A golf day in the JSM's world:
After shooting 94 in his Sunday orange Puma wear, flat brimmed Puma hat he comes in swearing if he could putt he would've broken 70, but the greens sucked. He sits in the golf club bar and looks at the beers on tap. The bartender Joe asked "What can I get you to drink?" to which JSM says "Your beers on tap choice blows what do you have in bottles?" He finally settles for a Narragansett kinger and looks at the TV seeing Kisner is leading the tournament to which he says "Joe is he the most boring golfer ever or what? I mean I think we need to hope Ricky can start winning because he's great and in case you didn't notice I model my game around him. This is boring watching this guy and Hideki can we put this on the little TV over there and get the Yankee game on this 60 incher? I mean have you been watching Judge, God does he suck I want to see one more K so I can tell everyone just how pitiful he is?" Joe to JSM - "would you like a menu?" JSM "I'm hungry as hell but if you're food is anything like you're beer choices I'm afraid to order anything here most of it must suck" As he's sipping a beer he asks when they were going to fix the greens to which Joe replies "They have the Top greens in the state according to the PGA of America, easiest to make putts" JSM "well you need a new morning crew because today they sucked I mean I shot 94 and if the greens were good I would've been around 74 minimum" Joe laughs at him and walks to get his burger, when suddenly Aaron Judge strikes out looking on the big screen and immediately JSM grabs his napkin and heads to the men's room only to reappear 30 seconds later hungry as hell. His burger is waiting and he asks Joe to send it back because the cook doesn't know "what the hell medium is, this is rare and it's still walking get this back to the kitchen" After a couple major green hawkers from the cook, big slab of lettuce to cover it with another fresh tomato and a couple more minutes on the grill it comes back out perfect, medium. "Much more flavor this is the way I always like it..you know my beer has been empty for 1 minute and half already can I have another one?"
Leaves Joe 10% for the tip and say to Joe "I like you but I have to go by overall service and the food sucked and the beer choice was awful as were the greens. But you're a good guy I'll be back to keep you company soon!"
As he grabs his clubs outside and looks at the ranger he said, "Do you bring clubs to the car for me?" to which the ranger smiled and said no - JSM replied "Tell your pro this place sucks! Oh and have a good night"