OT: the Tao of Married life

[8893]

OK. Let me illustrate here. I received this via facebook messenger 4 minutes ago from my wife. Innocuous in and of itself but for the record it is the 17,198th time in our marriage she has predicted the apocalypse.

The only thing this illustrates is how selfish you are worrying about your birthday when she is clearly consumed with much weightier things.

 

[David 76]

Yikes. Hang in there. Your wife deserves some leeway.

Yes she does!

 

[jleves]

So I finally have to add one which will be different but equally annoying to me. My wife has a much better understanding of Los Angeles freeways, downtown streets, and traffic patterns than I do. Whenever I'm driving and we're going through or around L.A. I will ask her the very simple question 'Which way should I go?' Invariably she will tell me about 3 or 4 different options. I will then ask again 'Which way would you go?' and she will give me the option she thinks I want.

As soon as we are past the point of no return for the way she would go as opposed to what she thinks I want to go, she will say 'You could have gone that way and it would probably be better.'

And then the argument ensues -

Me: Why didn't you tell me to go that way?
Her: I thought you wanted to go this way.
Me: I asked you to tell which way would you go.
Her: Why are you raising your voice?
Me: I asked you which way would you go, why didn't you just tell me?
Her: You don't like going that way.
Me: But I asked which would you go.
Her: Why are you raising your voice?

Obviously men and women think different and man and wife will always have disconnects, but how hard is the question 'Which way should I go?' I will never understand why there isn't one and only one answer to the question.

 

[uconnfan68]

When I was married, I would buy an expensive bottle of scotch at Christmas and have it wrapped at the package store and make the clerk write my name on the tag and no other name. Then I'd put it under the tree. She bought a million gifts so it always got blended in the shuffle. It was my little treat to tolerate her family at the holidays and she was convinced her uncle bought it for me every year.

Do you mind if I pass this along to others? Not a spirits guy, beer and wine are enough, but that is absolutely classic.

 

[Fishy]

Obviously men and women think different and man and wife will always have disconnects, but how hard is the question 'Which way should I go?' I will never understand why there isn't one and only one answer to the question.

Does she know how close she is to getting stranded at the top of a mountain? Does she know who she's arguing with?

I almost feel like I should warn her.

 

[jleves]

Does she know how close she is to getting stranded at the top of a mountain? Does she know who she's arguing with?

I almost feel like I should warn her.

I wonder how many people on the board will even get this.

 

[August_West]

So I finally have to add one which will be different but equally annoying to me. My wife has a much better understanding of Los Angeles freeways, downtown streets, and traffic patterns than I do. Whenever I'm driving and we're going through or around L.A. I will ask her the very simple question 'Which way should I go?' Invariably she will tell me about 3 or 4 different options. I will then ask again 'Which way would you go?' and she will give me the option she thinks I want.

As soon as we are past the point of no return for the way she would go as opposed to what she thinks I want to go, she will say 'You could have gone that way and it would probably be better.'

And then the argument ensues -

Me: Why didn't you tell me to go that way?
Her: I thought you wanted to go this way.
Me: I asked you to tell which way would you go.
Her: Why are you raising your voice?
Me: I asked you which way would you go, why didn't you just tell me?
Her: You don't like going that way.
Me: But I asked which would you go.
Her: Why are you raising your voice?

Obviously men and women think different and man and wife will always have disconnects, but how hard is the question 'Which way should I go?' I will never understand why there isn't one and only one answer to the question.

It's a puzzler for sure, but I'm more troubled by you taking driving directions from a woman. That is unacceptable according to man code. You are breaking a long standing tradition and understanding. If you don't know where you're going, pretend you do. Or you know there is a thing today called Google maps or even better; Waze which will always pick best route.

 

[Dogbreath2U]

I wonder how many people on the board will even get this.

It's a good thing that there aren't too many snow covered mountains near Southern California.

 

[Deepster]

Do you mind if I pass this along to others? Not a spirits guy, beer and wine are enough, but that is absolutely classic.

I'd be honored, fine sir. And if you're going with wine, don't skimp out here. Really treat yourself. You deserve it!

 

[Deepster]

My scotch story reminded me of another one. I worked with a guy who was really henpecked. He worked like a dog and his wife got laid off and never went back to the workplace. She kept going for things like massage therapist and it'd fall out of interest halfway through. This was maybe 15 years ago. The guy literally had one step up from a black and white 19 inch tube television. Every time he'd mention to her about getting a nice flat screen, she'd bite his head off. She was a reader (newspapers and magazines) and would just sit there, no matter what TV he was watching so it didn't matter to her.

I broke it down to him one day something like this: "Listen. A new 52 inch flat screen is what? $1,400? It will last you 10 years. That's 140.00 a year. If you watch it, say 250 days a year, that's $0.56 a day. She gets the paper delivered, right? That's $0.50 a day. All those magazine subscriptions? Books? She's worth $0.50 a day not working but you aren't when you work a full time job and bust your hump all week?"

He got so whipped up into a lather he went home that night and ripped her a new one. Then got himself a new TV that weekend....and a fifth of bourbon. And he sat in front of his new TV drinking his bourbon like a big ol' fat cat.

 

[ctchamps]

I come here for solace. My normally patient, caring wife came down with Grave's Disease 4-5 months ago. Graves is a form of hyper-thyroid which also is also an auto-immune disease. She is exhausted and often in pain and awaiting a thyroidectomy. Very sad

Other symptoms of this are irritability, occasional thyroid rages, and an absolute certainty that anything that has ever gone wrong is entirely my fault. Her memory has become crystal clear and any mistake I ever made, she has remembered and relives in cyclic fashion. All those mistakes (and I have a lot) are viewed as totally intentional and proof of my utter worthlessness as a human being.

Other than that, things are fine.

Thank goodness the outcome for this is very good and surgery can correct this. Hang in there. Really demonstrates how the brain is impacted by things. But you know this already. So many people really struggle to understand why we think so differently from one another. They presume that people can change easily. Unlike hyperthyroidism the way we view the world differently from one another is a lot more complex.

 

[jleves]

It's a good thing that there aren't too many snow covered mountains near Southern California.

Au Contraire

 

[ctchamps]

I guess that I'm just lucky. Been married for 55 years to a woman I've known nearly all of my life. We grew up in the same small-town neighborhood and went to school together but never dated until after high school when she expressed an interest in cruisin' in my '52 Ford Victoria after we closed the pool where we both worked as lifeguards. (And she still looks great!) She even bought beer for me when the state law said she could do so at 18 but I had to be 21. She liked cars, cruisin', and beer - wow, the gold standard. She's sweet, never pushy, completely loyal, a great mother, and my best friend.and she still enjoys cruisin' old two-lane highways, although we no longer drink. My sympathy goes out to those who didn't find one like her.

Oh sure, she'll express an opinion when she doesn't like something; like, "Are you going to wear that shirt?" Okay, she thinks I should wear another shirt and I can live with that. She's a notorious giver-awayer of stuff to charities and I've learned to just surrender something to the donation, whether or not I'm finished using/wearing it. She prefers that I not keep "stuff" like tires, wheels, my old Schwinn bicycle, etc. even though I continue to do so. Very small prices to pay in return for the wife that I have. Everyone should be so fortunate.

Really beautiful story but given that this is The Boneyard your remarks cannot be left without some comment.

I know that you did not express it but do you think that those of us who are writing about our spouses in this thread (outside of @Deepster) feel any differently then you do about our spouses? Or are you saying women who do things in a way that's different then the way we men would do them are not up to the standards of your wife? Good thing for you this forum is anonymous because if either of these questions were in the affirmative you would be in hot water. And if the women mentioned in these threads (outside of your wife) saw your post, you would end up skewered, because unlike the rest of us, you would have no way of handling their responses to you.

Which leads me to another point. We've had tons of time dealing with their contrarian behavior and have become evolutionarily strong. It's a competition. Victories are tough for us. When we win them we know we've earned our national championships. We're the men's bb team. We don't blow out the competition every game. Our success is hard fought. You're the women's bb team. You don't invite viewership to the scale we attain.

We wear our battle scars proudly and have lots of entertaining anecdotes to present at parties. And our spouses can claim the same. We are the epitome of western development which has pushed forth the proposition that women have every right to be equally as stupid as the male species. We are the success stories. Not you my friend.

Of course I have trouble believing everything you say. Perhaps you wife is every bit as ornery or obtuse or whatever as our wives and you lack the insight to know you're being tooled. Or maybe, unlike the rest of us, you have been unable to break away from the spell or drugs your wife has used to control you and make you oblivious to this control. At first I admired you. But after some consideration I've come to pity you. I wouldn't trade my 42 years of marital spice for marital blandness. I don't need to put ketchup on my "bird" (English and American version implied). Red on us is the real deal.

My suggestion to you is understand that we are fortunate and you are fortunate. Just in different ways. And yes. Just as the posts I've made in this thread my comments are tongue in cheek. I laugh at no one and every one at the same time. Misery loves company and insists on everyone join the party. You looked lonely my friend.

 

[Dogbreath2U]

Au Contraire

View attachment 13280

Rut roh. Danger, danger Will Robinson!!! (or Mrs. jleves)!!!

 

[ctchamps]

I wonder how many people on the board will even get this.

Vague memory of a story posted. Wasn't there a reference of mountain snow, nudity and some woman? Or am I completely wrong?

 

[David 76]

Thank goodness the outcome for this is very good and surgery can correct this. Hang in there. Really demonstrates how the brain is impacted by things. But you know this already. So many people really struggle to understand why we think so differently from one another. They presume that people can change easily. Unlike hyperthyroidism the way we view the world differently from one another is a lot more complex.

Tomorrow is surgery day!

 

[Dogbreath2U]

Tomorrow is surgery day!

Best wishes for a great outcome!

 

[David 76]

Thanks DB. It is a pretty simple operation.

 

[Dogbreath2U]

Thanks DB. It is a pretty simple operation.

I thought so, but I don't really know the details.

 

[David 76]

It is major surgery, but thyroid is about as good as it gets.

 

[Chin Diesel]

Thanks DB. It is a pretty simple operation.

Minor surgery is surgery done on someone else.

 

[August_West]

Best wishes for a great outcome!

 

[ctchamps]

Tomorrow is surgery day!

Prayers for you and your wife.

 

[uconnfan68]

It's a good thing that there aren't too many snow covered mountains near Southern California.

Just a 2 hour drive.

 

[Bliss]

Really beautiful story but given that this is The Boneyard your remarks cannot be left without some comment.

I know that you did not express it but do you think that those of us who are writing about our spouses in this thread (outside of @Deepster) feel any differently then you do about our spouses? Or are you saying women who do things in a way that's different then the way we men would do them are not up to the standards of your wife? Good thing for you this forum is anonymous because if either of these questions were in the affirmative you would be in hot water. And if the women mentioned in these threads (outside of your wife) saw your post, you would end up skewered, because unlike the rest of us, you would have no way of handling their responses to you.

Which leads me to another point. We've had tons of time dealing with their contrarian behavior and have become evolutionarily strong. It's a competition. Victories are tough for us. When we win them we know we've earned our national championships. We're the men's bb team. We don't blow out the competition every game. Our success is hard fought. You're the women's bb team. You don't invite viewership to the scale we attain.

We wear our battle scars proudly and have lots of entertaining anecdotes to present at parties. And our spouses can claim the same. We are the epitome of western development which has pushed forth the proposition that women have every right to be equally as stupid as the male species. We are the success stories. Not you my friend.

Of course I have trouble believing everything you say. Perhaps you wife is every bit as ornery or obtuse or whatever as our wives and you lack the insight to know you're being tooled. Or maybe, unlike the rest of us, you have been unable to break away from the spell or drugs your wife has used to control you and make you oblivious to this control. At first I admired you. But after some consideration I've come to pity you. I wouldn't trade my 42 years of marital spice for marital blandness. I don't need to put ketchup on my "bird" (English and American version implied). Red on us is the real deal.

My suggestion to you is understand that we are fortunate and you are fortunate. Just in different ways. And yes. Just as the posts I've made in this thread my comments are tongue in cheek. I laugh at no one and every one at the same time. Misery loves company and insists on everyone join the party. You looked lonely my friend.

To each his own, pal.