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superjohn said:
I thought the same exact thing. August West is supposed to be a foodie, sounds like he goes to town on the whole Cracker Barrel menu.
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Have you seen my gut since I hit my 40's? I can find redeeming qualities in every rest. In the state from McDonald's to L'Orcio

Edit to add: except Turkey
 
And fishy pick up some cheer wine in general store.
 
I've been to Cracker Barrel maybe 2-3 times in my life both times in new Tampa Florida area. They had some kind of grilled chicken fingers meal that was pretty good and probably the safest option.

Next time PM me Fish and I'll give you some good recommendations. My friend owns a restaurant in Scarsdale and will take care of you.
 
I can only speak to their breakfast, the grits were inedible and the biscuits and gravy were as bad as it gets, stick to eggs and bacon if you ever go the breakfast route.
 
It's done.

Observations:

1) The place was packed. If you can't see an old person right now, it's because they're all at Cracker Barrel.
2) Dinner for two and tip was under $35. I saved the receipt for posterity.
3) You think you've seen bravery? I saw a man order seafood at a Cracker Barrel. It was like sitting next to Neil Armstrong.
4) If you want to pick up women, head to the 'Barrel. I saw two women fall down in the shop.

What a crazy place. You walk in and the front "porch" is lined with rocking chairs that you can buy. Then you go inside and it's a little souvenir store - I could have bought a Christmas tree, a three-pound Snickers bar and an Army football hoodie before I even got seated.

Then you go into the restaurant part and it is a slice of some small town in Alabama. Or at least what I imagine a small town in Alabama would be like.

Old people lined every table. They were everywhere. It was Cocoon. I saw Wilfred Brimley's ghost. (Is he dead?) Every second, a Buick LeSabre pulled up and disgorged another load of cotton-tops. The typical table of four was three old women and one old man who had outlived his competition and now had his choice of very slow-moving booty.

As an experience in people-watching, it was wonderful theater. I'm dying to bring my daughter who would find the whole thing mesmerizing. I am less excited to bring my wife who would never stop commenting about the prevailing smell of butter. (Right now, I smell like butter.)

The food is basically bad wedding food. I had a grilled chicken breast which served as a prop for me to push around the plate. I was not given any mini-syrup bottles that I could have stolen for uchusky, but I imagine that I could have asked for syrup and no one have batted an eye. They don't judge you at Cracker Barrel.

The other guy ordered haddock. Seafood! At the 'Barrel! And he ate it. He is a man who gives danger the finger. I admire him.

Someone near us ordered breakfast. It was massive. Pancakes and ark-like variety of animal meats. Go for the pancakes, stay for the coronary.

Best of all, you are in and you are out within 35 minutes. They need your table for some old people who do not have time to waste waiting for it.

Everyone should go to the Cracker Barrel. You will leave a better person.
 
Fishy said:
It's done. Observations: 1) The place was packed. If you can't seen an old person right now, it's because they're all at Cracker Barrel. 2) Dinner for two and tip was under $35. I saved the receipt for posterity. 3) You think you've seen bravery? I saw a man order seafood at a Cracker Barrel. It was like sitting next to Neil Armstrong. 4) If you want to pick up women, head to the 'Barrel. I saw two women fall down in the shop. What a crazy place. You walk in and the front "porch" is lined with rocking chairs that you can buy. Then you go inside and it's a little souvenir store - I could have bought a Christmas tree, a three-pound Snickers bar and an Army football hoodie before I even got seated. Then you go into the restaurant part and it is a slice of some small town in Alabama. Or at least what I imagine a small town in Alabama would be like. Old people lined every table. They were everywhere. It was Cocoon. I saw Wilfred Brimley's ghost. (Is he dead?) Every second, a Buick LeSabre pulled up and disgorged another load of cotton-tops. The typical table of four was three old women and one old man who had outlived his competition and now had his choice of very slow-moving booty. As an experience in people-watching, it was wonderful theater. I'm dying to bring my daughter who would find the whole thing mesmerizing. I am less excited to bring my wife who would never stop commenting about the prevailing smell of butter. (Right now, I smell like butter.) The food is basically bad wedding food. I had a grilled chicken breast which served as a prop for me to push around the plate. I was not given any mini-syrup bottles that I could have stolen for uchusky, but I imagine that I could have asked for syrup and no one have batted an eye. They don't judge you at Cracker Barrel. The other guy ordered haddock. Seafood! At the 'Barrel! And he ate it. He is a man who gives danger the finger. I admire him. Someone near us ordered breakfast. It was massive. Pancakes and ark-like variety of animal meats. Go for the pancakes, stay for the coronary. Yes of all, you are in and you are out within 35 minutes. They need your table for some old people who do not have time to waste waiting for it. Everyone should go to the Cracker Barrel. You will leave a better person.
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You missed the full experience by not playing checkers in the rocking chairs. Make sure to do that when you bring your daughter.
 
Fishy said:
It's done.

Observations:

1) The place was packed. If you can't seen an old person right now, it's because they're all at Cracker Barrel.
2) Dinner for two and tip was under $35. I saved the receipt for posterity.
3) You think you've seen bravery? I saw a man order seafood at a Cracker Barrel. It was like sitting next to Neil Armstrong.
4) If you want to pick up women, head to the 'Barrel. I saw two women fall down in the shop.

What a crazy place. You walk in and the front "porch" is lined with rocking chairs that you can buy. Then you go inside and it's a little souvenir store - I could have bought a Christmas tree, a three-pound Snickers bar and an Army football hoodie before I even got seated.

Then you go into the restaurant part and it is a slice of some small town in Alabama. Or at least what I imagine a small town in Alabama would be like.

Old people lined every table. They were everywhere. It was Cocoon. I saw Wilfred Brimley's ghost. (Is he dead?) Every second, a Buick LeSabre pulled up and disgorged another load of cotton-tops. The typical table of four was three old women and one old man who had outlived his competition and now had his choice of very slow-moving booty.

As an experience in people-watching, it was wonderful theater. I'm dying to bring my daughter who would find the whole thing mesmerizing. I am less excited to bring my wife who would never stop commenting about the prevailing smell of butter. (Right now, I smell like butter.)

The food is basically bad wedding food. I had a grilled chicken breast which served as a prop for me to push around the plate. I was not given any mini-syrup bottles that I could have stolen for uchusky, but I imagine that I could have asked for syrup and no one have batted an eye. They don't judge you at Cracker Barrel.

The other guy ordered haddock. Seafood! At the 'Barrel! And he ate it. He is a man who gives danger the finger. I admire him.

Someone near us ordered breakfast. It was massive. Pancakes and ark-like variety of animal meats. Go for the pancakes, stay for the coronary.

Yes of all, you are in and you are out within 35 minutes. They need your table for some old people who do not have time to waste waiting for it.

Everyone should go to the Cracker Barrel. You will leave a better person.
Expand ...
Beyond his (potentially Pandoran) bravery, how would you describe your date?
 
Fishy said:
It's done.

Observations:

1) The place was packed. If you can't seen an old person right now, it's because they're all at Cracker Barrel.
2) Dinner for two and tip was under $35. I saved the receipt for posterity.
3) You think you've seen bravery? I saw a man order seafood at a Cracker Barrel. It was like sitting next to Neil Armstrong.
4) If you want to pick up women, head to the 'Barrel. I saw two women fall down in the shop.

What a crazy place. You walk in and the front "porch" is lined with rocking chairs that you can buy. Then you go inside and it's a little souvenir store - I could have bought a Christmas tree, a three-pound Snickers bar and an Army football hoodie before I even got seated.

Then you go into the restaurant part and it is a slice of some small town in Alabama. Or at least what I imagine a small town in Alabama would be like.

Old people lined every table. They were everywhere. It was Cocoon. I saw Wilfred Brimley's ghost. (Is he dead?) Every second, a Buick LeSabre pulled up and disgorged another load of cotton-tops. The typical table of four was three old women and one old man who had outlived his competition and now had his choice of very slow-moving booty.

As an experience in people-watching, it was wonderful theater. I'm dying to bring my daughter who would find the whole thing mesmerizing. I am less excited to bring my wife who would never stop commenting about the prevailing smell of butter. (Right now, I smell like butter.)

The food is basically bad wedding food. I had a grilled chicken breast which served as a prop for me to push around the plate. I was not given any mini-syrup bottles that I could have stolen for uchusky, but I imagine that I could have asked for syrup and no one have batted an eye. They don't judge you at Cracker Barrel.

The other guy ordered haddock. Seafood! At the 'Barrel! And he ate it. He is a man who gives danger the finger. I admire him.

Someone near us ordered breakfast. It was massive. Pancakes and ark-like variety of animal meats. Go for the pancakes, stay for the coronary.

Yes of all, you are in and you are out within 35 minutes. They need your table for some old people who do not have time to waste waiting for it.

Everyone should go to the Cracker Barrel. You will leave a better person.
Expand ...
This was on point, duck*ing hilarious. It is such a strange place, every American stereotype slammed into one giant wooden rest home filled with artificial Americana nostalgia. You went to the one in Westchester, imagine what they are like in some non-Westchester parts of the country. Please tell me you've been to a Waffle House or an Omelette Shoppe.
 
superjohn said:
This was on point, duck*ing hilarious. It is such a strange place, every American stereotype slammed into one giant wooden rest home filled with artificial Americana nostalgia. You went to the one in Westchester, imagine what they are like in some non-Westchester parts of the country. Please tell me you've been to a Waffle House or an Omelette Shoppe.
Expand ...
Would love to read a Fishy play-by-play of a Country Kitchen Buffet or some variant of it.
 
Fishy said:
It's done.

Observations:

1) The place was packed. If you can't seen an old person right now, it's because they're all at Cracker Barrel.
2) Dinner for two and tip was under $35. I saved the receipt for posterity.
3) You think you've seen bravery? I saw a man order seafood at a Cracker Barrel. It was like sitting next to Neil Armstrong.
4) If you want to pick up women, head to the 'Barrel. I saw two women fall down in the shop.

What a crazy place. You walk in and the front "porch" is lined with rocking chairs that you can buy. Then you go inside and it's a little souvenir store - I could have bought a Christmas tree, a three-pound Snickers bar and an Army football hoodie before I even got seated.

Then you go into the restaurant part and it is a slice of some small town in Alabama. Or at least what I imagine a small town in Alabama would be like.

Old people lined every table. They were everywhere. It was Cocoon. I saw Wilfred Brimley's ghost. (Is he dead?) Every second, a Buick LeSabre pulled up and disgorged another load of cotton-tops. The typical table of four was three old women and one old man who had outlived his competition and now had his choice of very slow-moving booty.

As an experience in people-watching, it was wonderful theater. I'm dying to bring my daughter who would find the whole thing mesmerizing. I am less excited to bring my wife who would never stop commenting about the prevailing smell of butter. (Right now, I smell like butter.)

The food is basically bad wedding food. I had a grilled chicken breast which served as a prop for me to push around the plate. I was not given any mini-syrup bottles that I could have stolen for uchusky, but I imagine that I could have asked for syrup and no one have batted an eye. They don't judge you at Cracker Barrel.

The other guy ordered haddock. Seafood! At the 'Barrel! And he ate it. He is a man who gives danger the finger. I admire him.

Someone near us ordered breakfast. It was massive. Pancakes and ark-like variety of animal meats. Go for the pancakes, stay for the coronary.

Best of all, you are in and you are out within 35 minutes. They need your table for some old people who do not have time to waste waiting for it.

Everyone should go to the Cracker Barrel. You will leave a better person.
Expand ...
LOL at #4. If Colbert ever needs writers, you need to apply.
 
superjohn said:
You went to the one in Westchester, imagine what they are like in some non-Westchester parts of the country. Please tell me you've been to a Waffle House or an Omelette Shoppe.
Expand ...

I've never been to a Waffle House or an Omelette Shoppe.

We did go to a Perkins in Gettysburg last month and loved it. Every person who came in had a Steelers' jersey and a nickname.
 
Fishy said:
It's done.

Observations:

1) The place was packed. If you can't seen an old person right now, it's because they're all at Cracker Barrel.
2) Dinner for two and tip was under $35. I saved the receipt for posterity.
3) You think you've seen bravery? I saw a man order seafood at a Cracker Barrel. It was like sitting next to Neil Armstrong.
4) If you want to pick up women, head to the 'Barrel. I saw two women fall down in the shop.

What a crazy place. You walk in and the front "porch" is lined with rocking chairs that you can buy. Then you go inside and it's a little souvenir store - I could have bought a Christmas tree, a three-pound Snickers bar and an Army football hoodie before I even got seated.

Then you go into the restaurant part and it is a slice of some small town in Alabama. Or at least what I imagine a small town in Alabama would be like.

Old people lined every table. They were everywhere. It was Cocoon. I saw Wilfred Brimley's ghost. (Is he dead?) Every second, a Buick LeSabre pulled up and disgorged another load of cotton-tops. The typical table of four was three old women and one old man who had outlived his competition and now had his choice of very slow-moving booty.

As an experience in people-watching, it was wonderful theater. I'm dying to bring my daughter who would find the whole thing mesmerizing. I am less excited to bring my wife who would never stop commenting about the prevailing smell of butter. (Right now, I smell like butter.)

The food is basically bad wedding food. I had a grilled chicken breast which served as a prop for me to push around the plate. I was not given any mini-syrup bottles that I could have stolen for uchusky, but I imagine that I could have asked for syrup and no one have batted an eye. They don't judge you at Cracker Barrel.

The other guy ordered haddock. Seafood! At the 'Barrel! And he ate it. He is a man who gives danger the finger. I admire him.

Someone near us ordered breakfast. It was massive. Pancakes and ark-like variety of animal meats. Go for the pancakes, stay for the coronary.

Best of all, you are in and you are out within 35 minutes. They need your table for some old people who do not have time to waste waiting for it.

Everyone should go to the Cracker Barrel. You will leave a better person.
Expand ...
Deja vu for my Cracker Barrel experience, right down to the food orders. The guy who wanted to meet there (and who also ordered the haddock--and lived!) spent a good twenty minutes going through that souvenir store getting gifts for his kids. It became clear to me that what he liked about the place is that it made him feel like a little kid again. He had a silly glow of wonderment about him while going through all the various and sundry items in the store. And he had no question about what he was ordering. I don't think he even opened the menu. "The fish is always good" was his only advice to me.

I, too, wished I had ordered breakfast after pushing the grilled chicken breast around the plate.

Amazing place. I left him on one of the rocking chairs.
 
8893 said:
Deja vu for my Cracker Barrel experience, right down to the food orders. The guy who wanted to meet there (and who also ordered the haddock--and lived!) spent a good twenty minutes going through that souvenir store getting gifts for his kids. It became clear to me that what he liked about the place is that it made him feel like a little kid again. He had a silly glow of wonderment about him while going through all the various and sundry items in the store. And he had no question about what he was ordering. I don't think he even opened the menu. "The fish is always good" was his only advice to me.

I, too, wished I had ordered breakfast after pushing the grilled chicken breast around the plate.

Amazing place. I left him on one of the rocking chairs.
Expand ...

Was it a UCONN rocking chair or a Navy/Army one?
 
Everyone pretty much nailed with clientele, atmosphere and menu options.

The store's business plan works. Consistency across all locations, just enough menu variety that a party of four old people can each find something, cheap and relatively quick turnaround. Put them near highway exits where hungry car loads are susceptible and it's winner, winner, chicken dinner.
 
Fishy said:
I've never been to a Waffle House or an Omelette Shoppe. We did go to a Perkins in Gettysburg last month and loved it. Every person who came in had a Steelers' jersey and a nickname.
Expand ...


Waffle House is another guilty pleasure of mine. while different variety of people watching. You haven't lived until you've been in a waffle house in South Carolina at 330 am. It's anarchy.
 
August_West said:
Waffle House is another guilty pleasure of mine. while different variety of people watching. You haven't lived until you've been in a waffle house in South Carolina at 330 am. It's anarchy.
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If I remember correctly, you've done some musical gigs in your life. When you're on the road, time zones are blending and you're living out of a suitcase, good food choices get trumped by familiarity.

You're tired and hungry and you know exactly what to expect when you go in to a Cracker Barrel or a Waffle House.
 
August_West said:
Waffle House is another guilty pleasure of mine. while different variety of people watching. You haven't lived until you've been in a waffle house in South Carolina at 330 am. It's anarchy.
Expand ...

I went one time and sat at the counter. Ordered eggs with the potatoes with onions. When it came, the spuds were covered with that orange glop they call cheese. When I said it was supposed have onions instead of cheese, without saying a word she grabbed my plate and knife and just scraped the potatoes into the waste basket and threw the plate back at me. A few minutes later she dropped off a plate of potatoes with onions.
 
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