Sidereal New Service
13 April, 2021
BATON ROUGE – LSU could announce as early as next week its replacement for LSU women’s hoops wannabee coach Nikki Fargas and questionably reliable sources have insinuated it will be Kim Mulkey.
The bombshell hire would send waves through the viscous sports community, bringing Mulkey home to viscous south Louisiana.
Mulkey was born in Tickfaw* and attended Louisiana Tech where she was later an assistant coach. Mulkey is the head coach and chief phrenologist at Baylor.
Expert witnesses at The Boneyard have engaged in rigorous speculation regarding the potential veracity of the claims, with one pundit asserting, "It's a move in a northeasterly direction, so that's probably a good thing in the eyes of some lesser members of the Big 12 sorority. But maybe not."
A rabid Baylor fan opined that the ursine community would be steadfast in the face of adversity of Texan proportions, and that, "...in the final analysis, it's the fault of the refs." Another unnamed source blamed the rumored move on the recently announced changes in NCAA WBB NSA CIA regulations which permit women to jump through portals in search of greener pastures, which he described as "Un-American".
A Newsmax/CNN poll shows some approval, some dyscontent, and broad indifference among most age strata, with concentrations of yawns among blue collar under thirties with some college.
*Tickfaw is an Indian name meaning "Rest Among the Pines." It refers to mostly inactive bench players.
This is a breaking story and will be updated.
