OT: my new diet | Page 3 | The Boneyard

OT: my new diet

borninansonia said:
The time to have the introduction of a superb microbe population is at time of birth. That's why my company is contracting with some top basketball stars to buy their poop.
Expand ...

So kids are eventually gonna dump like LeBron? That's wild stuff.
 
borninansonia said:
The time to have the introduction of a superb microbe population is at time of birth. That's why my company is contracting with some top basketball stars to buy their poop.
Expand ...

Why, because they act like babies?
 
temery said:
Why, because they act like babies?
Expand ...

Insert the purified, freeze dried, DNA tested poop into the newborn's gut immediately after birth. Usually the first microbes to populate the gut are those they stay around for the life of the human host. Many recent studies suggest that fecal transplants at time of birth can affect the long term health of the brain and body of the recipient.

Many wealthy Americans have expressed interest in fecal transplants from athletes for their newborns. Interestingly, our Chinese clients are much much more interested in the poop from brilliant American entrepreneurs for their newborns, who also have a lot of poop to give. Prices are astronomical, with most of the entrepreneurs giving the money for their poop to charity.

The highest prices we get are from the religious crowd, and the suppliers, top religious figures in the world. Insert poop from top religious figures at time of birth of the newborn, and the parents are ensured that their babies will go to heaven. Very expensive poop. We call it "Pope's poop" but to be clear, the Pope has not yet signed up to be a donor. He can make a billion dollars in one year for the church if he does sign up. There is a lot of poop there and a lot of people wanting to buy his poop.
 
.-.
Glad you’re getting healthy, ADub. Just remember when I was eating healthy and you said you’d rather enjoy life eating what you wanted, even if it was shorter instead of prolonging it eating healthy. Made fun of me drinking kombucha and all? Nice to see you finally listened fo me.
 
Deepster said:
Glad you’re getting healthy, ADub. Just remember when I was eating healthy and you said you’d rather enjoy life eating what you wanted, even if it was shorter instead of prolonging it eating healthy. Made fun of me drinking kombucha and all? Nice to see you finally listened fo me.
Expand ...

Remember when you used to deride people for eating meat like rocktheworld?

Good times.

But thanks.
 
borninansonia said:
Insert the purified, freeze dried, DNA tested poop into the newborn's gut immediately after birth. Usually the first microbes to populate the gut are those they stay around for the life of the human host. Many recent studies suggest that fecal transplants at time of birth can affect the long term health of the brain and body of the recipient.

Many wealthy Americans have expressed interest in fecal transplants from athletes for their newborns. Interestingly, our Chinese clients are much much more interested in the poop from brilliant American entrepreneurs for their newborns, who also have a lot of poop to give. Prices are astronomical, with most of the entrepreneurs giving the money for their poop to charity.

The highest prices we get are from the religious crowd, and the suppliers, top religious figures in the world. Insert poop from top religious figures at time of birth of the newborn, and the parents are ensured that their babies will go to heaven. Very expensive poop. We call it "Pope's poop" but to be clear, the Pope has not yet signed up to be a donor. He can make a billion dollars in one year for the church if he does sign up. There is a lot of poop there and a lot of people wanting to buy his poop.
Expand ...
I really hope this is some weird satire you're doing and not real.
 
borninansonia said:
Insert the purified, freeze dried, DNA tested poop into the newborn's gut immediately after birth. Usually the first microbes to populate the gut are those they stay around for the life of the human host. Many recent studies suggest that fecal transplants at time of birth can affect the long term health of the brain and body of the recipient.

Many wealthy Americans have expressed interest in fecal transplants from athletes for their newborns. Interestingly, our Chinese clients are much much more interested in the poop from brilliant American entrepreneurs for their newborns, who also have a lot of poop to give. Prices are astronomical, with most of the entrepreneurs giving the money for their poop to charity.

The highest prices we get are from the religious crowd, and the suppliers, top religious figures in the world. Insert poop from top religious figures at time of birth of the newborn, and the parents are ensured that their babies will go to heaven. Very expensive poop. We call it "Pope's poop" but to be clear, the Pope has not yet signed up to be a donor. He can make a billion dollars in one year for the church if he does sign up. There is a lot of poop there and a lot of people wanting to buy his poop.
Expand ...

Post/handle
 
Deepster said:
Glad you’re getting healthy, ADub. Just remember when I was eating healthy and you said you’d rather enjoy life eating what you wanted, even if it was shorter instead of prolonging it eating healthy. Made fun of me drinking kombucha and all? Nice to see you finally listened fo me.
Expand ...


I used to work next to a kombucha place. Never really did my gerd a lick of good and most of it tasted awful. Of the dozen or so different flavors they had on tap, I stuck with anything with a healthy amount of ginger in it - flavor strong enough to counteract the vinegar taste.

I don't imagine ADub would show any interest in hipster kombucha, but if he did, I'd wager he'd go OG, head over to CVS and down a bottle of Massengill.

Can't wait for the "Best Booch" thread...
 
.-.
storrsroars said:
I used to work next to a kombucha place. Never really did my gerd a lick of good and most of it tasted awful. Of the dozen or so different flavors they had on tap, I stuck with anything with a healthy amount of ginger in it - flavor strong enough to counteract the vinegar taste.

I don't imagine ADub would show any interest in hipster kombucha, but if he did, I'd wager he'd go OG, head over to CVS and down a bottle of Massengill.

Can't wait for the "Best Booch" thread...
Expand ...
I wanted to like it, but it makes me sick
 
storrsroars said:
I used to work next to a kombucha place. Never really did my gerd a lick of good and most of it tasted awful. Of the dozen or so different flavors they had on tap, I stuck with anything with a healthy amount of ginger in it - flavor strong enough to counteract the vinegar taste.

I don't imagine ADub would show any interest in hipster kombucha, but if he did, I'd wager he'd go OG, head over to CVS and down a bottle of Massengill.

Can't wait for the "Best Booch" thread...
Expand ...

The longer you let the first fermentation go, the more vinegar the taste. I usually only go 6-7 days. During the second fermentation, when you bottle and cap it, I usually use strawberries, pineapple, mango to cut the vinegar with sweetness a little more. It takes a lot of practice and feel.
 
I've been on a pretty simple diet (lifestyle) the last year or so. Keep in mind when I started I weighed about 175 and was moving toward a 34 waist. Now I am at 165 with a comfortable 32 waist. I decided the dad bod wasn't going to be for me so I made 4 simple changes:
1) I only drink water--no alcohol, no coffee, no soda, no tea, no fruit juices, no gatorade, etc.
2) I don't eat dessert or sugary foods--no ice cream, candy, yogurt, chocolate, cranberries, etc.
3) I don't eat fast food--no McDonald's, Arby's, Taco Bell, BK, Subway, Dominoes, Papa John's
4) I eat only fruits for breakfast (there are your natural sugars)

Other than that, I can eat anything else I want in any amount, but I usually eat a big lunch and a small dinner (if at all) and have snacks throughout the day. I probably eat 3-4k calories a day but only exercise occasionally. My metabolism is fast but as not as fast as it used to be.

I eat lots of meat, fruits, potatoes, corn, rich, nuts, bread, and dairy. So I still get all the variety I want.
 
shizzle787 said:
I've been on a pretty simple diet (lifestyle) the last year or so. Keep in mind when I started I weighed about 175 and was moving toward a 34 waist. Now I am at 165 with a comfortable 32 waist. I decided the dad bod wasn't going to be for me so I made 4 simple changes:
1) I only drink water--no alcohol, no coffee, no soda, no tea, no fruit juices, no gatorade, etc.
2) I don't eat dessert or sugary foods--no ice cream, candy, yogurt, chocolate, cranberries, etc.
3) I don't eat fast food--no McDonald's, Arby's, Taco Bell, BK, Subway, Dominoes, Papa John's
4) I eat only fruits for breakfast (there are your natural sugars)

Other than that, I can eat anything else I want in any amount, but I usually eat a big lunch and a small dinner (if at all) and have snacks throughout the day. I probably eat 3-4k calories a day but only exercise occasionally. My metabolism is fast but as not as fast as it used to be.

I eat lots of meat, fruits, potatoes, corn, rich, nuts, bread, and dairy. So I still get all the variety I want.
Expand ...
You're not eating 3,000-4,000 calories/day with occasional exercise and losing weight. You are way over estimating
 
JMick said:
You're not eating 3,000-4,000 calories/day with occasional exercise and losing weight. You are way over estimating
Expand ...
I'm maintaining my weight. I lost it pretty much right away and have stayed between 160-165 the last six or so months. I walk a lot during the day but that is about it for exercise.
 
shizzle787 said:
I'm maintaining my weight. I lost it pretty much right away and have stayed between 160-165 the last six or so months. I walk a lot during the day but that is about it for exercise.
Expand ...
how tall are you? I guarantee you're eating much less than you think you are.
 
.-.
JMick said:
how tall are you? I guarantee you're eating much less than you think you are.
Expand ...
5'11".
To give you an example, the other day I had half a footlong pastrami, 1/2 pound of Mexican chorizo and rice, and 3/4 lb. of sausage and peppers for lunch.
 
borninansonia said:
Insert the purified, freeze dried, DNA tested poop into the newborn's gut immediately after birth. Usually the first microbes to populate the gut are those they stay around for the life of the human host. Many recent studies suggest that fecal transplants at time of birth can affect the long term health of the brain and body of the recipient.

Many wealthy Americans have expressed interest in fecal transplants from athletes for their newborns. Interestingly, our Chinese clients are much much more interested in the poop from brilliant American entrepreneurs for their newborns, who also have a lot of poop to give. Prices are astronomical, with most of the entrepreneurs giving the money for their poop to charity.

The highest prices we get are from the religious crowd, and the suppliers, top religious figures in the world. Insert poop from top religious figures at time of birth of the newborn, and the parents are ensured that their babies will go to heaven. Very expensive poop. We call it "Pope's poop" but to be clear, the Pope has not yet signed up to be a donor. He can make a billion dollars in one year for the church if he does sign up. There is a lot of poop there and a lot of people wanting to buy his poop.
Expand ...

The biological gap between rich and poor/average kids is gonna be astronomical in 20-30 years. Although, it could be a good way for great athletes who are not pros to make some good side money. Middle class might support them.

I'm pissed I missed out on this, though my parents wouldn't of had the money anyway. I would have liked a potpourri of poops.

I still like the marketing of "Poop Like Bron!".
 
Deepster said:
Glad you’re getting healthy, ADub. Just remember when I was eating healthy and you said you’d rather enjoy life eating what you wanted, even if it was shorter instead of prolonging it eating healthy. Made fun of me drinking kombucha and all? Nice to see you finally listened fo me.
Expand ...

Well, in fairness, he can still make fun of the kombucha thing.
 
JMick said:
Your diet should be a lifestyle change and not a quick fix
Expand ...
Well, I 100% agree that weight is a lifestyle choice, for all but a handful of people. My wife was complaining about her weight recently (she looks great, just isn't used to having 10 extra pounds on her), and I noted that she might want to consider cutting back on the chips. I noted that buying a tub of salsa/guac and "scoop shaped" chips and then eating half the bag in one sitting was . . . you know, excessive. She eventually gave up that habit.
For me, when I have chosen to lose weight, I like to do it with a crash diet for a month or two and then settle into the lower weight with semi-permanent lifestyle changes. Eat out less. No 1/2 pizza for me. No huge portion of pasta (sorry grandma Delia, RIP).
You can simply change your lifestyle and then lose 1/2 pound a week kind of thing.
You can also eat 1500 calories a day for 2 or 3 months and exercise to really burn down quickly, but if you don't change lifestyle by the end, you'll just end up gaining everything back.
At least, that's how it works for me.

Exercise? Great for cardio, but not really great for dieting, IMO. Just good for dieting. Much easier to drink a can of diet soda and not work out than drink a can of sugar soda and then work out for 45 minutes.
I've seen many people live to 80 without a day of cardio in their lives.
 
Good job AW. Toughest challenge in my life. Quitting cigarettes after 20 years was easier.
 
shizzle787 said:
I've been on a pretty simple diet (lifestyle) the last year or so. Keep in mind when I started I weighed about 175 and was moving toward a 34 waist. Now I am at 165 with a comfortable 32 waist. I decided the dad bod wasn't going to be for me so I made 4 simple changes:
1) I only drink water--no alcohol, no coffee, no soda, no tea, no fruit juices, no gatorade, etc.
2) I don't eat dessert or sugary foods--no ice cream, candy, yogurt, chocolate, cranberries, etc.
3) I don't eat fast food--no McDonald's, Arby's, Taco Bell, BK, Subway, Dominoes, Papa John's
4) I eat only fruits for breakfast (there are your natural sugars)

Other than that, I can eat anything else I want in any amount, but I usually eat a big lunch and a small dinner (if at all) and have snacks throughout the day. I probably eat 3-4k calories a day but only exercise occasionally. My metabolism is fast but as not as fast as it used to be.

I eat lots of meat, fruits, potatoes, corn, rich, nuts, bread, and dairy. So I still get all the variety I want.
Expand ...

Outside of a metric butt ton of good things, you can eat whatever you want.

Any diet that does not allow you to eat ice cream, pizza, and chocolates is a complete farce.

Those things extend your life, not shorten it. Fools.
 
.-.
intlzncster said:
Outside of a metric butt ton of good things, you can eat whatever you want.

Any diet that does not allow you to eat ice cream, pizza, and chocolates is a complete farce.

I do eat pizza...
Expand ...
 
intlzncster said:
People live to 80 eating hamburgers for breakfast lunch and dinner. A lot of it really is genetics and luck.
Expand ...
That's true but for most eating burgers for every meal is terrible. I agree people who completely cut out pizza, steak, and ice cream live miserable and hollow lives.
 
shizzle787 said:
I've been on a pretty simple diet (lifestyle) the last year or so. Keep in mind when I started I weighed about 175 and was moving toward a 34 waist. Now I am at 165 with a comfortable 32 waist. I decided the dad bod wasn't going to be for me so I made 4 simple changes:
1) I only drink water--no alcohol, no coffee, no soda, no tea, no fruit juices, no gatorade, etc.
2) I don't eat dessert or sugary foods--no ice cream, candy, yogurt, chocolate, cranberries, etc.
3) I don't eat fast food--no McDonald's, Arby's, Taco Bell, BK, Subway, Dominoes, Papa John's
4) I eat only fruits for breakfast (there are your natural sugars)

Other than that, I can eat anything else I want in any amount, but I usually eat a big lunch and a small dinner (if at all) and have snacks throughout the day. I probably eat 3-4k calories a day but only exercise occasionally. My metabolism is fast but as not as fast as it used to be.

I eat lots of meat, fruits, potatoes, corn, rich, nuts, bread, and dairy. So I still get all the variety I want.
Expand ...
The Shizzmeister is back!!! Oh, what a glorious day!
 
I'm 56 days in on my latest diet. Lol carbing it, nothing new. Only a few twists that i hope can help long term. 1. No weighing in. I haven't weighed myself yet. There is no doubt I'm losing weight, but how much doesn't really matter to me. I figure as long as I start the course on the diet, and my clothes keep getting loosr or I have to jump into my skinny clothes, then I'm doing good. The reason for not weighing is that I find my motivation plummets when I have 1 or 2 weeks with little to no movement on the scale this disappointment leads to me saying screw it and just like that im eating junk again. The other twist is I'm not doing a ton of cardio. It' just not sustainable for me, I figure why kill myself when I can't keep it up. I still go walking, probably around 3 miles at lunch each day, but no more trips to the gym just got cardio. I also tried to minimize my water intake, but I've decided that that was stupid, that I just need to up my water intake permanently. Drinking a gallon plus a day now. Let's see how thing go, but 56 days in i feel encouraged. If I'm still going strong at 90 days I think this will stick!
 
borninansonia said:
. Prices are astronomical, with most of the entrepreneurs giving the money for their poop to charity.
Expand ...

So...if I donate my excrement...instead of just flushing it...can I deduct that on my taxes? Is there a standard rate? Are there drop boxes like they have for clothes and books and shoes and stuff?
 
.-.
You must log in or register to reply here.

Forum statistics

Threads
168,358
Messages
4,567,260
Members
10,469
Latest member
xxBlueChips


Top Bottom