OT: the Tao of Married life | Page 7 | The Boneyard

OT: the Tao of Married life

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Fishy said:
Does she know how close she is to getting stranded at the top of a mountain? Does she know who she's arguing with?

I almost feel like I should warn her.
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I wonder how many people on the board will even get this.
 
jleves said:
So I finally have to add one which will be different but equally annoying to me. My wife has a much better understanding of Los Angeles freeways, downtown streets, and traffic patterns than I do. Whenever I'm driving and we're going through or around L.A. I will ask her the very simple question 'Which way should I go?' Invariably she will tell me about 3 or 4 different options. I will then ask again 'Which way would you go?' and she will give me the option she thinks I want.

As soon as we are past the point of no return for the way she would go as opposed to what she thinks I want to go, she will say 'You could have gone that way and it would probably be better.'

And then the argument ensues -

Me: Why didn't you tell me to go that way?
Her: I thought you wanted to go this way.
Me: I asked you to tell which way would you go.
Her: Why are you raising your voice?
Me: I asked you which way would you go, why didn't you just tell me?
Her: You don't like going that way.
Me: But I asked which would you go.
Her: Why are you raising your voice?

Obviously men and women think different and man and wife will always have disconnects, but how hard is the question 'Which way should I go?' I will never understand why there isn't one and only one answer to the question.
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It's a puzzler for sure, but I'm more troubled by you taking driving directions from a woman. That is unacceptable according to man code. You are breaking a long standing tradition and understanding. If you don't know where you're going, pretend you do. Or you know there is a thing today called Google maps or even better; Waze which will always pick best route.
 
My scotch story reminded me of another one. I worked with a guy who was really henpecked. He worked like a dog and his wife got laid off and never went back to the workplace. She kept going for things like massage therapist and it'd fall out of interest halfway through. This was maybe 15 years ago. The guy literally had one step up from a black and white 19 inch tube television. Every time he'd mention to her about getting a nice flat screen, she'd bite his head off. She was a reader (newspapers and magazines) and would just sit there, no matter what TV he was watching so it didn't matter to her.

I broke it down to him one day something like this: "Listen. A new 52 inch flat screen is what? $1,400? It will last you 10 years. That's 140.00 a year. If you watch it, say 250 days a year, that's $0.56 a day. She gets the paper delivered, right? That's $0.50 a day. All those magazine subscriptions? Books? She's worth $0.50 a day not working but you aren't when you work a full time job and bust your hump all week?"

He got so whipped up into a lather he went home that night and ripped her a new one. Then got himself a new TV that weekend....and a fifth of bourbon. And he sat in front of his new TV drinking his bourbon like a big ol' fat cat.
 
David 76 said:
I come here for solace. My normally patient, caring wife came down with Grave's Disease 4-5 months ago. Graves is a form of hyper-thyroid which also is also an auto-immune disease. She is exhausted and often in pain and awaiting a thyroidectomy. Very sad

Other symptoms of this are irritability, occasional thyroid rages, and an absolute certainty that anything that has ever gone wrong is entirely my fault. Her memory has become crystal clear and any mistake I ever made, she has remembered and relives in cyclic fashion. All those mistakes (and I have a lot) are viewed as totally intentional and proof of my utter worthlessness as a human being.

Other than that, things are fine.
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Thank goodness the outcome for this is very good and surgery can correct this. Hang in there. Really demonstrates how the brain is impacted by things. But you know this already. So many people really struggle to understand why we think so differently from one another. They presume that people can change easily. Unlike hyperthyroidism the way we view the world differently from one another is a lot more complex.
 
.-.
Dogbreath2U said:
It's a good thing that there aren't too many snow covered mountains near Southern California.
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Au Contraire

LA_Skyline_Mountains2.jpg
 
Bliss said:
I guess that I'm just lucky. Been married for 55 years to a woman I've known nearly all of my life. We grew up in the same small-town neighborhood and went to school together but never dated until after high school when she expressed an interest in cruisin' in my '52 Ford Victoria after we closed the pool where we both worked as lifeguards. (And she still looks great!) She even bought beer for me when the state law said she could do so at 18 but I had to be 21. She liked cars, cruisin', and beer - wow, the gold standard. She's sweet, never pushy, completely loyal, a great mother, and my best friend.and she still enjoys cruisin' old two-lane highways, although we no longer drink. My sympathy goes out to those who didn't find one like her.

Oh sure, she'll express an opinion when she doesn't like something; like, "Are you going to wear that shirt?" Okay, she thinks I should wear another shirt and I can live with that. She's a notorious giver-awayer of stuff to charities and I've learned to just surrender something to the donation, whether or not I'm finished using/wearing it. She prefers that I not keep "stuff" like tires, wheels, my old Schwinn bicycle, etc. even though I continue to do so. Very small prices to pay in return for the wife that I have. Everyone should be so fortunate.
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Really beautiful story but given that this is The Boneyard your remarks cannot be left without some comment.

I know that you did not express it but do you think that those of us who are writing about our spouses in this thread (outside of @Deepster) feel any differently then you do about our spouses? Or are you saying women who do things in a way that's different then the way we men would do them are not up to the standards of your wife? Good thing for you this forum is anonymous because if either of these questions were in the affirmative you would be in hot water. And if the women mentioned in these threads (outside of your wife) saw your post, you would end up skewered, because unlike the rest of us, you would have no way of handling their responses to you.

Which leads me to another point. We've had tons of time dealing with their contrarian behavior and have become evolutionarily strong. It's a competition. Victories are tough for us. When we win them we know we've earned our national championships. We're the men's bb team. We don't blow out the competition every game. Our success is hard fought. You're the women's bb team. You don't invite viewership to the scale we attain.

We wear our battle scars proudly and have lots of entertaining anecdotes to present at parties. And our spouses can claim the same. We are the epitome of western development which has pushed forth the proposition that women have every right to be equally as stupid as the male species. We are the success stories. Not you my friend.

Of course I have trouble believing everything you say. Perhaps you wife is every bit as ornery or obtuse or whatever as our wives and you lack the insight to know you're being tooled. Or maybe, unlike the rest of us, you have been unable to break away from the spell or drugs your wife has used to control you and make you oblivious to this control. At first I admired you. But after some consideration I've come to pity you. I wouldn't trade my 42 years of marital spice for marital blandness. I don't need to put ketchup on my "bird" (English and American version implied). Red on us is the real deal.

My suggestion to you is understand that we are fortunate and you are fortunate. Just in different ways. And yes. Just as the posts I've made in this thread my comments are tongue in cheek. I laugh at no one and every one at the same time. Misery loves company and insists on everyone join the party. You looked lonely my friend.
 
jleves said:
I wonder how many people on the board will even get this.
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Vague memory of a story posted. Wasn't there a reference of mountain snow, nudity and some woman? Or am I completely wrong?
 
fleudslipcon said:
Thank goodness the outcome for this is very good and surgery can correct this. Hang in there. Really demonstrates how the brain is impacted by things. But you know this already. So many people really struggle to understand why we think so differently from one another. They presume that people can change easily. Unlike hyperthyroidism the way we view the world differently from one another is a lot more complex.
Expand ...

Tomorrow is surgery day!
 
.-.
It is major surgery, but thyroid is about as good as it gets.
 
.-.
fleudslipcon said:
Really beautiful story but given that this is The Boneyard your remarks cannot be left without some comment.

I know that you did not express it but do you think that those of us who are writing about our spouses in this thread (outside of @Deepster) feel any differently then you do about our spouses? Or are you saying women who do things in a way that's different then the way we men would do them are not up to the standards of your wife? Good thing for you this forum is anonymous because if either of these questions were in the affirmative you would be in hot water. And if the women mentioned in these threads (outside of your wife) saw your post, you would end up skewered, because unlike the rest of us, you would have no way of handling their responses to you.

Which leads me to another point. We've had tons of time dealing with their contrarian behavior and have become evolutionarily strong. It's a competition. Victories are tough for us. When we win them we know we've earned our national championships. We're the men's bb team. We don't blow out the competition every game. Our success is hard fought. You're the women's bb team. You don't invite viewership to the scale we attain.

We wear our battle scars proudly and have lots of entertaining anecdotes to present at parties. And our spouses can claim the same. We are the epitome of western development which has pushed forth the proposition that women have every right to be equally as stupid as the male species. We are the success stories. Not you my friend.

Of course I have trouble believing everything you say. Perhaps you wife is every bit as ornery or obtuse or whatever as our wives and you lack the insight to know you're being tooled. Or maybe, unlike the rest of us, you have been unable to break away from the spell or drugs your wife has used to control you and make you oblivious to this control. At first I admired you. But after some consideration I've come to pity you. I wouldn't trade my 42 years of marital spice for marital blandness. I don't need to put ketchup on my "bird" (English and American version implied). Red on us is the real deal.

My suggestion to you is understand that we are fortunate and you are fortunate. Just in different ways. And yes. Just as the posts I've made in this thread my comments are tongue in cheek. I laugh at no one and every one at the same time. Misery loves company and insists on everyone join the party. You looked lonely my friend.
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To each his own, pal.
 
Bliss said:
I guess that I'm just lucky. Been married for 55 years to a woman I've known nearly all of my life. We grew up in the same small-town neighborhood and went to school together but never dated until after high school when she expressed an interest in cruisin' in my '52 Ford Victoria after we closed the pool where we both worked as lifeguards. (And she still looks great!) She even bought beer for me when the state law said she could do so at 18 but I had to be 21. She liked cars, cruisin', and beer - wow, the gold standard. She's sweet, never pushy, completely loyal, a great mother, and my best friend.and she still enjoys cruisin' old two-lane highways, although we no longer drink. My sympathy goes out to those who didn't find one like her.

Oh sure, she'll express an opinion when she doesn't like something; like, "Are you going to wear that shirt?" Okay, she thinks I should wear another shirt and I can live with that. She's a notorious giver-awayer of stuff to charities and I've learned to just surrender something to the donation, whether or not I'm finished using/wearing it. She prefers that I not keep "stuff" like tires, wheels, my old Schwinn bicycle, etc. even though I continue to do so. Very small prices to pay in return for the wife that I have. Everyone should be so fortunate.
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Man, all you other boneyarders stink.

Nobody called out what may be the definitive Post/Handle of all time.
 
Hoophound said:
All you guys telling August to buy himself a gift and pretend she sent it are nuts. If he does it, she'll blame him for humiliating her. She'll say, "You created and executed this whole plan to mock and embarrass me when you are supposed to love me? Wow, that is messed up. What you've done is just mean and twisted. I just forgot your birthday and..I didn't really forget it but the night I was going to surprise you with your favorite dinner and sex on the kitchen counter you ditched me for a last minute gig and came home at 4 am. Still, I didn't say that you messed up my whole plan because I didn't want you to feel bad, but I also had the decency not to mock you like some psycho. Sleep on the couch."

Very quickly you will realize the entire thing was your fault and you'll wonder how you could have ever thought otherwise.
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angry-woman.jpg

"and you ...put..it... on... the... INTERNET?!!!!"
 
Hoophound said:
All you guys telling August to buy himself a gift and pretend she sent it are nuts. If he does it, she'll blame him for humiliating her. She'll say, "You created and executed this whole plan to mock and embarrass me when you are supposed to love me? Wow, that is messed up. What you've done is just mean and twisted. I just forgot your birthday and..I didn't really forget it but the night I was going to surprise you with your favorite dinner and sex on the kitchen counter you ditched me for a last minute gig and came home at 4 am. Still, I didn't say that you messed up my whole plan because I didn't want you to feel bad, but I also had the decency not to mock you like some psycho. Sleep on the couch."

Very quickly you will realize the entire thing was your fault and you'll wonder how you could have ever thought otherwise.
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Lets clarify (as my effects pedal should be here wednesday so we should have a good story then).
My wife did not forget my birthday. She "wished" me happy bday when I woke up that morning. She accompanied me to my birthday gig celebration in New Haven that night (which I selflessly :) co-billed as HER bday celebration too, even though hers was 2 days prior and it was the day of my bday).

So she was fully aware it was my birthday.

the issue is she chose not to honor it with either gift or card. Like I said earlier, dont particularly care on the whole. Just get a kick of the hypocrisy of it if the roles were reversed.
 
You guys keep bringing up women recalling mistakes. That's because you guys made way too many compared to the women!
 
.-.
Lets say you left you computer on with this thread open and your wife happened to stumble upon it and started reading through. How would that affect your life? :eek:
 
August_West said:
Lets clarify (as my effects pedal should be here wednesday so we should have a good story then).
My wife did not forget my birthday. She "wished" me happy bday when I woke up that morning. She accompanied me to my birthday gig celebration in New Haven that night (which I selflessly :) co-billed as HER bday celebration too, even though hers was 2 days prior and it was the day of my bday).

So she was fully aware it was my birthday.

the issue is she chose not to honor it with either gift or card. Like I said earlier, dont particularly care on the whole. Just get a kick of the hypocrisy of it if the roles were reversed.
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So, basically you are a whiner and your wife is fine.
 
.-.
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