From Women to Kids - AP Indicted on Child Abuse

[Gurleyman]

Adrian Peterson who studies the bible and lives through faith.

The stripper's name wasn't Faith. It was Erica.

 

[CallMeBruce]

One is disciplining to make sure their child doesn't make mistakes that they wouldn't make themselves because it's not the right thing to do. The other is disciplining to do anything to make that person feel like they aren't equal. For doing things like trying to read and anything that would give them power. It's also not nearly as bad so stop. It's not the same at all and it's highly ignorant for you to think that. For you to be that insensitive to how terrible of a thing slavery was and all the things that happened during it for you to compare it to a parent discipline his child is infuriating.

Except it isn't. It's disciplining a kid who talks back, which isn't about educating them, it's about getting them to do what you want. That isn't love. The fact is that parents who think they have the rights to hit their kids ARE treating them like property. That child has a right to not get hit, and that right supersedes your right to feel like a big man and hit a defenseless child.

 

[temery]

What y'all aren't understanding is most blacks will tell you the same thing. If AP goes to jail for this then we all should've lost our parents. Kevin Ollie is a God fearing man just like Adrian Peterson who studies the bible and lives through faith. I can actually find out if Jalen was physically disciplined as a child (not beating bloody but had the belt) the fact that a lot of y'all are so ignorant to that belief shows what little understanding you have for blacks. I wouldn't be shocked if you think situations like Mike Brown or Trayvon Martin were their fault.

I'm not saying all of you are like that either cause there are some who understands that that happens but just don't condone it. But some of y'all act like it's that worst thing ever which is crazy to me.

Knock it off.

 

[Rico444]

It's hard for me to believe that going through it because that's not how I think at all. Nor do most of my peers think like that. Only when highly disrespected do we usually resort to violence. Not simple disagreements. That's foolish. It taught me specifically to respect all elders no matter what I may actually think of them. It just depends how the discipline is used. We don't just discipline are children whenever they make a mistake. It's the type of mistake they make. If it's disrespectful then yes, they get physically disciplined. Because you will have respect.

I'm sure AP won't make the mistake again of using a switch to discipline his child though after being enlightened.

So you resort to violence whenever you're highly disrespected? You just proved my point. If you're an adult in the real world, you can't go around hitting people every time you perceive them to disrespect you. That won't fly in front of a judge. "Well your Honor, he called me an to my face, so now you see why I broke his nose."

Violence is never the answer unless you're in a situation where you or your family's lives are at risk. If people weren't so quick to resort to violence, the world would be a much better place, although child abuse is just one of many reasons why the world is so violent.

 

[Walker11]

I didn't even realize any people beat their kids. I didn't know that this was a part of black culture and even now, I suspect that Huskywarrior is making gross generalizations. That said, if something is a part of a culture that doesn't mean its right. A lot of people have done a lot of duck___d up stuff throughout history because "it was part of their culture."

 

[UCHuskies08]

He's not really defending Peterson. He's defending his own abusive parents, and himself in the future, should he find a woman foolish enough to procreate with him, because he's made it very clear he intends to abuse any kids he has.

I think this really hits the nail on the head.

In HuskyWarrior's defense, while I find his views absurd, he is right in that he is not the only person advocating this stance. In listening to call-in sports radio there was more than a fair share of people calling in saying the exact same things. That their parents beat them senseless, and they're fine, so people should relax.

At the end of the day, HuskyWarrior, and all these people love the parents. They don't want to think their parents are child abusers who abused them. It's a pretty messed up scenario to be in. Instead, they look at it as a sign of a respect, that they abused them because it was in their best interests. This is in no way a unique behavior among abuse victims of ALL kinds (mental, physical, emotional, etc).

I wouldn't have a problem leaving it at that, and letting them believe what they want about their parents. Certainly I have no desire to strain anyone's relationship with their parents, it's a keystone relationship for everybody.

But the problem, as cited in this Slate article, being abused as a child is what perpetuates it in the future, it's what makes someone who knows how horrible it is to be abused do it someone else.

Here's the money section:

The strongest predictor of whether a child thinks it’s OK to hit kids, and whether he’ll grow up to do so, is how often he’s been disciplined that way. Light spanking isn’t as bad as wielding a tree branch. But it’s part of the continuum. Researchers call this the “hidden curriculum”: Corporal punishment teaches itself.

Peterson thought he was teaching the opposite. According to reports, he was punishing his son for pushing and scratching another child. He says he explained this to the boy. “Anytime I spank my kids, I talk to them before, let them know what they did, and of course after,” he told investigators.

But when you hit a child for hitting another child, the hitting does all the talking. That’s the upshot of a recent study of more than 100 children and their parents. Every parent who approved of spanking a child for hitting a sibling passed this belief on to their kids. And 79 percent of kids who came from homes with lots of spanking said they’d hit a sibling for trying to watch a different TV show—almost the same scenario that led to Peterson’s beating of his son. According to the researchers, “Not one child from a no-spanking home chose to resolve these conflicts by hitting.” The kids absorbed the model, not the lecture.

HW, this is why it doesn't matter that you came through abuse okay, on a macro level, it has a terrible effect. It perpetuates violence.

 

[Gurleyman]

Anybody who says "I was beaten and turned out fine" didn't really turn out all that fine. They became rather narcissistic, thinking their specific example should somehow apply universally to all the world.

 

[David 76]

Hitting kids is more part of Black culture.
It is morally wrong and it is ineffective. But it is cultural. I have heard black parents say they have to be tough on their kids so they don't end up like Trevon Martin. Of course this was only worse over the centuries.
But it is time to end hitting kids like this. I'm sure most of us had ancestors who felt kids needed whooppin' and or felt they knew it was stupid not to show how to keep your wife in line. They also would have felt it was silly to suggest they should not hit their kids/wife.
Most of us have moved on and the rest of us should. I'll grant that AP may have thought he was acting correctly but I can't imagine how anyone could hurt a kid that little so badly.
It happens in white families too. But it is kept secret.

 

[bellairehusky]

I remember a time when I was about 7 or so - I had the flu. I am Asian and where I come from, when you get the flu, the common remedy is to rub "Dragon Oil" (which is sort of like Vick's Vapor Rub) on your chest and back, and using a spoon, make quick scraping strokes all over your body. I suppose the concept is to create internal heat or something (I don't know), but I can attest that it really works - but it was painful as hell with the spoon part. Anyway, using the spoon caused 1-2 inch marks not unlike the pictures related to the AP story. When I went to school, one of the teachers noticed some of the marks as far up as my neck and sent me to the nurse, which I later found out was due to concern of potential child abuse. I took my shirt off for the nurse and she asked me what happened. I was too embarrassed or unable to explain, so I said I fell off my bike. The nurse let me return to my class.

When I returned home that afternoon, there was a social worker at our house. She was trying to talk to my mom, who spoke no English, so she proceeded to ask me and each of my brothers and sisters whether we had ever been physically abused. We all shook our heads emphatically, "no, ma'am, never!" Shortly after the social worker left, my mom asked one of us to go to the woods and pick out a switch (I never knew it was called a switch until now), which she used on a few of us . Afterwards, I would say that my buttocks and legs looked pretty much exactly like the pictures related to the AP story. I recall the worker explaining to my older brother that we could be taken away from the home and placed into foster care or some other care. I distinctly remember that I was scared like I've never been before with the thought of being away from my family. I remember thinking that if I they decide to take my away, I would run away - back then I had always heard California would be a good place to go. Thankfully, that never materialized, and I was happy to go back to my mom's loving periodic switch .

Now, I am the father of three and basically I've learned to not go with my initial instincts of screaming and then hitting (how I was punished), but to think through how to best handle a discipline situation. Thankfully, I was able to do so because the Lord gave us a girl first, so hitting was not an option for me (though I grew up with it happening to sisters) and I was therefore forced to do something other than my instinct - I still do scream a lot though and am trying to work on that . Having said that, I do/did spank my two youngest - boys . Although what my mom did went too far, I feel that there are some situations that call for some form of physical punishment. For me, when that happens, it is a situational, thought out, controlled, rational and purposeful action and fully communicated to my child (and of course these situations are rare and nothing nearly as physically severe as what I endured). I understand that its a slippery slope because physical punishment is most often the first recourse and is done with anger, violence and without purpose and is taken too far. I know that oftentimes it is not discipline, but abuse. But taking it away in the absolute is also a slippery slope. For example, would a coach making a player run extra sprints for breaking team rules be considered unacceptable punishment? I would guess that many would say that is acceptable - but isn't that a form of physical punishment?

Lastly, let's not forget that there are a lot more non-physical ways to traumatize/screw up a child. Psychological abuse is equally if not more damaging to a child. Anyway, I really have tried to stay out of this as much as I can, because I put it up there with topics like the death penalty, abortion, religion, etc, etc. Its easy to have the "my way is the right way, the only way, the best way" mindset. I am certainly guilty of that also. But for me, I respectfully disagree that the only and best way to raise a child is with absolutely zero physical punishment. There is just a difference of opinion on this topic, just like there would be on the aforementioned list.

P.S. I read that in the US, 70% of Asian families currently use physical discipline, a number has has steadily declined as more parents are becoming aware of laws on child abuse. I think for Asians outside the US, despite many locales passing child abuse laws, that number is still over 85% (includes South Koreans, Chinese and Vietnamese). I suspect that in immigrant populations, the percentage is also exceedingly high. I don't think that this populace is that effed up...nor the sample size small (insert joke about small asian sample size here) .

Anyway, I've used up six month's allotment of words and smiley faces in one post, so I am done for a while. And please excuse the writing, English is my second language. Best to you all. GO HUSKIES!!

 

[DOZE860]

the level of self righteousness in this thread is quite obnoxious ...
coming from a black person who was hit with a switch..

 

[SWHuskyFan]

The good folks at Anheuser-Busch don't like the NFL's response. The linked article also mentions Pepsi as speaking out against the issues the league is having with domestic violence. Radisson has suspended its sponsorship of the Vikings due to their reinstating AP.

If you were looking to figure out how the league was going to react, follow the money. Looks like those in charge of the money are starting to get a little uncomfortable. It'll be interesting to see if the league changes positions again.

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/1...-satisfied-nfl-handling-recent-player-conduct

 

[UCHuskies08]

the level of self righteousness in this thread is quite obnoxious ...
coming from a black person who was hit with a switch..

If he did it to a dog or woman, would you say it's okay? Certainly there's no scenario where you could do that to another adult and it not be a crime.

Why is it only okay to viciously beat 4 year old children? In what way does that make any sense in the slightest? Just because it happened to you, it doesn't have to happen to others.

 

[DOZE860]

has nothing to do with hitting women or children, just some of you guys come off like you walk on water...

 

[CallMeBruce]

has nothing to do with hitting women or children, just some of you guys come off like you walk on water...

If by "walk on water," you mean "don't abuse children," then yes. It's too bad for you that your parents didn't know how to be parents, but I'm not sure how that justifies further abuse.

 

[James]

 

[jleves]

Anyone else find it odd that we can ban people for making racist remarks but not for supporting child abuse? Seems to me that kind of thought is the first thing you want to stop in society.

Only took 4 more pages for this to finally happen. Let's make it quicker next time admins! (not trying to be obnoxious - just don't need to perpetuate this kind of thought)

 

[jleves]

But I do have the ability to lock this which I should have done a couple days ago. We're done with this.