Worst movies ever | Page 3 | The Boneyard

Worst movies ever

nelsonmuntz said:
I am willing to give bad movies that made no pretensions about being good a pass. The ones that I hate are the ones that take themselves seriously and still suck. The Master is one of those.
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I went into The Master with high hopes and was utterly disappointed. On second viewing, I found it absolutely hilarious. The comedy was unintentional but did not detract from my experience.
 
huskyrob1 said:
The remake of the John Ford classic "The Hurricane". The remake stared Timothy Bottoms and Mia Farrow, it gets my vote as number 1. Shot on location in the South Pacific, great director, and a great cast so you would think, right? Wrong!!! One of the truly great motion picture disasters of all time.
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I just watched The Hurricane and thought it was pretty good. But I've always like Denzel so I am biased. :cool:
 
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While I didn't choose it, wife did, The Family Stone was one of the worse movies I ever saw. It has a pretty well known cast / Dian we Keaton, Rachael McAdams, Etc. & while I thought it wouldn't be great, it'd at least be watchable, maybe mildly amusing. Instead it was loathsome from start to finish / I mean it was unpleasant throughout getting worse & worse with every scene.
 
Taco said:
While I didn't choose it, wife did, The Family Stone was one of the worse movies I ever saw. It has a pretty well known cast / Dian we Keaton, Rachael McAdams, Etc. & while I thought it wouldn't be great, it'd at least be watchable, maybe mildly amusing. Instead it was loathsome from start to finish / I mean it was unpleasant throughout getting worse & worse with every scene.
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That is a great call. That movie was so bad it made me angry.
 
Husky25 said:
The Postman.
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Nah. I've watched it a handful of times. It's certainly flawed, but...
1) the first third of the movie is actually pretty good.
2) Olivia Williams boobage.
3) Tom Petty as the Mayor of the Dam.
4) Will Patton's villain role was well executed.

Biggest problem with The Postman was editing. Easily an hour too long.
 
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

That movie was so bad I was angry at the end of it.
 
nelsonmuntz said:
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

That movie was so bad I was angry at the end of it.
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Horrific. Good call.

My wife and I saw a doozy last night.

The kid had a friend sleepover, so I lost my den for the night. Wife wanted to watch a movie and there was absolutely nothing appealing so we opted for Apple's 99-cent movie of the week, The Shack.

I realize now that it is a Christian movie - that is not my thing, but no judgements there.

The movie was horribly written, brutally directed, acting was abysmal and the editing horrendous.

Sam Worthington forgot to hide his accent for short stretches of the movie.

At one point, his family is on the phone and they are talking about driving home to him in a snowstorm and he tells them not to because he "has never seen it this bad out." And then he goes outside and there is about 2" of snow on the ground after the storm. All right.

Later, in the snowy woods, he runs into an easy going guy of Middle-Eastern descent carrying some firewood who turns out to be Jesus. Jesus tells him, hey, come with me, we have a fire going...

So he follows Jesus and when they get to the shack, the shack isn't in the snowy woods...it is miraculously and intentionally in the middle of a lush, green summer forest. And there is no fire going because it's summer there...so why was Jesus gathering firewood? Because the movie is stupid.

For the record, Jesus was Middle Eastern. God was an African-American woman for a while until she became a Native American man. There is also a young Asian woman with them in the shack, but I couldn't tell if she was Mary or if she just checked another minority box.

Honestly, I need some of you to go see it so we can talk about it. There is a scene where Sam Worthington races Jesus across a lake that really should end Worthington's career.
 
Fishy said:
Horrific. Good call.

My wife and I saw a doozy last night.

The kid had a friend sleepover, so I lost my den for the night. Wife wanted to watch a movie and there was absolutely nothing appealing so we opted for Apple's 99-cent movie of the week, The Shack.

I realize now that it is a Christian movie - that is not my thing, but no judgements there.

The movie was horribly written, brutally directed, acting was abysmal and the editing horrendous.

Sam Worthington forgot to hide his accent for short stretches of the movie.

At one point, his family is on the phone and they are talking about driving home to him in a snowstorm and he tells them not to because he "has never seen it this bad out." And then he goes outside and there is about 2" of snow on the ground after the storm. All right.

Later, in the snowy woods, he runs into an easy going guy of Middle-Eastern descent carrying some firewood who turns out to be Jesus. Jesus tells him, hey, come with me, we have a fire going...

So he follows Jesus and when they get to the shack, the shack isn't in the snowy woods...it is miraculously and intentionally in the middle of a lush, green summer forest. And there is no fire going because it's summer there...so why was Jesus gathering firewood? Because the movie is stupid.

For the record, Jesus was Middle Eastern. God was an African-American woman for a while until she became a Native American man. There is also a young Asian woman with them in the shack, but I couldn't tell if she was Mary or if she just checked another minority box.

Honestly, I need some of you to go see it so we can talk about it. There is a scene where Sam Worthington races Jesus across a lake that really should end Worthington's career.
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Agreed the movie was poorly written and the acting wasn't that great, but it did do very very well at the box office. Critics panned it, and Christian theologians attacked it for portraying God the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit as three different people Worthington meets. What I want to know is what happened to the Ghost of Christmas past?
 
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Got a nominee. Not that I was expecting much, but it was worse than I imagined--Baywatch. Tone deaf, couldn't quite decide what it was trying to be. Comedy? Serious action film? Odd couple/buddy cop flick? It had consistently foul language for no apparent reason and also had some lingering full frontal male nudity for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Definitely tons of objectification, but it was equal opportunity, so I guess that makes it okay. Would not be approved by the PC police.
 
Any remake of a 1980's cult classic. Looking, not in the general direction, but right at Point Break, Total Recall, and Red Dawn.

Red Dawn was particularly cringeworthy. Couldn't last more than 20 minutes.

Not entirely unrelated, there is/are a (few) reason(s) Road House 2 gets almost no airtime or mention in any of these threads.
 
Husky25 said:
Point Break, Total Recall, and Red Dawn
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No RoboCop?

I certainly enjoyed those 80's movies growing up...but upon looking back they're pretty cheesy. The 80's was all about cheesy. The remakes skip the cheesiness. I know nobody likes to have their icons messed with. I thought most of the remakes were only guilty of being mediocre and unnecessary films, not all time worse (except Red Dawn, that was pretty bad).
 
nwhoopfan said:
No RoboCop?

I certainly enjoyed those 80's movies growing up...but upon looking back they're pretty cheesy. The 80's was all about cheesy. The remakes skip the cheesiness. I know nobody likes to have their icons messed with. I thought most of the remakes were only guilty of being mediocre and unnecessary films, not all time worse (except Red Dawn, that was pretty bad).
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Forgot Robocop. That's on me.

They are bad particularly because they are unnecessary, but also the eighties versions were enjoyable because of the cheesiness. The remakes had a slim to zero shot at capturing any of that quality that made the originals any fun to begin with.
 
Husky25 said:
Forgot Robocop. That's on me.

They are bad particularly because they are unnecessary, but also the eighties versions were enjoyable because of the cheesiness. The remakes had a slim to zero shot at capturing any of that quality that made the originals any fun to begin with.
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Incredibly political as well.

Here's another: First Blood.
 
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A few more to add to the turd pile:

Storks - animated movie I watched with the kids. Terrible writing + screechy, loud voice actors = storks.

Good Luck Chuck - this was the movie that put the exclamation point after "Dane cook is an unfunny, unlikable, gimmicky hack"

Superstar - imagine taking the worst recurring SNL slot ever, stretching it to 90 minutes.... and then adding Tom Green.
 
Bateman Returns, Batman Forever ... or generally all of the Batman movies without Jack Nicholson or Christian Bale - You could tell me that these movies could have been produced, written, directed and acted by neighborhood kids and I still would not believe how bad the product turned out to be.
 
How about anything directed by Uwe Boll? I've only seen Bloodrayne and In the Name of the King. Both turds.

Wow, I had to look him up, he's made a ton of movies. Including multiple sequels to his own terrible films. Who is funding him to continue making movies? Can't believe any studio would still be backing him.
 
meyers7 said:
I actually did fall asleep with my daughter. Wouldn't dare do that with the boys...they'd be gone. :rolleyes:
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That's what leashes are for.
 
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J187Money said:
I watched last night on YouTube - I've been told that watching it BEFORE you see The Disaster Artist really helps you get it.

Holy *%&% it was bad.
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Seeing it tomorrow night. Looking forward to the splendor of its awfulness.
 
huskyrob1 said:
The Conqueror - 1956 starring John Wayne as Genghis Kahn.
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I've seen The Conqueror a couple times, and it is indeed pretty bad. John Wayne was in a bunch of excellent movies, particularly if they were directed by either John Ford or Howard Hawks. In those movies he was generally a great screen presence and exhibited a natural charm. As an actor he knew what to do when the camera was on him. None of these qualities that John Wayne had are all that apparent in The Conqueror, which very well might be the worst movie he was ever in.

The Conqueror is also well known for the cancer controversy that surrounds it. Out of a cast and crew of 22o, 91 developed cancer at some point following the completion of the film, including Wayne himself. The exterior scenes were filmed in the mid 1950's, downwind and not to far from a nuclear test site in Utah. While an actual association hasn't been proven, it is a controversy that dogs the film to this day.
 
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dbmill said:
I've seen The Conqueror a couple times, and it is indeed pretty bad. John Wayne was in a bunch of excellent movies, particularly if they were directed by either John Ford or Howard Hawks. In those movies he was generally a great screen presence and exhibited a natural charm. As an actor he knew what to do when the camera was on him. None of these qualities that John Wayne had are all that apparent in The Conqueror, which very well might be the worst movie he was ever in.

The Conqueror is also well known for the cancer controversy that surrounds it. Out of a cast and crew of 22o, 91 developed cancer at some point following the completion of the film, including Wayne himself. The exterior scenes were filmed in the mid 1950's, downwind and not to far from a nuclear test site in Utah. While an actual association hasn't been proven, it is a controversy that dogs the film to this day.
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ALL of the major stars in the film died of cancer some at relatively young ages...Wayne, Susan Hayward died of a brain tumor at age 57, both Pedro Armendariz and Dick Powell died of cancer in 1963, seven years after the film was made. Agnes Moorehead died in 1974 of uterine cancer, and character actor John Hoyt died of lung cancer but like Wayne was diagnosed years before his death, in the early 60's. The statistical evidence is overwhelming. Of the 220 people who worked on the film 91 developed cancer, some being rare forms of the disease, and 46 died, many just a few years after the movie was made. Almost as bad as the location filming was for exposure to the fallout, was the fact that the Production company trucked tons and tons of the desert dirt they filmed on back to Hollywood and used it for the scenes shot on sound stages and on the back lot, so the ground looked the same whether in the location shots or on the Hollywood sets. No telling how many RADS those people were exposed to, but I'm sure some more than others. The movie was a disaster on many levels.
 
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huskyrob1 said:
The Conqueror - 1956 starring John Wayne as Genghis Kahn.
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Never saw it. But I remember reading that there are scenes where you can clearly see Genghis wearing a watch.
 
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