I'm tired

[donalddoowop]

I tried "ignoring" the less than constructive posters, but the count is so high that many threads don't make much sense anymore. I may pop in now and then, but for me this site is not worth participating in anymore. Can't believe the tenor has changed so much the past couple of years. Nan is a treasure, but can't blame her. Damn shame.

Just like society is changing. It is a shame it has come to this message board. There have been too many comments about this being the best WBB message board for Nan to give up. There is a good reason for those comments. Evidently Nan and the other moderators are doing a great job. I don't understand why someone would get upset because Nan wants posters to be civil.

 

[Striper69]

I'm tired of being yelled at by people because they want to be nasty to others and I've asked them not to be. I'm tired of the cheap shots, condescension, and anger. I'm tired of trying to mediate between two factions with opposite opinions - half who think I'm trying to make a "sterile" environment and the other half who are irate that people might see things on the team that need fixing. I'm tired of seeing my Inbox full of angry PMs from people who think they have a right to set the other guy straight in their own words, rules be damned.

I guess I've become a dinosaur, expecting that most are basically nice people who want a civil environment to discuss a team or game we all love. I'm saddened for the vast, silent majority that have been silenced by angry or condescending voices. I know you're out there. I'm sorry I can't help you.

I work full time. I have a family and friends to enjoy yet I spend a lot of time trying to keep people from arguing on an Internet web site. Nothing I say matters, so I yield. Go ahead, call each other names, humiliate each other, tell us how you disdain the little people with the bad temper - go ahead. If that's what you want, why should I keep fighting?

Just use the ol' "Ban Button"....

problem(s) solved.

 

[caramel]

Hard to believe that people send personal messages full of fire and brimstone. Oh ,I forgot ,it is part of the society we live in today, I am always right and you are always wrong.
As a member here, I have always enjoyed many of the comments and information I have read. Mostly though, I have relished the control this board adheres too, and the time spent by the moderators to control the content.
I think the moderators do not get nearly enough appreciation for their efforts, and I am thankful that they allow me to participate on what I believe to be one of the finest boards available to read and post on.

 

[AllAmerRedHeads]

Sorry to hear of this Nan. You do things on your own time because of something you believe in. There are people that take those people that give their time for granted to be point of even becoming nasty when they feel they are not getting what they want and get nasty. I rarely post here anymore, but have enjoyed reading much.

I do not think it is just here, it is everywhere, especially online. give people a keyboard to hide behind and watch some let loose. I have seen it too with my basketball research and have been lambasted a few times for my efforts, yet no one else has stepped up.

I finally stepped back a few years ago because it was affecting my health and family. Amazing how much my life changed and I began smiling again.

However, I left one thing unfinished, my book. I came back to do that. and once again, some of the nasties have appeared to throw their darts. It still bothers me a bit but not like it did.

I tip my hat to you for moderating one of the best wbb sites on the internet, yet dont let anything ever take away from your life and health. even this board.

My best and thanks.

 

[mbr33ct]

Just my opinion, I have always thought these forums (this and others), that it was somewhat odd to have a "Like" (or Thumb Up) and not a "Dislike" (Thumb Down). In my mind if there was a "Dislike" (Thumb Down) button, most of these replies would not be needed.

 

[DaddyChoc]

guess I gotta start reading the "Game Threads"...

 

[veryolddog]

I can't read the game threads while I am watching the game. I put the laptop down, put on the game, grab a brownie and really enjoy the sports entertainment of my favorite sports team. I particularly enjoy the quick shots of Geno showing his frustration on the sidelines and think that he will probably have a heart attack when Crystal throws the ball into the stands. The players on the floor get it. Never look at the bench to see his reaction after a play that goes awry or especially a missed layup. Just got to laugh at that.

Mrs. HuskyNan, you need a rest on a ranch away from the urban world where you can feed the elk and the wild horses every day.

 

[terif831]

Nan, I sure do understand. I don't post an awful lot, but I do lurk, and man, sometimes the nasty runs deep around here.

I don't belong to a lot of Internet groups for just that reason - people use the anonymity to allow their dark sides to emerge, yada, yada, yada. But this is one of the few I've enjoyed for many years now, and I still do, largely due to you and your fellow mods, as well as a lot of knowledgeable posters. There are some who feel that they should be allowed to say whatever they wish, no holds barred, with no consideration at all for civility. What can we do about that? I don't think you can change the person - if that's how they are, that's how they are. If they're not willing to follow simple rules of civility that you've set up for this group, then they don't belong here. Plenty of times, I've joined a group, found it wasn't for me for one reason or another, and left it of my own volition. I don't expect the group, or its rules, to change for ME. There are plenty more out there; find another one that suits you.

JMHO.

And I appreciate you, Nan, and your voice of reason, and your attitude of kindness. Such is getting more difficult to find in the real world, even rarer on the Internet. Thank you.

Teri

 

[LouS]

I'm tired of being yelled at by people because they want to be nasty to others and I've asked them not to be. I'm tired of the cheap shots, condescension, and anger. I'm tired of trying to mediate between two factions with opposite opinions - half who think I'm trying to make a "sterile" environment and the other half who are irate that people might see things on the team that need fixing. I'm tired of seeing my Inbox full of angry PMs from people who think they have a right to set the other guy straight in their own words, rules be damned.

I guess I've become a dinosaur, expecting that most are basically nice people who want a civil environment to discuss a team or game we all love. I'm saddened for the vast, silent majority that have been silenced by angry or condescending voices. I know you're out there. I'm sorry I can't help you.

I work full time. I have a family and friends to enjoy yet I spend a lot of time trying to keep people from arguing on an Internet web site. Nothing I say matters, so I yield. Go ahead, call each other names, humiliate each other, tell us how you disdain the little people with the bad temper - go ahead. If that's what you want, why should I keep fighting?

It is so sad that the American Society has tumbled to such a low point. It's not just the Boneyard, it is in our daily personal and political life. HuskyNan, you do a great job and don't let the ungrateful get you down. Say strong and move forward.

 

[VillageHusky]

The UConn Women’s Basketball program is a remarkable success by any standard of measure. It has defined excellence in sports, not just women’s college athletics, to a degree seen rarely if ever. The women (and man) who have made this program what it has been over the past 33 years are compelling and worthy of celebration not only collectively but in most instances individually. They have brought great credit and pride to a state often ignored in the world of sport and otherwise. This past 10 year period has seen heights reached never before in college women’s basketball and only once before in men’s college basketball, 10 straight Final Fours and 6 NCAA championships.

Although many in the press and public outside Connecticut have marveled at the success and values of this program, the Boneyard has served as an outlet and forum for those of us who wish to discuss, savor and celebrate the team beyond watching the games and reading the occasional article. We have found kindred spirits here as well as humor, appreciation and camaraderie. The moderators have worked long and hard to make that so. It would be truly a shame and a statement on our times and expectations if the Boneyard would be allowed to spiral downward into a snark zone full of criticism and free of any standards during a time when the team being discussed is 15-0, ranked no. 1, and has had a record of 385-15 over the last 10+ seasons.

I would add that, at least for me, last season was possibly the most enjoyable of any of the past recent seasons because the team performed so above beyond my wildest expectations and achieved such performances so appealingly and with such grace. The fact the season ended with a loss in overtime did not fill me with grief or make me think I overlooked some signs of vulnerability during the preceding games but rather left me with a smile of wonder and gratitude for the season that had just ended.

Of course, you (Nan) should do what you need to do for yourself and your state of mind. Please just take this as my way of saying thank you to you and your fellow moderators for all your work and effort in making this space the place where fans and appreciators of this program and women’s college basketball in general could come to discuss and appreciate the games and the marvelous players and coaches in what has largely been a civil and celebratory fashion.

 

[Ron and Vida]

I've been lurking for several years and just posting over the last few weeks, so I don't get much say..... but I think you're super nice and insightful and make this board what it is, so I thank you for being here and doing what you do!

Please take heart. You have made a big difference.
For example the compassionate way the departure of AEH and others was handled on this board is because of respectful culture you set up.
It seems to us that the gratitude of their families greatly outweighs the inevitable negativity of some posters.

 

[Teacherdeb]

Dear Nan- keep in mind the following Anne Frank quote: “Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart”- I had this on my wall when I taught and it was important as a reminder frequently!
Thank you for all your efforts to make the boneyard a bright spot for so many.

 

[Teacherdeb]

The UConn Women’s Basketball program is a remarkable success by any standard of measure. It has defined excellence in sports, not just women’s college athletics, to a degree seen rarely if ever. The women (and man) who have made this program what it has been over the past 33 years are compelling and worthy of celebration not only collectively but in most instances individually. They have brought great credit and pride to a state often ignored in the world of sport and otherwise. This past 10 year period has seen heights reached never before in college women’s basketball and only once before in men’s college basketball, 10 straight Final Fours and 6 NCAA championships.

Although many in the press and public outside Connecticut have marveled at the success and values of this program, the Boneyard has served as an outlet and forum for those of us who wish to discuss, savor and celebrate the team beyond watching the games and reading the occasional article. We have found kindred spirits here as well as humor, appreciation and camaraderie. The moderators have worked long and hard to make that so. It would be truly a shame and a statement on our times and expectations if the Boneyard would be allowed to spiral downward into a snark zone full of criticism and free of any standards during a time when the team being discussed is 15-0, ranked no. 1, and has had a record of 385-15 over the last 10+ seasons.

I would add that, at least for me, last season was possibly the most enjoyable of any of the past recent season because the team performed so above beyond my wildest expectations and achieved such performances so appealingly and with such grace. The fact the season ended with a loss in overtime did not fill me with grief or make me thin I overlooked some signs of vulnerability during the preceding games but rather left me with a smile of wonder and gratitude for the season that had just ended.

Of course, you (Nan) should do what you need to do for yourself and your state of mind. Please just take this as my way of saying thank you to you and your fellow moderators for all your work and effort in making this space the place where fans and appreciators of this program and women’s college basketball in general could come to discuss and appreciate the games and the marvelous players and coaches in what has largely been a civil and celebratory fashion.

Well said Village Husky! I completely agree about last season- it was my favorite, and I too was filled with wonder and gratitude despite the loss- it is too bad that everything seems to be about winning that last game- the process getting there is really valuable as well. On game days I’m filled with a glow of anticipation and my day is just brighter. How wonderful is that?

 

[LesMis89]

Nan,

Would like to say that I'm surprised by your OP but I'm not, considering the tenor of this board most days and how truly exhausting moderating can be.

I've been a part of various incarnations of this board since the 1990's, primarily lurking. We have a truly EXCEPTIONAL group of moderators here and it infuriates me that any one of them has been so emotionally drained by their moderating here that they have reached the quitting point. I've moderated a baseball board for 15 years or so know the feeling, unfortunately.

Here's my input to posters, FWIW -

1. This is a privately run message board. You, as the poster, aren't DUE anything. Owners' rules, period. You aren't even due an explanation. If you GET an explanation from a mod, consider that a gift - NOT the opening salvo in a debate. If that seems arbitrary, you don't set the rules.

2. Exercising tact and diplomacy in your posts really is beneficial for you, personally. There's an old saying, "You get more flies with honey than vinegar." Since both your off-line personal and professional life will benefit, consider it good practice to do it here.

3. Participate as if you are having an in-person discussion with your dearest loved ones. If you wouldn't say it to them, don't say it here. If you WOULD be nasty, snarky and confrontational with your dearest loved ones, I'll point out that, contrary to the Hallmark cards, love is neither eternal nor infinite. Nasty, snarky, confrontational (and abusive, dare I say) can eventually wear out the deepest devotion.

4. For those posters liking to 'mix it up' on any particular thread, try to keep in mind there are those posters that simply enjoy the team and root for them. They aren't interested in having to validate their fandom by engaging in a debate with you. There are many shades of fandom and they are all fine.

5. If you truly feel too constrained by how things operate here, there are other more...free form, shall we say...boards that might be a better fit. Or if you can't find a true fit elsewhere, start your own board.

Stepping down from my soapbox.

 

[meyers7]

I'm tired of being yelled at by people because they want to be nasty to others and I've asked them not to be. I'm tired of the cheap shots, condescension, and anger. I'm tired of trying to mediate between two factions with opposite opinions - half who think I'm trying to make a "sterile" environment and the other half who are irate that people might see things on the team that need fixing. I'm tired of seeing my Inbox full of angry PMs from people who think they have a right to set the other guy straight in their own words, rules be damned.

I guess I've become a dinosaur, expecting that most are basically nice people who want a civil environment to discuss a team or game we all love. I'm saddened for the vast, silent majority that have been silenced by angry or condescending voices. I know you're out there. I'm sorry I can't help you.

I work full time. I have a family and friends to enjoy yet I spend a lot of time trying to keep people from arguing on an Internet web site. Nothing I say matters, so I yield. Go ahead, call each other names, humiliate each other, tell us how you disdain the little people with the bad temper - go ahead. If that's what you want, why should I keep fighting?

You probably didn't mean to but you've drawn out a lot of the "lurkers" with this thread. Nice job. Now if only we could get them to post more often on regular threads, maybe we could drown out some of the negativity around here.

Keep your head up. I would say it gets better, but.... you know better than that. If it really is too much and really not worth it, always remember you and your family should come first. A lot of times in life we have the choice to be happy or miserable.

 

[JustinesGuy]

You probably didn't mean to but you've drawn out a lot of the "lurkers" with this thread. Nice job. Now if only we could get them to post more often on regular threads, maybe we could drown out some of the negativity around here.

Keep your head up. I would say it gets better, but.... you know better than that. If it really is too much and really not worth it, always remember you and your family should come first. A lot of times in life we have the choice to be happy or miserable.

Meyers- your a respected poster here( at least IMHO) but is there really so much negativity? I personally don't post a lot in game threads since I usually watch games in person or on DVr.

You know how crazy the games threads are on other boards that actually lose games!!?!! It's kinda laughable. This board is candy land bingo compared to normal programs that don't make the final four every year.

 

[Bronxjeff]

Nan,

You do a great service for the world by standing up for civility. We all come into the world as little savages, and it’s only through the education that we learn to be civilized. Unfortunately, the constant efforts of shining lights like yourself are still required to remind us all to play nicely.

I really enjoy checking this site everyday and send you lots of love and appreciation for making it so great.

 

[meyers7]

Meyers- your a respected poster here( at least IMHO) but is there really so much negativity? I personally don't post a lot in game threads since I usually watch games in person or on DVr.

You know how crazy the games threads are on other boards that actually lose games!!?!! It's kinda laughable. This board is candy land bingo compared to normal programs that don't make the final four every year.

Ummm, negativity in the doom and gloom manner. This team sucks or this player sucks or my favorite player isn't being used right so Geno sucks. Negativity like that, while yea, being undefeated, #1, great recruits coming in, etc.

Yea, I don't do game threads. Occasionally I will read through them the next day, but not usually. Most of the stupidity seems to come out in them. Besides, due to mojo purposes, I cannot watch the game live anyway. I have to record it and watch it later. (you guys are welcome ).

 

[JustinesGuy]

Ummm, negativity in the doom and gloom manner. This team sucks or this player sucks or my favorite player isn't being used right so Geno sucks. Negativity like that, while yea, being undefeated, #1, great recruits coming in, etc.

Yea, I don't do game threads. Occasionally I will read through them the next day, but not usually. Most of the stupidity seems to come out in them. Besides, due to mojo purposes, I cannot watch the game live anyway. I have to record it and watch it later. (you guys are welcome ).

Good call. I always welcome your insights.

 

[Roger G]

I hope you don't give up and I will take your feelings into consideration when I post.

 

[Golden Husky]

Lots of support and appreciation for censorship. Respectfully, I dissent...while I'm still able to do so.

 

[Ozimoto]

Nan, I used to help moderate a board for firefighters. I feel your pain. I agree with others who have pointed out that a lot of responses are from those who don't necessarily post much but enjoy the board. They appreciate what you and the other moderators do and what this board adds to being a Huskies fan. I am a fairly recent participant in this board, this being the third season that I have been here. For some reason, this year just feels different to me and I have found it less pleasurable to visit here. Sometimes it amazes me how people can be so wrapped up in this team and what the players and coaches do or don't do. Sure, I am a fan of the team and I enjoy the games, but my day and my life isn't ruined if they don't play well or, horror of horrors, they lose a game.

 

[Adesmar123]

but my day and my life isn't ruined if they lose a game.

And you call yourself a fan?

 

[JS]

Lots of support and appreciation for censorship. Respectfully, I dissent...while I'm still able to do so.

A few points, if I may.

1. We're applying the same standards we have for a long time with only some occasional evolutions of emphasis. This mod team has been in place for 15 years or so. We aren't going to change because of a clamor among some people, based on current events, for tighter or looser control of the board.

2. From the point of view of board moderation, negative views are just as welcome here, if not as popular, as positive ones. They can spur good discussion, of which there's a lot on the board in case people haven't noticed. Personally, I don't even have the perception of rampant current negativity that some posters are expressing. More like a shrug at critical posts as long as they and the responses to them are civil and in accordance with board rules.

3. On that score, I don't see rampant incivility either. We aren't taking more or less disciplinary action than usual (see point 1). There's the usual range and frequency of conduct issues and we're using the usual tools to deal with them.

4. If people think there's a new incivility, I'd like to discuss issues and personalities from years past when some classic board villains were around. It's quite a saga. Maybe another time. The war of positoids versus negatoids has been going on for a long, long time. It's like Korea. Peace has never been declared.

5. Nan's situation is her situation. Biff and I don't see the incoming she takes and can't stand in her personal shoes. We're cooperative colleagues and will continue to support and inform each other's efforts.

 

[Fightin Choke]

Nan once imparted a bit of wisdom to me here, in the heat of some hand-to-hand combat I was engaged in with another unruly poster. Of course he said I was unruly. We were both right. Anyway, it went something like this:

I have never seen you act aggressively to other posters. When I first joined the forum, I was shocked by the negative reactions that my posts engendered. I probably would have never come back if it hadn't been for you, Nan, a poster named speedoo (who no longer posts), wire chief, and DaddyChoc. The mods have done an excellent job of maintaining a civil environment, but the support of other posters cannot be understated.

Nan, I appreciate all you do here. Thanks for all your (mostly) thankless work.