OT: the Tao of Married life | Page 4 | The Boneyard

OT: the Tao of Married life

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mauconnfan said:
How about openly texting in front of your wife and basically getting the "Who are you texting?" question every freakin time? I'm texting in front of you honey I promise it's not my mistress for crying out loud!:eek:
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That's when you answer with, "my mistress".
 
intlzncster said:
That's when you answer with, "my mistress".
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Well I can't. But I'm still not the guy who checked with a lawyer despite what 8893 thinks he figured out.

But I do say "here check it out" once in a while.
 
chalk1 said:
Deepster should of had your divorce attorney. I lost everything I had built for 20 years and had to sell a good business so I could get a house after my home was handed to her. All came down at 50 so little time to recover, at a younger age I agree you can bounce back. I am not starving and I have the most precious thing my freedom. Also two great kids that are grown and have good jobs. Life is good and I smile a lot more.
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Congrats on clawing your way out of the lions cage.
 
Husky25 said:
These have been around a while, but they seem more than apt for this thread...

1. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.
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I have had a beard for about 45 of the 51 years we've been married. About once every month or two, my wife will tell me it needs trimming. She will also tell me that she has never liked my beard, and she wishes I would shave it off, "...after all, you didn't have it when we met, or I never would have dated you, and you're supposed to dress and groom yourself to please me, not yourself."

To which I invariably reply, "When we met, and when we got married, your hair was down to the middle of your back. I would never have asked you out if you had your hair cut that short." Of course the part about never asking her out is a lie, but I'm just trying to make a point.

She then follows up with, "Long hair is too much trouble to take care of, I don't have time to deal with that."

And I tell her that shaving every day is too much hassle, and I don't have time to deal with that, and anyway, she's supposed to groom herself to make me happy, and blah, blah, blah, because by this time, she has left the room angry.
 
My wife decided to take over the big TV Sunday morning just as the kids and I were about to watch Syracuse's loss highlights a few hundred times.

I said "What are you doing?"

She said "I need the TV for 1.5 hours to do my workout."

I said "what workout?" because it was news to me.

She said "21 Day Fix."

I said, "It won't work. Those gimmicks never do."

She called me an .

I said "See, it's not fixing anything already. It's actually making things worse."

She said "I do it for you, you know."

I said "I'd rather you tone up your arms and legs a little by doing laundry once and while."

It's in the basement. She never does it. And pretended like she did before we got married.

She still won't talk to me but we got the TV. The kids felt it was worth it too. Start'em young, raise'em right.
 
UconnFanNVa said:
It goes to teach a valuable lesson though. Truly pick your battles, because to prove your point you are going to have to suffer severely before/IF she see's the point you are trying to make. In most cases, take the hit, suffer in silence, internalize your pain! Drink alcohol, smoke cigars, listen to Charlie Parker or Stan Getz something when you can and let the irrational stuff fade away! If you dont have a drink or smoking habit i strongly suggest developing one.
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Exactly, hence the drive to nowhere, somewhere or anywhere ("but here"), it works. You may lose a lot of battles but hell its nice actually winning wars by not being there to fight.
 
Fishy said:
You really should be thrown out of your houses and into the street.
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Hell, no problem with that here. I happily throw myself out and jump into my car, with my tunes heading to . . . . . . . .
 
mauconnfan said:
How about openly texting in front of your wife and basically getting the "Who are you texting?" question every freakin time? I'm texting in front of you honey I promise it's not my mistress for crying out loud!:eek:
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Mine is sneaky/slick, texting in front of her gets an immediate kiss and a hug. Its like ringing a freakin bell. I rather be asked like you than to get a fake insincere hug and peck (I mean peek).
 
mauconnfan said:
How about openly texting in front of your wife and basically getting the "Who are you texting?" question every freakin time? I'm texting in front of you honey I promise it's not my mistress for crying out loud!:eek:
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Could be your avatar...!
 
If something is downstairs that my wife wants upstairs, she doesn't ask me to bring it upstairs, she puts it on the stairs. Like some damn test, if the test were also a tripping hazard.

We have a "junk drawer" in the kitchen. I cleaned it out a year ago, and now it's filled to the brim with again. God forbid I point out that I haven't put anything new in that drawer in the last year.
 
Stephen Hawking once said "Women. They are a complete mystery to me." This from the guy that wrote a book on "Time". So if he can't figure them out, what the hell kind of prayer do us average schmos have?
 
CTMike said:
If something is downstairs that my wife wants upstairs, she doesn't ask me to bring it upstairs, she puts it on the stairs. Like some damn test, if the test were also a tripping hazard.

We have a "junk drawer" in the kitchen. I cleaned it out a year ago, and now it's filled to the brim with again. God forbid I point out that I haven't put anything new in that drawer in the last year.
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look for the Everybody Loves Raymond "Baggage" (season 7, #22) episode when Raymond leaves his suitcase on the stairs after he returns from a road trip
 
I like reading these stories and hearing how others cope/survive/thrive. I have been married 23 years and have 3 kids (oldest daughter is a senior and in the UCMB).

At my wedding reception my father-in-law pulls me aside and begins to tell me the secrets to a happy marriage. Avoid conflict, yes dear, happy wife happy life, etc ... I politely told him I'd rather have a backbone and take my chances. I love the guy dearly ... but my mother-in-law walks all over him to the point that I now defend him when I believe he deserves the support. I am very glad I did not take his advice .... and my wife respects me for that!
 
This is not a basketball game like last night where a 3 point shot at the buzzer wins the game and confetti blankets the court. You just might make your double clutch 3 pointer in an argument, walking off with a smile on your face, only to find out later that the other team ended up with the trophy. The refs were on the take and called you for a push off foul........and you are lonely and cold on the couch.
 
jibsey said:
This is not a basketball game like last night where a 3 point shot at the buzzer wins the game and confetti blankets the court. You just might make your double clutch 3 pointer in an argument, walking off with a smile on your face, only to find out later that the other team ended up with the trophy. The refs were on the take and called you for a push off foul...and you are lonely and cold on the couch.
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I never sleep on the couch (or the guest room) because of an argument. She's always welcome to sleep in bed with me, if she doesn't want to sleep there with me that's fine, there's a nice bed in the guest bedroom. I'm inflexible about this. I seriously think I'd get a divorce over the issue. I probably need psychological help. :D
 
IMind said:
I never sleep on the couch (or the guest room) because of an argument. She's always welcome to sleep in bed with me, if she doesn't want to sleep there with me that's fine, there's a nice bed in the guest bedroom. I'm inflexible about this. I seriously think I'd get a divorce over the issue. I probably need psychological help. :D
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lol same here, we never sleep apart even when mad at each other. I tried going to the couch once at like 1am, she followed me and told me to move over LOL. We ended up going back to the bedroom to sleep (And for me to continue being mad at her).

I will protest by not engaging in the normal activities though(you know what i mean). However i usually realize that after 3 or 4 days the only one hurting from this is myself, and then i give in and go back to business as usual. smh
 
August_West said:
Straying from a food thread.

This just happened to me this afternoon running around doing errands.

My wife yells at me ( rightly so, it's dangerous) when I occasionally check text messages while driving. I'm pretty good about not doing it but I'm on call 24/7 for my job and sometimes need a glance .

Anyway, today my wife starts sending me all kinds of messages, which I don't answer (because I'm driving ) and then sent 5 follow ups berating me for not answering her. The rub there is she KNEW I was driving.
When I finally called her and explained my eureka moment of her female hypocrisy, she somehow stayed convinced that this case was different.

What things does your spouse do that make want you to check yourself into the puzzle factory?
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Buying multiple cans of tuna every week despite already having enough of them in our cellar to feed an army.
 
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