I can laugh now, but it wasn't funny when it happened. I remember I kept thinking ALL WEEKEND that I actually put myself in jail. LMAO. Pretty sure she was either HIGH or "Special" because when I came in she looked shook up in appearance and she was dirty. After telling her a few times that even if I didn't ask....what's stopping her from giving me "mayonnaise". lol. She wasn't hearing it. I already had paid so I said ....look, just give me my money and I'm out. That didn't register so I said....I'll just call the cops. I went outside to a dirty PAYPHONE and called. They came like 20 minutes later. I told them what happened and they told me to stay outside while they talked to her. I knew something was up when the cop came out with the handcuffs already out....lol. She told them I threw food on her. I said...WHAT?!!!!!!!!!! The chick was stained in food and whatever else was on her when I came. If I wasn't so desperate for some "real" food...I would have never ordered. I felt like ...hey, Subway aint like some fancy restaurant or nothing. lol Anyway ...they took my *^%$ to jail. I was there all weekend because there was no bail to be had until Monday. Monday Morning...they take me to the court house and some public defender is talking about taking a plea deal for TIME. Not a FINE, but TIME for assault. I said, uh, you kidding, right? Anyway, the judge finally calls my case...and calls me....Mr. Mayonnaise. The humor didn't register right then. The cop who arrested me showed up and said to the judge that he looked at the "tape" and the girl was lying. He said her employer said...she had issues. I was fortunate to not have duty during that time or I would have been found AWOL!
Now...this doesn't even include the Yuppies in an adjacent cell who harassed me all weekend asking me about jailhouse etiquette because...."I was used to being in jail." They said they were related to JFK. lol They harrassed the cops too so on the way to the jailhouse...cop took a BREAK for coffee...tuned up the music...undid my cuffs...and told them...ask all the questions about jail now. lol When they brought us in the courthouse we were all cuffed together and they were dragging everyone and screaming that I tried to kill them. Two of them and me for two maybe three minutes. It wasn't that bad. lol