OT: the Tao of Married life | Page 10 | The Boneyard

OT: the Tao of Married life

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uconnell said:
Does this Tao work for women too? If it does I'd like to complain about my husband ( deceased) but still fair game. Never took any tools with him to do any job, but had me looking for them once he started to work on anything in the house, which wasn't very often. Painted the kitchen without any tarp on the floor, so I had to scrape the paint off. Never changed a diaper, held a baby or fed them, never got up at night with a crying baby, could not be left alone with the babies, trust was involved for a reason. To top it all off, picked him up at the Hartford Hospital after heart surgery and where did he want to go. Mickey ads.

I should write a book.b there is so much more but it making me angry over again.
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Sorry you put up with it. Don't think I could have. Hope things are better now.​
 
mauconnfan said:
This thread makes me want to buy my wife something - man she's an angel.
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Mau enjoy her while it's great. I just hope you realize that everyone posting here, at one time or another, said the exact same thing.
 
uconnell said:
Does this Tao work for women too? If it does I'd like to complain about my husband ( deceased) but still fair game. Never took any tools with him to do any job, but had me looking for them once he started to work on anything in the house, which wasn't very often. Painted the kitchen without any tarp on the floor, so I had to scrape the paint off. Never changed a diaper, held a baby or fed them, never got up at night with a crying baby, could not be left alone with the babies, trust was involved for a reason. To top it all off, picked him up at the Hartford Hospital after heart surgery and where did he want to go. Mickey ads.

I should write a book.b there is so much more but it making me angry over again.
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You win! An occasionally annoying wife is no match for this.
 
I just read the entire post and it was a great read. Married 43 years yesterday and wanted to let you all know that I figured something out a long ago. I readily admit to being way more than 50% of the problem....BUT not the whole problem. She has earned her nickname of "Miss Direction" over and over, is never satisfied with my cleaning (she doesn't get that I don't see dirt), fights unfairly (brings up old girlfriends from 35 years ago), fails the logic test and then gets accuses me of being "always right" ...oh the double standard. I could go and on but my point is... I am glad she'll still have me.
 
uconnfan68 said:
Solved this a long time ago. I give her all the money, she pays the bills. All because I never bothered to reconcile my checkbook to the penny. Always had a buffer in my favor. Wasn't good enough.
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My system works great. I open the bills, mark the date on which the check should be written on the face of the envelope, file in date order, and she pays the bills on the appropriate date and sees where all the money goes.
 
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August_West said:
Thats what I do. She is taking it anyway, she might as well do the bills.
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Yep. I haven't seen my bank statement in a decade. She hires people that need hiring too. Plumbers, electricians, the sprinkler people. Occasionally I need to wade in, but she effectively manages the household and does it well.

My main issues fall into two categories. The second is minor.
1. I am very hard of hearing. It causes two issues...one, I don't hear things but may nod or whatever as if I did, when reading the paper for example. Two, she often doesn't tell me things (like taking my daughter and her friend to Lake Canobie yesterday) but assumes that if she said it out loud (like to the mother of the other girl on the phone) then it was said to me. I find that I never know what is going on as a result, until the last minute.

2. She breaks everything electrical. I suspect witchcraft. Brand new iPad Air 2...must be returned, typing doesn't work right. The internet is broken somehow. She can't make the blu-ray player work. The computer is slow. Her Verizon email won't send on her phone. This woman was a manager in the Fidelity IT department!

As they say, if that's all I have to complain about, I don't have much to complain about. She has a few double standards as well, but admits them at least.
 
Deepster said:
I tried to let her do the bills for a while. I figured that when she saw where the money went and how bad we were piling up the debt, it would open her eyes. It didn't. It just taught her how to juggle the money more, pay stuff late, transfer debt to new credit cards with "0% interest" and our financial position got even worse.
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Wow. Mine is the opposite. She called the credit union yesterday to check the car loan balance on a new car I got last August. $3500. She wanted to send them a check immediately to close it. She overpays the mortgage too. She pays the bills at least 2 weeks before they are due, electronically in most cases.
 
mauconnfan said:
This thread makes me want to buy my wife something - man she's an angel.
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Dont make it something too expensive because then you'll raise her expectations.... And something too small because she might be offended... And either way, if you get her something just for being an angel, what happens next week when you dont get her something, is she no longer an angel? You see? Being all appreciative only hurts you in the long run. Give her a nice love tap and say, you know? you are alright with me... Then move on :cool:
 
Petero said:
I just read the entire post and it was a great read. Married 43 years yesterday and wanted to let you all know that I figured something out a long ago. I readily admit to being way more than 50% of the problem....BUT not the whole problem. She has earned her nickname of "Miss Direction" over and over, is never satisfied with my cleaning (she doesn't get that I don't see dirt), fights unfairly (brings up old girlfriends from 35 years ago), fails the logic test and then gets accuses me of being "always right" ...oh the double standard. I could go and on but my point is... I am glad she'll still have me.
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She might be on to something.
 
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Paying the bills. When we got married, my wife had never written a check in her life, much less balanced a check book. I handled all the bill paying, of course. Fast forward 7 or 8 years. My appendix busts on Labor Day. I am in the hospital until Thanksgiving. She obviously had to take over paying the bills. Taught herself what she needed to do, asked my mom for help on things she couldn't figure out. That was around 72 or 73. I may have seen the family checkbook a dozen times since then. She keeps this huge hand written chart of the bills and has her own filing system. I tell her to put it in a spreadsheet or something, but no. She trusts hand written.

Things we are not capable of. I'm not great at dish washing, but I manage when I have to. She doesn't like the way I do it, so it's not too often. But I am incapable of making a bed or ironing a shirt. At least to her satisfaction. If I make the bed, she will remake it immediately. Ironing, she just won't let me do, because then she has to get all the creases out of where they don't belong.

On the other hand, she is not allowed to touch an extension cord. She can pick up a neatly coiled extension cord, move it three feet, and when she puts it down, it's a very large Gordian knot. When we were remodeling the house 30 years ago, she would tidy up every night when the contractors left. It didn't take them long to start taking their extension cords with them, because she would make on impossible tangle out of 3 or 4 hundred foot cords.
 
Only been married a year and still learning the ropes one of areas of contention is hobbies.

My hobbies are ridiculous and stupid and don't matter. I get for watching a uconn or vikings game regularly because it is a waste of time and doesn't matter. (Side note I'm up roughly 4k in the last 2 years on sports gambling so in a way my hobbies make us money)

Her hobbies are much more important and in her words actually matter. I've driven at least 80 hours in the last year to watch her walk a dog in a circle in hopes of winning a ribbon including an half of my annual vacation to drive to Colorado for the national speciality.

Which hobbies seem more "ridiculous" to you?
 
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Blue Blood said:
Her hobbies are much more important and in her words actually matter. I've driven at least 80 hours in the last year to watch her walk a dog in a circle in hopes of winning a ribbon including an half of my annual vacation to drive to Colorado for the national speciality.

Which hobbies seem more "ridiculous" to you?
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Litmus test for how seriously she takes hers. Does she laugh her way through Best in Show or get annoyed - bordering on violent - with you for turning it on?

 
Rico444 said:
I'd love to jump in with some funny quip about my wife, but I'll be honest: she puts up with more s#!t from me than I do with her, and it's not close. She's pretty low-maintenence, and I can be kind of hard to deal with when UConn or the Mets have a rough night.
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Copy that! My wife lets me golf and travel to far away college BB games in my Journey To 351 quest without a word of complaint.
And she stays away from me after a bad UCONN loss!

Concinved that I hit the jackpot with her.
 
Fishy said:
I am a Vikings' fan.

There is nothing on earth that is more ridiculous than an existence as a Viking fan.

She wins.
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I've met a Cubs fan that will give you an argument on this one.
 
UConnMike04 said:
I'm getting married in a month and this thread is both hilarious and scary.
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Dude, no worries. It will be great....

... for a while.
 
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UConnMike04 said:
I'm getting married in a month and this thread is both hilarious and scary.
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I may have to read this thread later in the weekend. My dad left when I was 2 so I'll have time.
 
HuskyHawk said:
Wow. Mine is the opposite. She called the credit union yesterday to check the car loan balance on a new car I got last August. $3500. She wanted to send them a check immediately to close it. She overpays the mortgage too. She pays the bills at least 2 weeks before they are due, electronically in most cases.
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You, Sir, are a very fortunate man!
 
Aside from the more routine annoyances, my wife is a very generous soul. Always there to help when I'm caught in a pinch, encouraging me to go to games, take trips.
Like many others here, I'm sure, I know I'm lucky but really enjoy the chance to spout off about some og the little things that make me crazy. Like always being wrong even though I'm always right.
 
Greathusky said:
Copy that! My wife lets me golf and travel to far away college BB games in my Journey To 351 quest without a word of complaint.
And she stays away from me after a bad UCONN loss!

Concinved that I hit the jackpot with her.
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The fact that you say she "let's" you do something means you certainly did NOT hit the jackpot, friend.
 
UConnMike04 said:
I'm getting married in a month and this thread is both hilarious and scary.
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Serious question, what does marriage mean to you? Social expectation? Religious union? Something else? Once you tie that knot at some point you will ask yourself why did I do this again? Lol you'll have to remember what marriage means to you.

Also please discuss expectations! From the uconn games, to taking the garbage out, to washing clothes, paying bills, how many kids, spankings or not, public or private school, keeping money together or separate, what happens to patents when they get older, when and where can you hang out, same for her, how often you expect to get laid, where your vacations will be, where you want to live, how big you want the house to be, how much you want to spend, religious beliefs (obvious) ect... the more you come to an understanding on before marriage the smoother once you are married.
 
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