Worst movies ever

[Deadrody]

First Blood was a well made film, and one of the most successful films ever made, financially speaking. Maybe Stallone's best after Rocky. What was bad about First Blood was all the pure garbage Rambo sequels it spawned.

Yeah, I wasn't sure why First Blood suddenly showed up. One of my favorite 80s movies of all time. I would sit down and watch that start to finish right now.

 

[tzznandrew]

How about anything directed by Uwe Boll? I've only seen Bloodrayne and In the Name of the King. Both turds.

Wow, I had to look him up, he's made a ton of movies. Including multiple sequels to his own terrible films. Who is funding him to continue making movies? Can't believe any studio would still be backing him.

A friend and I like to watch really bad movies, or, alternatively, Charles Bronson movies. They very often overlap.

But we fired up Uwe Boll's Bluberella and regretted it almost immediately. We couldn't even make it through 20 minutes. And we've watch some really bad movies.

 

[NCHusky91]

Ocean's 12, I'm not cool enough to get it.

 

[Mr. Wonderful]

Horrific. Good call.

My wife and I saw a doozy last night.

The kid had a friend sleepover, so I lost my den for the night. Wife wanted to watch a movie and there was absolutely nothing appealing so we opted for Apple's 99-cent movie of the week, The Shack.

I realize now that it is a Christian movie - that is not my thing, but no judgements there.

The movie was horribly written, brutally directed, acting was abysmal and the editing horrendous.

Sam Worthington forgot to hide his accent for short stretches of the movie.

At one point, his family is on the phone and they are talking about driving home to him in a snowstorm and he tells them not to because he "has never seen it this bad out." And then he goes outside and there is about 2" of snow on the ground after the storm. All right.

Later, in the snowy woods, he runs into an easy going guy of Middle-Eastern descent carrying some firewood who turns out to be Jesus. Jesus tells him, hey, come with me, we have a fire going...

So he follows Jesus and when they get to the shack, the shack isn't in the snowy woods...it is miraculously and intentionally in the middle of a lush, green summer forest. And there is no fire going because it's summer there...so why was Jesus gathering firewood? Because the movie is stupid.

For the record, Jesus was Middle Eastern. God was an African-American woman for a while until she became a Native American man. There is also a young Asian woman with them in the shack, but I couldn't tell if she was Mary or if she just checked another minority box.

Honestly, I need some of you to go see it so we can talk about it. There is a scene where Sam Worthington races Jesus across a lake that really should end Worthington's career.

My wife made me watch this. After the water race scene I made some excuse about bowel problems so I wouldn't have to suffer through the rest.

It's tough to think of another movie that so relentlessly insults your intelligence (What the Bleep Do We Know? maybe).

It has only the vaguest semblance of a plot... After discovering the shack, it just quickly devolves into mind-numbing sermons amounting to boring and tired Christian apologetics. It's not just bad, it's actively annoying, like nails on a chalk board. They succeeded in making God supremely unlikeable.

 

[8893]

My wife and I saw a doozy last night.

The kid had a friend sleepover, so I lost my den for the night. Wife wanted to watch a movie and there was absolutely nothing appealing so we opted for Apple's 99-cent movie of the week, The Shack.

I realize now that it is a Christian movie - that is not my thing, but no judgements there.

The movie was horribly written, brutally directed, acting was abysmal and the editing horrendous.

Sam Worthington forgot to hide his accent for short stretches of the movie.

At one point, his family is on the phone and they are talking about driving home to him in a snowstorm and he tells them not to because he "has never seen it this bad out." And then he goes outside and there is about 2" of snow on the ground after the storm. All right.

Later, in the snowy woods, he runs into an easy going guy of Middle-Eastern descent carrying some firewood who turns out to be Jesus. Jesus tells him, hey, come with me, we have a fire going...

So he follows Jesus and when they get to the shack, the shack isn't in the snowy woods...it is miraculously and intentionally in the middle of a lush, green summer forest. And there is no fire going because it's summer there...so why was Jesus gathering firewood? Because the movie is stupid.

For the record, Jesus was Middle Eastern. God was an African-American woman for a while until she became a Native American man. There is also a young Asian woman with them in the shack, but I couldn't tell if she was Mary or if she just checked another minority box.

Honestly, I need some of you to go see it so we can talk about it. There is a scene where Sam Worthington races Jesus across a lake that really should end Worthington's career.

My wife made me watch this. After the water race scene I made some excuse about bowel problems so I wouldn't have to suffer through the rest.

It's tough to think of another movie that so relentlessly insults your intelligence (What the Bleep Do We Know? maybe).

It has only the vaguest semblance of a plot... After discovering the shack, it just quickly devolves into mind-numbing sermons amounting to boring and tired Christian apologetics. It's not just bad, it's actively annoying, like nails on a chalk board. They succeeded in making God supremely unlikeable.

That's a shame because I enjoyed the book and thought it could have made for a good movie.

 

[cohenzone]

I'm sure I'll get pushback on this, but my criteria here is something that was allegedly good - Oscar nominated - in actuality it was horrible

Chariots of Fire - only time I've ever fallen asleep in a movie theater. Good lord.

You’re excused. Not about Chariots specifically, but I hated American Beauty, Academy Award and all. I know, great acting, but every character was such a miserable person including the kids that I wanted them all to kill themselves and spare us their misery.

My candidate, at least in recent history for bad movies is Beatriz at Dinner that my wife rented. First of all, any movie that can make Salma Hayek look a bit less than gorgeous has one strike against it. But it’s a stupid movie with an even dumber ending.

 

[Mano]

I tend to try and avoid most movies that look like stinkers and to this day I've only ever walked out on one movie. That movie? Nacho Libre

 

[storrsroars]

I had a horrible stomach ailment this week so spend a couple of days on the couch. Watched all three Weller Robocops. I saw the first years ago, but not 2 or 3. My lord, those were wretched.

 

[whaler11]

Still gotta watch the Shack - but I stumbled upon a movie last night I remember liking when it came out.

The Doors. It’s a couple hours that now I see just makes you want to punch Val Kilmer in the face.

 

[Waquoit]

The Doors. It’s a couple hours that now I see just makes you want to punch Val Kilmer in the face.

Coincidentally, this movie came up during our post-game festivities Saturday. Guy called it a must watch and said Kilmer was great. I never saw it but I think my impression would be closer to yours.

 

[Husky25]

The movie drags a little in some parts, but I think Val Kilmer crushed it as far as acting. It's been said that he had a hard time extracting himself from the part.

 

[8893]

The movie drags a little in some parts, but I think Val Kilmer crushed it as far as acting. It's been said that he had a hard time extracting himself from the part.

I remember thinking it was incredible at the time, but now I'd probably like to punch Jim Morrison in the face, too. The Doors haven't aged as well for me as a lot of the other music I loved from that era.

 

[J187Money]

I tend to try and avoid most movies that look like stinkers and to this day I've only ever walked out on one movie. That movie? Nacho Libre

I have only walked out on one movie as well. Three Amigos.

 

[nelsonmuntz]

I remember thinking it was incredible at the time, but now I'd probably like to punch Jim Morrison in the face, too. The Doors haven't aged as well for me as a lot of the other music I loved from that era.

Agree 100%. I thought the Doors were awesome when I was in high school, but now they seem like pretentious poseurs. I liked the movie well enough, and thought Kilmer was excellent as he was in everything he did at that point in his career.

 

[HuskyHawk]

I remember thinking it was incredible at the time, but now I'd probably like to punch Jim Morrison in the face, too. The Doors haven't aged as well for me as a lot of the other music I loved from that era.

Bingo. I think Kilmer nailed it. I just think Morrison was such a person. The one major band I have never liked. So depressing.

 

[8893]

I felt a little guilty about savaging Jim Morrison and the Doors yesterday, because I remember there were a lot of things I liked about the movie at the time, and their music was kind of an important rite of passage for me. Foremost in my mind was the "Soft Parade" scene, as well as that song. As luck would have it, it came on Deep Tracks during my drive in this morning. I was tempted to change the station, but I decided to listen to it critically and see if I could still appreciate it.

I concluded that that song is basically everything you need to know or hear from Jim Morrison and the Doors, as it captures pretty much every element of what made them good, as well as what made them cringe-worthy.

But I also felt that it was important to remember that Morrison never got to grow old gracefully and age with his wisdom, poseur or not. Yeah, to a certain extent his legacy also benefits from being frozen at age 27 (like Janis, Jimi, Kurt, etc.), but he was clearly exploring the boundaries like a lot of youths, without the benefit of coming out the other end.

 

[Mr. Wonderful]

I felt a little guilty about savaging Jim Morrison and the Doors yesterday, because I remember there were a lot of things I liked about the movie at the time, and their music was kind of an important rite of passage for me. Foremost in my mind was the "Soft Parade" scene, as well as that song. As luck would have it, it came on Deep Tracks during my drive in this morning. I was tempted to change the station, but I decided to listen to it critically and see if I could still appreciate it.

I concluded that that song is basically everything you need to know or hear from Jim Morrison and the Doors, as it captures pretty much every element of what made them good, as well as what made them cringe-worthy.

But I also felt that it was important to remember that Morrison never got to grow old gracefully and age with his wisdom, poseur or not. Yeah, to a certain extent his legacy also benefits from being frozen at age 27 (like Janis, Jimi, Kurt, etc.), but he was clearly exploring the boundaries like a lot of youths, without the benefit of coming out the other end.

Jim Morrison's whole stage persona was a deliberate contrived rebellion against his father and everything his father stood for and represented.

His father was none other than Rear Admiral George S. Morrison, commander of the naval fleet at the Gulf of Tonkin. Whether you believe the official story about the Gulf Incedent or not, being the son of the man who played such a central role in getting the U.S. involved in Vietnam weighed heavy on him. He disowned his father (for a long time he claimed to be an orphan, only his other bandmates knew the truth) and actively lived his life as opposite in philosophy and behavior from his father as he could. He became the living, breathing essence of the undisciplined, rebellious rejection of authority and the establishment. I can see why people see him as a poser now, but in the context of his life, he had reasons for it.

 

[8893]

Jim Morrison's whole stage persona was a deliberate contrived rebellion against his father and everything his father stood for and represented.

His father was none other than Rear Admiral George S. Morrison, commander of the naval fleet at the Gulf of Tonkin. Whether you believe the official story about the Gulf Incedent or not, being the son of the man who played such a central role in getting the U.S. involved in Vietnam weighed heavy on him. He disowned his father (for a long time he claimed to be an orphan, only his other bandmates knew the truth) and actively lived his life as opposite in philosophy and behavior from his father as he could. He became the living, breathing essence of the undisciplined, rebellious rejection of authority and the establishment. I can see why people see him as a poser now, but in the context of his life, he had reasons for it.

Thank you for that background. I didn't know that. Very interesting.

 

[Mr. Wonderful]

Thank you for that background. I didn't know that. Very interesting.

As for the music, Ray Manzarek is on the short list of best keyboard players of the era, and Robbie Krieger had some chops. Jim Morrison is overrated as a lyricist, but his distinctive, often wild baritone is similarly underrated. Overall, they are a somewhat dated product of their time, and were likely on their way out when Morrison died anyway.

Could you imagine what a 70s era Doors would've sounded like? The thought makes me shudder...

 

[HuskyHawk]

As for the music, Ray Manzarek is on the short list of best keyboard players of the era, and Robbie Krieger had some chops. Jim Morrison is overrated as a lyricist, but his distinctive, often wild baritone is similarly underrated. Overall, they are a somewhat dated product of their time, and were likely on their way out when Morrison died anyway.

Could you imagine what a 70s era Doors would've sounded like? The thought makes me shudder...

This nails it for me. Yet they got heavy airplay through the 70's, even into the early 80's. Dated product of their time says it all really.

 

[HuskyHawk]

Back to bad movies, from our retrospective on the Doors, and I offer up: Scary Movie 2. Walked out of that one.

 

[Husky25]

Back to bad movies, from our retrospective on the Doors, and I offer up: Scary Movie 2. Walked out of that one.

$14 for a horror spoof sequel. Why in the world would you watch that in the theater?

 

[HuskyHawk]

$14 for a horror spoof sequel. Why in the world would you watch that in the theater?

My recollection is that it was a date night, and we were in Boston/Newton. The movie we wanted to see was sold out and this one wasn't. It was a smaller cinema near BC.

 

[Waquoit]

Overall, they are a somewhat dated product of their time, and were likely on their way out when Morrison died anyway.

Not musically, I'll argue. Their last album had L.A. Woman, Love Her Madly and Riders on The Storm. That's pretty strong for being on your way out.

 

[nwhoopfan]

I have only walked out on one movie as well. Three Amigos.

I actually like that movie. I didn't see it in a theater, but on TV or DVD it's a bit of goofy fun.