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OT: What was your most recent random thought? Mines...

A good friend sent a collection of funny snippets taken from church bulletins around the country. They were all harmless, funny, generally poorly written, and yet each perfectly understandable. It got me to musing as to what makes things funny. And further to are funny things funny to most people, some people, or few people.

My three favorites were as follows:

1) "The meeting of the low self esteem group will be held in the church tonight. Please use the back door."

2 ) "The weight watchers meeting will be held at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church, Please use the large double door at the side entrance."

3) "The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend that tragedy."
My wife was a church office manager and almost authored an oops herself. I forget the details but it could be read as sexually suggestive (it wasn't). But the Pastor thankfully caught it before printing. It is easy to do and relates to my random thought above also.
 
Most recent random thought.....well we're down 966, maybe this time the market is really gonna crash.......ugh...!
 
What would the world be like if there always was, and always will be, just one race and one religion...and if the typical woman was physically stronger than the typical man?
 
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When did supposedly educated folk (including newspaper writers and ad designers) suddenly decide that it isn't necessary to spell correctly or use decent grammar? I find at least one (obvious) error in almost every newspaper or magazine I read. And I am only an average speller and I'm not the grammar police, either. But it can be jarring.
The writers never could spell, the problem is the newspapers stopped paying for proof readers! :)
 
What would the world be like if there always was, and always will be, just one race and one religion...and if the typical woman was physically stronger than the typical man?
Boring!
 
Filling out on line forms is a pain in the you know where.
 
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I’m thinking that if the season doesn’t start soon, there will be people asking if the asylum gets SKY Network.
 
will one chicken finger and a spoonful of mac and cheese be enough for dinner?
 
What would the world be like if there always was, and always will be, just one race and one religion...and if the typical woman was physically stronger than the typical man?
AAAAh! I get the chit kicked out of me as it is. Don't wonder such awful things...
 
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I’m thinking that if the season doesn’t start soon, there will be people asking if the asylum gets SKY Network.
Mine does, thank you.
 
What would the world be like if there always was, and always will be, just one race and one religion...and if the typical woman was physically stronger than the typical man?
Would have to be better.
Couldn’t be much worse.
I say let’s roll the dice....
 
When did supposedly educated folk (including newspaper writers and ad designers) suddenly decide that it isn't necessary to spell correctly or use decent grammar? I find at least one (obvious) error in almost every newspaper or magazine I read. And I am only an average speller and I'm not the grammar police, either. But it can be jarring.
And when did they stop using the words mother and father (as opposed to mom and dad)?
 
When did stopping at a stop sign become optional?
Lawdy miss clawdy, last Friday, I was crossing (in a crosswalk) from the first row of parking spaces to the front of the grocery store, when someone makes a left turn, blowing through the stop sign, within the parking lot, doing about 25. Needless to say he didn't have his signal light, which might have given me a clue he'd be barreling in to me. He missed me by a foot or two, only because I jumped back.
Continued speeding down the lot, ignoring other pedestrians, and parked in the fire lane.
 
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Lawdy miss clawdy, last Friday, I was crossing (in a crosswalk) from the first row of parking spaces to the front of the grocery store, when someone makes a left turn, blowing through the stop sign, within the parking lot, doing about 25. Needless to say he didn't have his signal light, which might have given me a clue he'd be barreling in to me. He missed me by a foot or two, only because I jumped back.
Continued speeding down the lot, ignoring other pedestrians, and parked in the fire lane.
Here in Arizona it is a different vibe. I know these seem contradictory but -

1 - if you are crossing a lane on foot in the parking lot, turn your head away from on-coming traffic and just keep walking. (Apparently, either they don't want to see what's coming or want to have plausible deniability that they stepped out in traffic.) So you have to be very, very careful in lots.

2 - conversely, as the driver, simply ignore anyone trying to pull out of a parking spot (unless you want it). Speed around their back end if necessary as they are backing up. (In NJ most folks did yield to the car backing up, probably because in NJ they assumed the person backing up would just keep going into them).

And, as someone noted, not only are stop signs (and red lights) optional in Tucson, so are speed limits. We have very few highways, but the way folks drive on the streets it isn't any wonder we have had a lot of pedestrians killed over the years.
 
Here in Arizona it is a different vibe. I know these seem contradictory but -

1 - if you are crossing a lane on foot in the parking lot, turn your head away from on-coming traffic and just keep walking. (Apparently, either they don't want to see what's coming or want to have plausible deniability that they stepped out in traffic.) So you have to be very, very careful in lots.

2 - conversely, as the driver, simply ignore anyone trying to pull out of a parking spot (unless you want it). Speed around their back end if necessary as they are backing up. (In NJ most folks did yield to the car backing up, probably because in NJ they assumed the person backing up would just keep going into them).

And, as someone noted, not only are stop signs (and red lights) optional in Tucson, so are speed limits. We have very few highways, but the way folks drive on the streets it isn't any wonder we have had a lot of pedestrians killed over the years.
Yes, to put it another way -- in some places, eye contact makes drivers stop, in others it makes the pedestrian stop. And in some places, running stop lights is the norm, while in others, taking off as soon as (or a little before) a light turns green is the norm, and running a red light will almost certainly cause an accident. One has to know the local driving curtoms.

That's why driving around DC is so scary -- there aren't all that many natives, so there isn't a uniform driving culture.
 
Lawdy miss clawdy, last Friday, I was crossing (in a crosswalk) from the first row of parking spaces to the front of the grocery store, when someone makes a left turn, blowing through the stop sign, within the parking lot, doing about 25. Needless to say he didn't have his signal light, which might have given me a clue he'd be barreling in to me. He missed me by a foot or two, only because I jumped back.
Continued speeding down the lot, ignoring other pedestrians, and parked in the fire lane.
When i was a kid I had a job working at a Kroger's grocery store. The parking lot was very large, and my first job was collecting the shopping carts that people left here , there , and everywhere throughout the lot. There was a curb that separated the upper and lower lots , and one opening through the curb in a clearly marked space that allowed us to move said carts from the lower lot to the storefront. One evening a lady in a big Caddy came roaring past me and my twenty odd carts, and she turned the corner and drove into the upper lot in search of a parking space near the store entrance. And of course she whipped right into the clearly marked "Do Not Park" spot where I was bound with my line of carts. As she got out I hollered to her to please move, and she just kept going. But I managed to get twenty some carts through the now too narrow gap between the curb and her left fender. Well I pushed twenty some carts down the left side of that Caddy and into the cart row in front of the store. By then it was my break time, and I heard some loud squawking coming from the lot as I sat in the drug store drinking my Coke. I never saw that Caddy in the lot again. Probably not the right thing to do, but it somehow lent a karmic glow to my 15 year old conscience.
 
Yes, to put it another way -- in some places, eye contact makes drivers stop, in others it makes the pedestrian stop. And in some places, running stop lights is the norm, while in others, taking off as soon as (or a little before) a light turns green is the norm, and running a red light will almost certainly cause an accident. One has to know the local driving curtoms.

That's why driving around DC is so scary -- there aren't all that many natives, so there isn't a uniform driving culture.
Driving in DC is a cake walk compared to here in Vegas. You have people going 65 in a 35 mile zone, at least 3 cars running a red light after it's changed. Pedestrians have to have their head on swivel when crossing a road, even when they are in a flashing yellow crosswalk where the motorist is required to stop.
 
I grew up and live in NJ for about 33 years, CT for about 33 years. When ever I go back to NJ (rarely) I'm impressed that the state sport seems be be going down the parkway in stop and go traffic with the drivers behind me zipping into to "on ramp" and zooming ahead maybe 4 or 5 cars and then merging back into the slow lane. What nonsense. Now the guy behind me is now 30 yards in front of me. Makes me want to get a CCDL decal for my back window. Not that they would know what that means...
 
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I would LOVE to know that answer.
The meaning of like and which side of aluminum foil faces up.
I always put the dull side down, and the shiny side up. "Dull in the dark, shiny in the light".
 
I saw the answer to this recently. According to the manufacturers, the way the aluminum goes through rollers makes one side shiny and the other dull and which side is up makes no difference. For non-stick foil there is a correct side the food should be in contact with.
Thanks for this info, but I will not share your answer with my husband. After years of teaching him about "dull in the dark, shiny in the light", I'm not about to retrain him.
 
If mirrors were never invented, how would you know what you looked like?
 
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