I'm tired | The Boneyard

I'm tired

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HuskyNan

HuskyNan

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I'm tired of being yelled at by people because they want to be nasty to others and I've asked them not to be. I'm tired of the cheap shots, condescension, and anger. I'm tired of trying to mediate between two factions with opposite opinions - half who think I'm trying to make a "sterile" environment and the other half who are irate that people might see things on the team that need fixing. I'm tired of seeing my Inbox full of angry PMs from people who think they have a right to set the other guy straight in their own words, rules be damned.

I guess I've become a dinosaur, expecting that most are basically nice people who want a civil environment to discuss a team or game we all love. I'm saddened for the vast, silent majority that have been silenced by angry or condescending voices. I know you're out there. I'm sorry I can't help you.

I work full time. I have a family and friends to enjoy yet I spend a lot of time trying to keep people from arguing on an Internet web site. Nothing I say matters, so I yield. Go ahead, call each other names, humiliate each other, tell us how you disdain the little people with the bad temper - go ahead. If that's what you want, why should I keep fighting?
 
HuskyNan said:
I'm tired of being yelled at by people because they want to be nasty to others and I've asked them not to be. I'm tired of the cheap shots, condescension, and anger. I'm tired of trying to mediate between two factions with opposite opinions - half who think I'm trying to make a "sterile" environment and the other half who are irate that people might see things on the team that need fixing. I'm tired of seeing my Inbox full of angry PMs from people who think they have a right to set the other guy straight in their own words, rules be damned.

I guess I've become a dinosaur, expecting that most are basically nice people who want a civil environment to discuss a team or game we all love. I'm saddened for the vast, silent majority that have been silenced by angry or condescending voices. I know you're out there. I'm sorry I can't help you.

I work full time. I have a family and friends to enjoy yet I spend a lot of time trying to keep people from arguing on an Internet web site. Nothing I say matters, so I yield. Go ahead, call each other names, humiliate each other, tell us how you disdain the little people with the bad temper - go ahead. If that's what you want, why should I keep fighting?
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What can we do to help?
 
hoopingcrane said:
Sorry that you're so frustrated. Your efforts are very much appreciated.
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Agreed (though I know that it must feel as if no good deed goes unpunished).

Maybe those of us who lurk, but agree, that the tenor of this board has, of late, changed can 1) post here to prop up someone who has done so much for us as fans; and then 2) leap into the fray (even when it seems unpleasant) to agree with our moderators. I can only promise that I will try to do #2 (that sounds wrong) more often. I know firsthand how it feels when you feel as if you cannot please anyone for whom one is working (for free, at that.)

I, for one, am always appreciative of the moderators here. This board is (or used to be) a positive place to share opinions. Thank you all.
 
I don't blame you for feeling as you do. I don't like people to be attacked for their opinions. If my opinion differs I can state my opinion. Thanks for the times you have removed attacks on other teams' players. I remember my first email to you was to ask you to remove a comment someone had made about 18 year old Britney Griner. Your reply was "Consider it done". Thank you.
 
.-.
There are a whole lot of folks who take the freedom to post on an anonymous message board as a license to personally attack other posters, hiding behind their anonymity. A good rule to follow: if you disagree with a post, attack the other person's supposed fact, idea, premise, or opinion, not the person. There's nothing wrong with calling any of those things wrong or even stupid, but don't call the poster stupid or any other derogatory personal slur. You likely know little to nothing about that other person. Don't call anybody anything you wouldn't think was respectful to say to their face. Think about that before you post your message.
 
HuskyNan said:
I'm tired of being yelled at by people because they want to be nasty to others and I've asked them not to be. I'm tired of the cheap shots, condescension, and anger. I'm tired of trying to mediate between two factions with opposite opinions - half who think I'm trying to make a "sterile" environment and the other half who are irate that people might see things on the team that need fixing. I'm tired of seeing my Inbox full of angry PMs from people who think they have a right to set the other guy straight in their own words, rules be damned.

I guess I've become a dinosaur, expecting that most are basically nice people who want a civil environment to discuss a team or game we all love. I'm saddened for the vast, silent majority that have been silenced by angry or condescending voices. I know you're out there. I'm sorry I can't help you.

I work full time. I have a family and friends to enjoy yet I spend a lot of time trying to keep people from arguing on an Internet web site. Nothing I say matters, so I yield. Go ahead, call each other names, humiliate each other, tell us how you disdain the little people with the bad temper - go ahead. If that's what you want, why should I keep fighting?
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I don't get it. Aren't there several mods who could share the resposibilities?
 
Nan, may I suggest simply locking, or deleting a thread completly as you or the mods see fit.
PERHAPS ppl will start to get the message. Be respectful.
Your efforts here are greatly appreciated!
 
HuskyNan said:
I'm tired of being yelled at by people because they want to be nasty to others and I've asked them not to be. I'm tired of the cheap shots, condescension, and anger. I'm tired of trying to mediate between two factions with opposite opinions - half who think I'm trying to make a "sterile" environment and the other half who are irate that people might see things on the team that need fixing. I'm tired of seeing my Inbox full of angry PMs from people who think they have a right to set the other guy straight in their own words, rules be damned.

I guess I've become a dinosaur, expecting that most are basically nice people who want a civil environment to discuss a team or game we all love. I'm saddened for the vast, silent majority that have been silenced by angry or condescending voices. I know you're out there. I'm sorry I can't help you.

I work full time. I have a family and friends to enjoy yet I spend a lot of time trying to keep people from arguing on an Internet web site. Nothing I say matters, so I yield. Go ahead, call each other names, humiliate each other, tell us how you disdain the little people with the bad temper - go ahead. If that's what you want, why should I keep fighting?
Expand ...
You should keep fighting because you know it is the right thing to do. I appreciate the efforts that you and other mods put forth to inform and entertain the fanbase. Those who chose to debase the forum because of their own personal inability to recognize that others have opinions must be opposed so as to lead them to civil discourse or the door. Everyone in the BY has opinions, and that is all they are is opinions. If people must pick a fight, they are in the wrong forum. This space should be for fans to learn about the team they love, and to help others to do the same. If one wants to pick a fight, do it via the personal message option. They could then include their name ,address, and personal phone number so their target could respond appropriately. Please do not despair,Nan.
 
Your not a dinosaur you’re what’s best in all of us, especially us older folks that have followed this team for years. Society can get rude and obnoxious but there are still many of us that will never give into these changes that this behavior is acceptable. Thanks for everything you have done and please don’t give up, you are appreciated.
 
.-.
The current problem arose because of a different set of rules for the game day thread. While I don't agree with posters humiliating one another, I also don't think they should be allowed to humiliate players either. The rules should be the same, be it about players, posters or what thread they appear in. Allowing exceptions is a slippery slope that has all sorts of negative ramifications.
The mods do a good job of keeping things civil. Why have a thread that's an exception to the rules ?
 
What kind of dinosaur - a flying Pterodactyl, a smaller Troodon, a T-Rex, or more a Barney? Do relatives lie in the RockyHill Dino Park?

Anyway - great board - but I agree some people go on and on and ..........

Me, I usually ask for information and sometimes try to add something amusing (maybe just for my mind).

This is the top WBB board -congrats.
 
I tried "ignoring" the less than constructive posters, but the count is so high that many threads don't make much sense anymore. I may pop in now and then, but for me this site is not worth participating in anymore. Can't believe the tenor has changed so much the past couple of years. Nan is a treasure, but can't blame her. Damn shame.
 
Nancy's post made me sad. I hope she does not give up. Let the other mods help, or perhaps select a few other to be mods? It's gotten to be such a large board with so many different personalities and people posting all the time. :(
 
.-.
We haven’t always agreed (though most of the time we do). The key point is that it isn’t necessary that we agree. There is room here to differ and do so with civility. When that civility departs, so will I.

Suggestion: It sounds like you need a breather. By all means, if you need it, take it - you’ve surely earned it. The other mods can cover for you for awhile. But don’t permanently quit on the BY. Like our team, this board is an outlier. What we do here has a special unique quality and entertainment value. It’s worth the effort it takes for all of us to conform to a set of standards - even if we don’t always agree on them.

As to the rules: It isn’t necessary that we agree. It is necessary that we accept. Nan, you are truly appreciated.
 
This is disheartening to read. There are two people connected to the UConn community that I've never met but admire. The first is Gina Barrecca (spelling?) and the second is HuskyNan. I admire both for much the same reason, which is a willingness to stand up for what is right in a world where it isn't always popular. I think one way to ease the nastiness is for all of us to stop reacting to it. There are some people who post that I choose to ignore. I can't control what they do but I can control my response. Nan, you are doing a good job. This board isn't half as vile as an orange colored one to the south and east.
 
If you have a repeat offender with whom you have tried to reason maybe two times and they ignore you, then suspend their board privileges until the end of UCONN's season. Where does it say you have allow them access and privileges to the board? Privilege is the operative word.
 
100% behind you and appreciate all of your hard work. This is by far the best place to have a reasonable discussion about Women's basketball. Without your efforts, I fear it would become unreadable.

How about 1 warning followed by a 7 day ban if the warning does not work. No private messages, no explanations. Give people some time to cool off and reflect. It really only takes a few people behaving badly to make it miserable for everyone and if they are so offended by censure, then perhaps they can spend some time on VolNation as some purgatory.
 
Sonny44 said:
I don't get it. Aren't there several mods who could share the responsibilities?
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We're here. I'm going to offer some comments. First in the "Do NOT call out posters" game thread thread (may I call it that that?) and then maybe back here.
 
Hi Nan (may I call you Nan since I don't really know you?).. I've been lurking/commenting for years and I love this board. Don't despair. Unfortunately social media has gotten to be more vicious over the years as people feel emboldened by their anonymity. I felt attacked on a game thread recently and politely responded to the person who then apologized because he/she interpreted my statement in a way I did not mean. Sometimes it is blatant, and sometimes tone is inferred when there is none. That's why I may lurk more than post - or try to use as many emojis as possible. Anyway, in my roundabout way, I'm trying to say hang in there. We all appreciate what you do. I do agree with others that if the person is a continual offender then it's best to ban them. There's enough negativity out there. Anita.. Danbury, CT - Go Huskies!!
 
.-.
A moderator's job is to make judgments about lines and whether they have been stepped on or over. Most of the time we play nice. I think it is a slippery slope to suggest that the line gets squiggly or blurred for game threads. The rules are the rules. That was the source of the immediate difficulty in my opinion. Cross the line attacking a player around here and a bar fight will break out.
 
I've been lurking for several years and just posting over the last few weeks, so I don't get much say..... but I think you're super nice and insightful and make this board what it is, so I thank you for being here and doing what you do!
 
Nan, I for one greatly appreciate your efforts.

I know how difficult it can be - I was a mod on a football board for 7 years. Most of the time it was good, but in the end, the frustrations outstripped the rewards and I elected to leave.

So, I know what you are going through, and it's easy for someone to say "soldier on", but eventually it can be akin to throwing a gallon of water against the surf.

We no longer live in a civil, respectful, society any longer- especially here on the interwebz.
 
Hey Nan, I just want to say I really appreciate what you and the moderators do to try and keep this board civil. So thank you. It does seem to be a losing battle at times. I use to post more often, but became frustrated sometimes by the nasty replies....maybe I’m too sensitive. I was so looking forward to coming to the board after last night’s exciting win and was dismayed by all of the negativity. It is amazing how the joy is being sapped out of this forum. I’ve stopped watching the news; it appears I might stop coming to the Boneyard which saddens me. I wish I had a solution, but I don’t. Sending you a heartfelt thank you.
 
If I'm not mistaken this is a privately run board and you (HuskyNan) are not paid. You can moderate this board however you want, without an obligation to anyone for anything, not even an obligation for an explanation. One suggestion would be to get rid of the PM feature, at least for contacting you if not for everyone. You must have contact access for us if need be. If you absolutely want us to contact you back you can contact us first off board and then provide the means for return contact.

That will eliminate the feedback you get here, feedback we do not have an entitlement to provide even if we feel if we do. Take a poll once in awhile if you are in search of more general feedback. Otherwise, delete or edit away as you see fit, shielded from the blowback. I understand some revenue for running this board is generated by numbers of clicks or people visiting, but the numbers you might lose by depriving folks the opportunity to contact you via PM over any or everything would be compensated by the silent majority retained that support you editing or deleting as you see fit. I know the squeaky wheels seem like the squeaky majority, but there are several lines of evidence to suggest that is not really the case.
 
Nan, you do a great job. These people who think they a right 100% of the time will keep on trying to push the envelope of negativity. Keep your chin up and don't let the ba----ds get you down!
 
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