for a few nights helped her out immeasurably.

Sorry I hijacked your story Rich, but my point is this: just be there. Hold her hand, make her laugh when she's in a crappy mood. Play cards with her if she's into that sort of thing. It will mean the world to her. Good luck, man, and I hope she gets better soon so she can go back to doing all of that stuff for you ;)
 
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RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
Expand ...
Just said a quick prayer for her.

Did they find out what was the issue?
 
RichZ said:
The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.
Expand ...
Been there, done that. It comes somewhat naturally from being the receiver over 35 years. We may not can match their caregiving skills but adequately enough we can nurse them back to good health. A neat and clean house is the biggie for my wife. Also being there and being responsive is very helpful. As for food well my mediocre and basic cooking will do short term. I have daughters nearby who pitch in with some food.

Sorry to hear about the development but she is in good and loving hands.
 
CL82 said:
Just said a quick prayer for her.

Did they find out what was the issue?
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Thank you everyone for your concern. The Boneyard is a wonderful and caring extension of family! I think we're out of the woods, at least for now.

Since she only ever had the one stone that was way too big to pass, she had no experience with the 'joys' of moving a stone from kidney to bladder via the ureter. Evidently, after they pulverised it, one of the larger, sharper chunks decided pretty quickly to go for a ride down the ureter and naturally got lodged not too far in. As anyone who has ever suffered from kidney stones knows, that typically produces excruciating pain, high fever and nausea. But it happened so soon after the procedure, she was still under the influence of the antibiotics and the narcotics. So her temp didn't go up, and she didn't feel much of the pain, yet she displayed the outward symptoms of a kidney stone attack. And overnight stay with both a steady saline IV and constant water drinking appears to have flushed the stone remnant through the ureter into the bladder, so all is well this afternoon, and she is home resting comfortably -- for now.

X rays show a couple more comparable sized shards, so there may be a similar episode or two in the near future, but next time, with the pain and perhaps a bit more of an elevated fever, since the amoxicillin and percocet she's got for home use doesn't compare to the antibiotics and anesthetics she was on in the hospital. But I've been informed that if she passes them quickly it shouldn't be too big an issue, since the ureter is already stretched out from the first one, and apparently will take some time to return to normal, so there's a good chance the larger remnants will vacate the premises without becoming lodged in the ureter. She's just got to drink crazy amounts of water to get them moving in a hurry.

Thanks again for all the prayers and well wishes.
 
August_West said:
Straying from a food thread.

This just happened to me this afternoon running around doing errands.

My wife yells at me ( rightly so, it's dangerous) when I occasionally check text messages while driving. I'm pretty good about not doing it but I'm on call 24/7 for my job and sometimes need a glance .

Anyway, today my wife starts sending me all kinds of messages, which I don't answer (because I'm driving ) and then sent 5 follow ups berating me for not answering her. The rub there is she KNEW I was driving.
When I finally called her and explained my eureka moment of her female hypocrisy, she somehow stayed convinced that this case was different.

What things does your spouse do that make want you to check yourself into the puzzle factory?
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We argue about the same thing, but I am the wife in this situation

I teach safe driving for a living so when my wife doesn't drive safe or is texting while driving I get on her.

Then one time a few weeks ago I lashed out at her when she got home for not responding about a question and you could only imagine what happen, lol.
 
RichZ said:
Thank you everyone for your concern. The Boneyard is a wonderful and caring extension of family! I think we're out of the woods, at least for now.

Since she only ever had the one stone that was way too big to pass, she had no experience with the 'joys' of moving a stone from kidney to bladder via the ureter. Evidently, after they pulverised it, one of the larger, sharper chunks decided pretty quickly to go for a ride down the ureter and naturally got lodged not too far in. As anyone who has ever suffered from kidney stones knows, that typically produces excruciating pain, high fever and nausea. But it happened so soon after the procedure, she was still under the influence of the antibiotics and the narcotics. So her temp didn't go up, and she didn't feel much of the pain, yet she displayed the outward symptoms of a kidney stone attack. And overnight stay with both a steady saline IV and constant water drinking appears to have flushed the stone remnant through the ureter into the bladder, so all is well this afternoon, and she is home resting comfortably -- for now.

X rays show a couple more comparable sized shards, so there may be a similar episode or two in the near future, but next time, with the pain and perhaps a bit more of an elevated fever, since the amoxicillin and percocet she's got for home use doesn't compare to the antibiotics and anesthetics she was on in the hospital. But I've been informed that if she passes them quickly it shouldn't be too big an issue, since the ureter is already stretched out from the first one, and apparently will take some time to return to normal, so there's a good chance the larger remnants will vacate the premises without becoming lodged in the ureter. She's just got to drink crazy amounts of water to get them moving in a hurry.

Thanks again for all the prayers and well wishes.
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Glad to hear it wasn't something more serious. Thanks for posting the update.
 
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Sorry to take the conversation on a different tack...I'm back in San Diego, on leave from my ship in Guam, meeting with the wife to discuss the settlement, packing up my remaining stuff here to be put in storage by the Navy. We will be meeting with her lawyer tomorrow...say a prayer or wish me luck (your choice)!
 
huskyharry said:
Sorry to take the conversation on a different tack...I'm back in San Diego, on leave from my ship in Guam, meeting with the wife to discuss the settlement, packing up my remaining stuff here to be put in storage by the Navy. We will be meeting with her lawyer tomorrow...say a prayer or wish me luck (your choice)!
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Good luck, Harry. That does not sound like fun, hope it goes as well as it can.
 
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