OT Anthony Bourdain dead

[Yardigan]

It was amazing how he used food and drink to show us all how similar we really are. Whether you are from Hong Kong or Hartford, you can find commonality with almost anyone if you take the time to have a meal with them and just talk. Be kind to your fellow man and try something new in honor of Anthony.

RIP

I work with vendors domestic and international and, I always say, once you've had a meal with someone, that relationship is forever different.

 

[UconnFanNVa]

Loved what he did on his shows. Sharing culture and food around the world, I loved it! RIP

 

[mauconnfan]

So, good question off topic for you. You have played at most golf courses in the CT/MA area. What are the top 2-3 kitchen/restaurants for you?

Wow that is a very good question. Now unlike many others I am a proponent of a great golf course bar and deck area (highly unusual I know). It helps if there are hot bartenders but that's not everything. I'd go this way:

1) Southington CC - it's most definitely not the course which wins this spot but the way they remodeled the bar, stone deck and it usually has a friendly staff - great spot. And very good food at very affordable prices, impressive job by the AquaTurf family in creating a space where the golfers stay and the outsiders want to go party.

2) Fairview Farms - small bar but great stone patio overlooking 9 and 18 greens and great food. They should create a bigger bar space but they make so much cash on the banquets, weddings and such due to the lovely setting they probably never will.

3) Tradition-Wallingford - again not a great layout, not bad either but the bar area nice, you can walk outside on the decl and watch the 5th green. Good service ,very good food and ample cocktails.

 

[husky429]

The ironic thing is Bourdain would have loved my post.

Bourdain was an empathetic and kind individual by all reports. How can you possibly predict that?

You're an idiot. And have been.

 

[joober jones]

I heard this story early this morning. It's an extremely sad and tragic situation - this was a guy whose life was in total disarray yet he managed to pull it together and become very successful, only to have it all end in futility. I had the pleasure of meeting him once and he was a genuinely great guy. My deepest condolences go out to his friends and family.

 

[Da_Aisijimo_Gou]

Sad for Bourdain, family, friends & others. Quality comment by DO.

Idle observation: In the States: A) Is the current rate of suicide truly X% higher than some specific prior year Y, e.g., someone suggested 25% above versus some prior period? B) To what extent are people, families, medical professionals, etc willing to report deaths as likely suicides versus some specific prior year Y? C) What role does social media's influence on reporting account for perceptions of higher suicide rates? D) Some hybrid of A+B+C+other TBD?

 

[Nostical]

Mental illness needs to be standardized in a way that's accessible to everybody and not just a select group of wealthy white people.

Being wealthy and white may provide greater accessibility to mental health treatment but, as for these two, no greater measure of success.

 

[joober jones]

Being wealthy and white may provide greater accessibility to mental health treatment but, as for these two, no greater measure of success.

There's so much corruption in the field of mental health and pharmaceuticals that no race or income bracket demographic can be assured of access to adequate/effective mental health support. Don't get me wrong, there are many good and well-meaning people in the field, but to a lot of people it's just a paycheck. You can get a top level psychiatrist who will just pump you full of whatever medication they feel like giving on that particular day, results be damned. The kickbacks are too much to resist for some. As for residential treatment/emergency hospitalization, there's so much overcrowding and so little staff that even when everyone gives 150% it's still not enough. I've seen people of all races and income levels be denied proper treatment or given poor treatment that made them worse off than they were beforehand.

 

[Letsgohuskies11]

Sad for Bourdain, family, friends & others. Quality comment by DO.

Idle observation: In the States: A) Is the current rate of suicide truly X% higher than some specific prior year Y, e.g., someone suggested 25% above versus some prior period? B) To what extent are people, families, medical professionals, etc willing to report deaths as likely suicides versus some specific prior year Y? C) What role does social media's influence on reporting account for perceptions of higher suicide rates? D) Some hybrid of A+B+C+other TBD?

A person i went to highschool died a year ago from alcohol poisoning from basically drinking himself to death in a battle with depression. His family wouldn't come out and say though that is what it was which i get but at the same time continues the stigma that we shouldn't openly talk about mental health or depression.

 

[8893]

There's so much corruption in the field of mental health and pharmaceuticals that no race or income bracket demographic can be assured of access to adequate/effective mental health support. Don't get me wrong, there are many good and well-meaning people in the field, but to a lot of people it's just a paycheck. You can get a top level psychiatrist who will just pump you full of whatever medication they feel like giving on that particular day, results be damned. The kickbacks are too much to resist for some. As for residential treatment/emergency hospitalization, there's so much overcrowding and so little staff that even when everyone gives 150% it's still not enough. I've seen people of all races and income levels be denied proper treatment or given poor treatment that made them worse off than they were beforehand.

It can also be difficult to find a quality psychiatrist who accepts insurance.

 

[joober jones]

It can also be difficult to find a quality psychiatrist who accepts insurance.

More true now than ever before.

 

[superjohn]

A person i went to highschool died a year ago from alcohol poisoning from basically drinking himself to death in a battle with depression. His family wouldn't come out and say though that is what it was which i get but at the same time continues the stigma that we shouldn't openly talk about mental health or depression.

A few years ago I lost 5 friends back in Connecticut to drinking themselves to death and or suicide. It's incredibly difficult for family to cope with their loved one dying in such a desperate and lonely manner. It's pretty crazy how quickly people can spiral and lose all hope.

 

[Letsgohuskies11]

A few years ago I lost 5 friends back in Connecticut to drinking themselves to death and or suicide. It's incredibly difficult for family to cope with their loved one dying in such a desperate and lonely manner. It's pretty crazy how quickly people can spiral and lose all hope.

wow thats awful, cant imagine losing 5 friends. Were they all living in the same general area?

 

[superjohn]

wow thats awful, cant imagine losing 5 friends. Were they all living in the same general area?

All grew up in Northwest Connecticut and all still lived there except for one of them, they were all within a few classes of each other. They weren't my best friends or anything but they were all people I considered friends and grew up with and or spent a lot of time with at one point in my life. For a small population it seemed like people all of a sudden started dropping like flies when they reached their late 30's.

 

[intlzncster]

I don't think it's a switch at all. It's something going on inside of people all the time. But we learn to hide it. We learn not to talk about it, because you're not supposed to talk about it. Because people tell you to cheer up, to be happy for yourself, to count your blessings.

So quietly, you suffer, and you go on, every day, because you're supposed to be happy, and you're supposed to feel satisfied, and all this success is supposed to mean something, but you just feel empty and worthless inside, and you know you don't deserve it.

Depression doesn't care if you're rich or handsome or powerful or popular or surrounded by people who worship you. Why would you think it does? Does diabetes care if you're rich? Does cancer care if you have a TV show or a bestselling book?

We still don't take it seriously as a disease. We say, "How can someone with such a life be depressed," because we still think, well, they should just *choose* to be happy. As if people wouldn't choose that option if they could.

All you can do is just try to manage it. And sometimes, you lose that battle. Sometimes, the depression just wears you down, and you're so tired of feeling so sh!tty, of feeling like nothing matters, of feeling like you're worthless and unworthy of love, that you'd rather just not be alive anymore.

But please don't view it as a reflection of who these people are. It's not. It's the disease.

Get help if you can. Go to therapy. Get treatment. It can help. It's helped me.

But it doesn't help everyone. And we need to look at it honestly as a disease.

Great post. I don't have much to add, but I do think a lot of people who haven't experienced 'real' depression simply can't understand it, and therefore right it off as simply 'feeling sad', or 'down', or 'sorry for yourself' or what have you. It's not. It's also another world when people experience major depression where they have to live with it for months and years, slowly wearing you down and strangling you.

It's really interesting to see brain scans of healthy vs depressed people. Healthy brain scans are all lit up in different areas of the brain, while depressed peoples' scans have a much smaller, more isolated area of the brain dully illuminated. Much less activity.

People say that the person is being selfish with suicide, but really, the 'empathic' and logic parts of their brain simply aren't functioning.

 

[JMick]

People say that the person is being selfish with suicide, but really, the 'empathic' and logic parts of their brain simply aren't functioning.

is that true? I've always read that people suffering from depression generally have more empathy. they also tend to be intelligent.

 

[intlzncster]

There is some sort of epidemic forming with suicide. Like a switch going off in some people out of the blue. It has always been that way in that seemingly “ok” people kill themselves, but suicide rates are way up and child suicide is becoming a big problem. Presecription drugs, food additives, something in the water? Just seems something unnatural may be happening.

"Suicide rates increased by 25% across the United States over nearly two decades ending in 2016, according to research published Thursday by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Twenty-five states experienced a rise in suicides by more than 30%, the government report finds."

Suicide rate: US saw 25% increase since 1999, CDC says - CNN

Environmental, societal, economic, mental, etc., who knows? Whatever the reason, unfortunately, loved ones left behind suffer the most.

There's a lot of things that go into it, including:

• Decline of the nuclear family unit; increase in single parent families.
• Economic (real wages stagnant) issues and declining middle class
• America's 'pick yourself up by your bootstraps mentality' which is becoming harder to do in a world where competition is global, and where inflation has made the cost of basic things unaffordable for most.
• Increasing isolation in society what with the internet and lack of community events. You can live by yourself, never leaving the house these days. Make your money, have your food delivered, all from your couch etc...
• Social media. Big one. Everyone is compared too each other all the time. And everybody puts their sham 'best life' online. Inherently coming up short. Bullying etc.
• Too much information with overflowing media and ubiquitous communication. Nobody can 'leave' their jobs anymore. Always connected. Can't turn off.
• The more connected we are, the more we get disconnected from the world.
• There's more pressure and stress today than there's been in a long,long time in American society. Work too much.
• Increasingly sedentary lifestyles
• Nutrition deficiencies

etc

 

[Deepster]

Bourdain was an empathetic and kind individual by all reports. How can you possibly predict that?

You're an idiot. And have been.

He was noted as having a dark sense of humor. Apology accepted.

 

[JMick]

There's a lot of things that go into it, including:

• Decline of the nuclear family unit; increase in single parent families.
• Economic (real wages stagnant) issues and declining middle class
• America's 'pick yourself up by your bootstraps mentality' which is becoming harder to do in a world where competition is global, and where inflation has made the cost of basic things unaffordable for most.
• Increasing isolation in society what with the internet and lack of community events. You can live by yourself, never leaving the house these days. Make your money, have your food delivered, all from your couch etc...
• Social media. Big one. Everyone is compared too each other all the time. And everybody puts their sham 'best life' online. Inherently coming up short. Bullying etc.
• Too much information with overflowing media and ubiquitous communication. Nobody can 'leave' their jobs anymore. Always connected. Can't turn off.
• The more connected we are, the more we get disconnected from the world.
• There's more pressure and stress today than there's been in a long,long time in American society. Work too much.
• Increasingly sedentary lifestyles
• Nutrition deficiencies

etc

tl;dr Capitalism

 

[intlzncster]

is that true? I've always read that people suffering from depression generally have more empathy. they also tend to be intelligent.

To a degree, but when you get to a certain point, your brain is functioning on a very limited level. Some think it's the opposite. Certainly perspective is warped. Here's a study:

EPA-0168 – Can depression affect empathy? - ScienceDirect

 

[NEforceUConn]

Im platinum, phanner.

Sorry if my first reply went arie. If you are a heroine addict that's what you are. Yes you can mix but once it's the you are addicted to that's what it is. Sure many brits were adicts that were living a life. But when you quit you quite drugs

It's hard but once you quit you are done or you fallback and start again

 

[Letsgohuskies11]

All grew up in Northwest Connecticut and all still lived there except for one of them, they were all within a few classes of each other. They weren't my best friends or anything but they were all people I considered friends and grew up with and or spent a lot of time with at one point in my life. For a small population it seemed like people all of a sudden started dropping like flies when they reached their late 30's.

Do you think it was the isolation? Did they have partners at all?

 

[superjohn]

Do you think it was the isolation? Did they have partners at all?

One was seprated from his wife and all accounts are he spiraled after that, one was about to marry another guy I know. From just looking on the outside friends seemed surprised by what happened to all of them.

 

[David 76]

Wow! Sorry about Anthony. But there have been some very interesting theories on mental health put forward here.
Depression is painful. So painful that empathic people can lose their empathy because they can't see beyond their misery. Worse yet, they don't see it getting better. Ever. Imagine what it would take for you to leave your child with that trauma. Almost impossible to relate to.

I'm not a shrink (I am a licensed therapist) so I don't medicate. But I've never seen a shrink in private practice or a small group practice get a kickback beyond a free lunch.

 

[80shusky]

RIP. I loved his show in part because I love food. But, one of the great things it showed is that most people all over the world are exactly the same, even if they are completely different.

 

[Da_Aisijimo_Gou]

There's a lot of things that go into it, including: multiple bullet points
etc

Thanks for sharing these bullet points and your prior post; pointing to some of the idle ponderings in my post above.

 

[Da_Aisijimo_Gou]

“Maybe that’s enlightenment enough: to know that there is no final resting place of the mind; no moment of smug clarity. Perhaps wisdom...is realizing how small I am, and unwise, and how far I have yet to go".
- Anthony Bourdain

“If I'm an advocate for anything, it's to move. As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. The extent to which you can walk in someone else's shoes or at least eat their food, it's a plus for everybody. Open your mind, get up off the couch, move.”
- Anthony Bourdain

“They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table.”
― Anthony Bourdain, A Cook's Tour: Global Adventures in Extreme Cuisines

“Good food is very often, even most often, simple food.”
― Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

More Bourdain quotes

 

[jdb50]

Loved his show with the trip to The Cape where he got his start and the look back at his addiction as well as the trip to Vietnam being memorable. Bourdain was such a great storyteller. It is so sad that his story has ended. The struggle of life can be overwhelming and he could not fight any longer.

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

The ironic thing is Bourdain would have loved my post.

What if Bourdain would have replied to yours with, "You should have gone with your gut"? Still funny?

@Paesano 's post allowed me to see him in a new, more human, and better light. I appreciate that he had the courage to share authentically in the wake of something that moved him.

Yours was a well-delivered joke that could nearly be said to have written itself, and it required enough courage in your offering it that you had the good grace to add, "Too soon?"

In this case, I prefer the nourishment to the pop of flavor,but I don't claim to be right.

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

tl;dr Capitalism

Having vanquished Soviet communism, it set its sights on American representative democracy...