OT: the Tao of Married life

[ctchamps]

The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.

We all wish her a speedy recovery. It's overwhelming because you love her and are worried for her. People who care for one another find ways to work it out. The most important thing is that she recovers. Best of luck Rich.

 

[Rico444]

The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.

When I first started dating my wife, two weeks after our first date she ended up in the hospital with a lacerated pancreas. She was in the ocean, and a wave knocked her over, and she hit the ocean floor just right to make the cut. She was in intensive care for a few days before I found out about it, since her parents didn't think to call her new boyfriend. It was never life-threatening, but pretty scary anyway. I drove down to Atlantic City (where they were staying) to spend the weekend with her. She was hopped up on morphine and only remembers bits and pieces of my stay. When she was well enough to travel, they moved her up to Danbury for another few weeks. I remember thinking the same thing: what can I do? She was only my girlfriend for a few weeks, but we had been pretty good friends throughout college so I knew her well. Anyway, she says to this day that just being there in the hospital meant so much to her, and travelling down to Atlantic City with no notice and staying for a few nights helped her out immeasurably.

Sorry I hijacked your story Rich, but my point is this: just be there. Hold her hand, make her laugh when she's in a crappy mood. Play cards with her if she's into that sort of thing. It will mean the world to her. Good luck, man, and I hope she gets better soon so she can go back to doing all of that stuff for you

 

[David 76]

Prayers for you and your wife.

All went well yesterday. I pick her up today! Thanks!

 

[David 76]

Hey David, I hope things went well and that the situation improves from here.

Thanks. She did well! I'm sure she will go back to her loving self. It was like Jekyll and Hyde though.

 

[CL82]

The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.

Just said a quick prayer for her.

Did they find out what was the issue?

 

[Kitaman]

The lady that I have lived with for 51+ years now, who has -- when major health crises put me down for extended periods -- taken care of me and my needs better than any combination of nurse, cook, personal assistant, accountant and sex goddess could ever be expected to, has taken ill. Went into the hospital for a minor procedure -- having a kidney stone that is way to big to pass and which has been causing an unending series of UTIs pulverized. 45 minute procedure, and was supposed to be on her way home by noon. 11:30m, she suddenly got nausea and uncontrollable shivering, with no fever. Her urologist was still in the building, as he had 2 other procedures to do after hers. So he comes to check on her, orders a bunch of blood work and tests, and has her admitted. So now it's my turn to try to do for her as she's done for me all these decades.

I don't mind a bit. Just wish I had a clue to how to do some of this stuff.

Been there, done that. It comes somewhat naturally from being the receiver over 35 years. We may not can match their caregiving skills but adequately enough we can nurse them back to good health. A neat and clean house is the biggie for my wife. Also being there and being responsive is very helpful. As for food well my mediocre and basic cooking will do short term. I have daughters nearby who pitch in with some food.

Sorry to hear about the development but she is in good and loving hands.

 

[RichZ]

Just said a quick prayer for her.

Did they find out what was the issue?

Thank you everyone for your concern. The Boneyard is a wonderful and caring extension of family! I think we're out of the woods, at least for now.

Since she only ever had the one stone that was way too big to pass, she had no experience with the 'joys' of moving a stone from kidney to bladder via the ureter. Evidently, after they pulverised it, one of the larger, sharper chunks decided pretty quickly to go for a ride down the ureter and naturally got lodged not too far in. As anyone who has ever suffered from kidney stones knows, that typically produces excruciating pain, high fever and nausea. But it happened so soon after the procedure, she was still under the influence of the antibiotics and the narcotics. So her temp didn't go up, and she didn't feel much of the pain, yet she displayed the outward symptoms of a kidney stone attack. And overnight stay with both a steady saline IV and constant water drinking appears to have flushed the stone remnant through the ureter into the bladder, so all is well this afternoon, and she is home resting comfortably -- for now.

X rays show a couple more comparable sized shards, so there may be a similar episode or two in the near future, but next time, with the pain and perhaps a bit more of an elevated fever, since the amoxicillin and percocet she's got for home use doesn't compare to the antibiotics and anesthetics she was on in the hospital. But I've been informed that if she passes them quickly it shouldn't be too big an issue, since the ureter is already stretched out from the first one, and apparently will take some time to return to normal, so there's a good chance the larger remnants will vacate the premises without becoming lodged in the ureter. She's just got to drink crazy amounts of water to get them moving in a hurry.

Thanks again for all the prayers and well wishes.

 

[EBonz30]

Straying from a food thread.

This just happened to me this afternoon running around doing errands.

My wife yells at me ( rightly so, it's dangerous) when I occasionally check text messages while driving. I'm pretty good about not doing it but I'm on call 24/7 for my job and sometimes need a glance .

Anyway, today my wife starts sending me all kinds of messages, which I don't answer (because I'm driving ) and then sent 5 follow ups berating me for not answering her. The rub there is she KNEW I was driving.
When I finally called her and explained my eureka moment of her female hypocrisy, she somehow stayed convinced that this case was different.

What things does your spouse do that make want you to check yourself into the puzzle factory?

We argue about the same thing, but I am the wife in this situation

I teach safe driving for a living so when my wife doesn't drive safe or is texting while driving I get on her.

Then one time a few weeks ago I lashed out at her when she got home for not responding about a question and you could only imagine what happen, lol.

 

[CL82]

Thank you everyone for your concern. The Boneyard is a wonderful and caring extension of family! I think we're out of the woods, at least for now.

Since she only ever had the one stone that was way too big to pass, she had no experience with the 'joys' of moving a stone from kidney to bladder via the ureter. Evidently, after they pulverised it, one of the larger, sharper chunks decided pretty quickly to go for a ride down the ureter and naturally got lodged not too far in. As anyone who has ever suffered from kidney stones knows, that typically produces excruciating pain, high fever and nausea. But it happened so soon after the procedure, she was still under the influence of the antibiotics and the narcotics. So her temp didn't go up, and she didn't feel much of the pain, yet she displayed the outward symptoms of a kidney stone attack. And overnight stay with both a steady saline IV and constant water drinking appears to have flushed the stone remnant through the ureter into the bladder, so all is well this afternoon, and she is home resting comfortably -- for now.

X rays show a couple more comparable sized shards, so there may be a similar episode or two in the near future, but next time, with the pain and perhaps a bit more of an elevated fever, since the amoxicillin and percocet she's got for home use doesn't compare to the antibiotics and anesthetics she was on in the hospital. But I've been informed that if she passes them quickly it shouldn't be too big an issue, since the ureter is already stretched out from the first one, and apparently will take some time to return to normal, so there's a good chance the larger remnants will vacate the premises without becoming lodged in the ureter. She's just got to drink crazy amounts of water to get them moving in a hurry.

Thanks again for all the prayers and well wishes.

Glad to hear it wasn't something more serious. Thanks for posting the update.

 

[David 76]

Wishing Mrs. Z and Rich as smooth a trip as posible.

Thanks to all of you for your support!

 

[mauconnfan]

Wishing Mrs. Z and Rich as smooth a trip as posible.

Thanks to all of you for your support!

Glad everything is ok David.

 

[RichZ]

Wishing Mrs. Z and Rich as smooth a trip as posible.

Thanks to all of you for your support!

Thank you, and glad to hear that you're out of the woods.

 

[huskyharry]

Sorry to take the conversation on a different tack...I'm back in San Diego, on leave from my ship in Guam, meeting with the wife to discuss the settlement, packing up my remaining stuff here to be put in storage by the Navy. We will be meeting with her lawyer tomorrow...say a prayer or wish me luck (your choice)!

 

[Dogbreath2U]

Sorry to take the conversation on a different tack...I'm back in San Diego, on leave from my ship in Guam, meeting with the wife to discuss the settlement, packing up my remaining stuff here to be put in storage by the Navy. We will be meeting with her lawyer tomorrow...say a prayer or wish me luck (your choice)!

Good luck, Harry. That does not sound like fun, hope it goes as well as it can.

 

[mauconnfan]

Thank you, and glad to hear that you're out of the woods.

Glad to hear of the good news on your end too Rich continued health for your better half.

 

[mauconnfan]

Sorry to take the conversation on a different tack...I'm back in San Diego, on leave from my ship in Guam, meeting with the wife to discuss the settlement, packing up my remaining stuff here to be put in storage by the Navy. We will be meeting with her lawyer tomorrow...say a prayer or wish me luck (your choice)!

Sucks harry, best of luck in a tough situation obviously.

 

[Chin Diesel]

Sorry to take the conversation on a different tack...I'm back in San Diego, on leave from my ship in Guam, meeting with the wife to discuss the settlement, packing up my remaining stuff here to be put in storage by the Navy. We will be meeting with her lawyer tomorrow...say a prayer or wish me luck (your choice)!

Didn't anyone tell you if the Navy wanted you to have a wife, they would have issued you one in boot camp (I'm retired Navy so I can throw that out there).

On a more serious note, take care of what you need to do for you. Shipboard life isn't a place for wandering or distracted minds. Hope it worked out okay for you.

 

[huskyharry]

It actually went pretty well....she is getting a pretty robust alimony for the first four years but then it cuts down to about 35% of my retirement. I'm pretty relieved that I am now officially separated actually.

Thanks for the support!

 

[uconnfan68]

Sorry to take the conversation on a different tack...I'm back in San Diego, on leave from my ship in Guam, meeting with the wife to discuss the settlement, packing up my remaining stuff here to be put in storage by the Navy. We will be meeting with her lawyer tomorrow...say a prayer or wish me luck (your choice)!

Caution! Do not put personal items in storage. My stuff was stolen, and I got back much less than the worth in my settlement. San Diego, Navy. Good luck.

 

[UconnFanNVa]

Anyone going to post about their wife that gets on their nerves sometimes so that i can feel better about mine getting on my nerves? What happened to this thread?

 

[August_West]

Anyone going to post about their wife that gets on their nerves sometimes so that i can feel better about mine getting on my nerves? What happened to this thread?

Get it off your chest, brother. You will feel better. Lets hear it.

 

[UconnFanNVa]

lol when I alerted her to her alarm going off on 3 separate occasions this morning (she's a snoozer) and then asked her if she was getting up and got leave me alone i'm tired.... I left her alone. She pops up later and realizes she is really late. Then i get the cold shoulder all morning!! Nothing i can say that wont piss her off, and is it worth it to piss her off? No so you just keep your mouth shut. But man that kind of thing gets under my skin!!

 

[Deepster]

lol when I alerted her to her alarm going off on 3 separate occasions this morning (she's a snoozer) and then asked her if she was getting up and got leave me alone i'm tired.... I left her alone. She pops up later and realizes she is really late. Then i get the cold shoulder all morning!! Nothing i can say that wont piss her off, and is it worth it to piss her off? No so you just keep your mouth shut. But man that kind of thing gets under my skin!!

Check the wastebasket for tampon wrappers. I used to chart out my wife's period on my work calendar and knew the 2-3 days each month I was going to be in the middle of PMS hell. Good luck, buddy.

 

[UconnFanNVa]

You are on the money Deepster, Aunt flow is on the way. Should be here any minute now. Still gets under my skin!!

 

[4 Titles]

My wife took the word of our four year old over me, twice, in a row.

I take him to preschool so I know his daily routines but...

She says to me, “He says that Oscar is not in his class anymore. What happened?”

I said, “He's still there baby.”

She says, “That’s not what he said.”

I said, “I just gave Oscar a high five this morning. Maybe ten.”

She says, “He wouldn’t lie to me.”

I shook my head and said “okay”.

Then she says, “He said he missed the fire safety show today.”

I said, “What fire safety show?”

She says, “I don’t know but I want to know why he wasn’t included.”

I said, “If there was a fire safety show, I’d know about it. He didn’t miss anything.”

She says, “I’m calling the preschool.”

I just walked out of the kitchen. She’ll call, realize I’m right but we may never hear about it again. Or, she’ll say he’s been lying and make the comment “I wonder where he gets that from?”

I usually follow up a comment like that with “From the passive aggressive store.” She doesn’t know what it means but it makes her mad.

I remember when we were dating, she hung on my every word.