Superintendent: "Hello, Mr M, I have fantastic news!!! Your daughter is officially our valedictorian!!!"
@JSM1970 : Yeah, well, I have met many of her classmates. They're es and being a public school she'll never get an Ivy League acceptance.
++++++
Chaplain: "Do you, dear, take this man to be your husband?"
Soon-to-be Mrs. M: "Oh, I do!!!"
Chaplain: And do you
@JSM1970 take this woman to be be your wife?"
@JSM1970 : "Uh, I guess. I wanted her sister but since she died..."
+++++++
Kid: "Dad, the dentist said my teef are great. No cavities!!"
@JSM1970 : "whatevs. I see the way you pound thos Sour PAtch Kids. Your teeth WILL rot out of your head. Just a matter of time."
Kid: But he said my enamels are like rock!"
@JSM1970 :" STFU, son. I see what I see."