Death storm | Page 5 | The Boneyard

Death storm

Fishy

Elite Premium Poster
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
18,201
Reaction Score
132,598
Can I have the couch

Actually, yes.

Our next door neighbors, who put our last two couches in their finished basement, have already laid temporary claim to it. But if they don’t take it, you can have it.

You just have to get to New York in a vehicle big enough to carry it - I’m not helping your ass strap it to the top of a Tercel or anything like that.
 

UConnNick

from Vince Lombardi's home town
Joined
Sep 17, 2011
Messages
5,076
Reaction Score
14,066
Can I have the couch

The couch should be donated to some West Virginia U. booster group, so they can burn it to celebrate their next big victory in any sport.
 

Fishy

Elite Premium Poster
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
18,201
Reaction Score
132,598
Your wife seems like a very measured and reasonable individual.

Stop. It’s not like she had a UV black light overnighted from Amazon to check to make sure there’s no pee residue on the couch or the mattress.

57_C7151_D-7139-45_F0-_B827-9_F50_A484_EF08.jpg
 

CL82

NCAA Men’s Basketball National Champions - Again!
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
57,697
Reaction Score
212,678
Stop. It’s not like she had a UV black light overnighted from Amazon to check to make sure there’s no pee residue on the couch or the mattress.

57_C7151_D-7139-45_F0-_B827-9_F50_A484_EF08.jpg
Oh you know you are in trouble when your wife goes full CSI on you.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
7,844
Reaction Score
15,376
Stop. It’s not like she had a UV black light overnighted from Amazon to check to make sure there’s no pee residue on the couch or the mattress.

57_C7151_D-7139-45_F0-_B827-9_F50_A484_EF08.jpg

On the mattress stage we have the Havanese Fluffy! Don't forget to tip.
 

intlzncster

i fart in your general direction
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
29,091
Reaction Score
60,482
That's basically true unless you have a Siamese, they won't leave you alone. They do like to lick their butthole in front of you with no shame. Very flexible!

Sounds like Thailand.
 

polycom

I heard a beep, who just joined?
Joined
Nov 14, 2014
Messages
7,689
Reaction Score
14,522
Stop. It’s not like she had a UV black light overnighted from Amazon to check to make sure there’s no pee residue on the couch or the mattress.

57_C7151_D-7139-45_F0-_B827-9_F50_A484_EF08.jpg

She had to be amazing at something...what is it?
 
Joined
Nov 18, 2014
Messages
2,141
Reaction Score
4,754
Light-years of difference between dogs and cats.

Cats are extremely clean, to the point that they are petrified of leaving their trace anywhere, hence leaving it all in a well-contained box, buried. They also don't slobber on things.

As long as you can keep them from clawing the s___ out of your furniture, you'll barely notice them except when you want to.
Tell that to the hell beast that lost its mind in our house. Damn thing peed on every carpet and on my wife's planner which was ON the kitchen table at the time. We can't leave shoes on the floor or they get peed on too. The only thing that sorta helped was these phermone things. We have two of the plug in ones that are like the air freshener plug ins but they release kittybecool juice. One is upstairs and one is near the shoes downstairs. And the cat is also wearing a phermone collar. I hate this cat. My son's college essay was about this cat's mental breakdown and the hell that ensued.
 
Joined
Nov 18, 2014
Messages
2,141
Reaction Score
4,754
Stop. It’s not like she had a UV black light overnighted from Amazon to check to make sure there’s no pee residue on the couch or the mattress.

57_C7151_D-7139-45_F0-_B827-9_F50_A484_EF08.jpg
I bought the same one! By the way, be careful with the protective glasses you use. Those put out a lot of UV and you want good glasses.

BTW, did she lose her mind when she walked around the house with it? Some things are better left unrevealed!
 

CL82

NCAA Men’s Basketball National Champions - Again!
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
57,697
Reaction Score
212,678
I bought the same one! By the way, be careful with the protective glasses you use. Those put out a lot of UV and you want good glasses.

BTW, did she lose her mind when she walked around the house with it? Some things are better left unrevealed!
Yep, I know if I ever used one in a hotel, I'd never be able to stay in one again.

"The ceiling too? WTF?"
 

8893

Curiouser
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
29,851
Reaction Score
96,466
I bought the same one! By the way, be careful with the protective glasses you use. Those put out a lot of UV and you want good glasses.

BTW, did she lose her mind when she walked around the house with it? Some things are better left unrevealed!

Yep, I know if I ever used one in a hotel, I'd never be able to stay in one again.

"The ceiling too? WTF?"

On a somewhat related note, stains on ties often show up with blacklight. Can be embarrassing at a club or concert when in use...
 

August_West

Universal remote, put it down on docking station.
Joined
Aug 29, 2011
Messages
51,484
Reaction Score
90,239
On a somewhat related note, stains on ties often show up with blacklight. Can be embarrassing at a club or concert when in use...

What kind of stains?
 

RipCity

Absolute Savage
Joined
Apr 9, 2014
Messages
2,038
Reaction Score
10,638
The couch should be donated to some West Virginia U. booster group, so they can burn it to celebrate their next big victory in any sport.
This is random but just reminded me... After the Final Four win vs Florida in 2014 one of my friends burned a couch outside and my buddies were instantly hit with a ticket.
 

CL82

NCAA Men’s Basketball National Champions - Again!
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
57,697
Reaction Score
212,678
I like Lee Allison ties (when on sale). Each one has this reminder on the reverse:

remove_before_sex_Lee_Allison_black_white_polka_dot_tie_grande.JPG
Yep, have to get a few of these now.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
9,860
Reaction Score
9,870
Tell that to the hell beast that lost its mind in our house. Damn thing peed on every carpet and on my wife's planner which was ON the kitchen table at the time. My son's college essay was about this cat's mental breakdown and the hell that ensued.
Undoubtedly, useful academic and life lessons on the old man's tuition dole
 

Online statistics

Members online
43
Guests online
948
Total visitors
991

Forum statistics

Threads
157,651
Messages
4,117,362
Members
10,008
Latest member
macklin


Top Bottom