BYurbi et Orbi
(to the Boneyard and the World)
Nan once imparted a bit of wisdom to me here, in the heat of some hand-to-hand combat I was engaged in with another unruly poster. Of course he said I was unruly. We were both right. Anyway, it went something like this:
“There is after all such a thing as the unexpressed thought.”
Most of us here are passionate fans, and many (myself included) also have the capacity for being somewhat argumentative (what?) and defensive in our ways. My advice to those on whichever side of whatever arguments happen to be raging is to actively consider
not making that next post on the matter;
not making that incremental Inbox importunement;
not plumbing new lines of argument in your quest. It may be that you hadn’t stopped to genuinely consider this option. It’s actually doable. It was kind of a new concept to me when Nan shared it, as I’m not naturally wired that way. Perhaps you’re not either.
You may feel like this is surrendering the battle. In a small way, it is, but only if you define these matters as ‘war’ so to speak — without realizing it. It’s more accurate to just say it can and should be a conscious choice on the menu.
If your point or position is worth anything, both it and the rest of us posters will still be here tomorrow. Or next week. It’s ok to let something go now and just let it be, even if it seems HUGELY important. You can always revisit it later. It usually works better for all concerned that way, including the Mods, as the temperature tends to lower a bit in the meantime.
It’s worth a try. Play the long game and relax a little. Both you and the BY will be better for it.
Pax et Lux
