OT: - What was your most recent random thought? Mines... | Page 2 | The Boneyard

OT: What was your most recent random thought? Mines...

A good friend sent a collection of funny snippets taken from church bulletins around the country. They were all harmless, funny, generally poorly written, and yet each perfectly understandable. It got me to musing as to what makes things funny. And further to are funny things funny to most people, some people, or few people.

My three favorites were as follows:

1) "The meeting of the low self esteem group will be held in the church tonight. Please use the back door."

2 ) "The weight watchers meeting will be held at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church, Please use the large double door at the side entrance."

3) "The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend that tragedy."
 
A good friend sent a collection of funny snippets taken from church bulletins around the country. They were all harmless, funny, generally poorly written, and yet each perfectly understandable. It got me to musing as to what makes things funny. And further to are funny things funny to most people, some people, or few people.

My three favorites were as follows:

1) "The meeting of the low self esteem group will be held in the church tonight. Please use the back door."

2 ) "The weight watchers meeting will be held at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church, Please use the large double door at the side entrance."

3) "The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend that tragedy."
My wife was a church office manager and almost authored an oops herself. I forget the details but it could be read as sexually suggestive (it wasn't). But the Pastor thankfully caught it before printing. It is easy to do and relates to my random thought above also.
 
What would the world be like if there always was, and always will be, just one race and one religion...and if the typical woman was physically stronger than the typical man?
 
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When did supposedly educated folk (including newspaper writers and ad designers) suddenly decide that it isn't necessary to spell correctly or use decent grammar? I find at least one (obvious) error in almost every newspaper or magazine I read. And I am only an average speller and I'm not the grammar police, either. But it can be jarring.
The writers never could spell, the problem is the newspapers stopped paying for proof readers! :)
 
What would the world be like if there always was, and always will be, just one race and one religion...and if the typical woman was physically stronger than the typical man?
Boring!
 
Filling out on line forms is a pain in the you know where.
 
I’m thinking that if the season doesn’t start soon, there will be people asking if the asylum gets SKY Network.
 
will one chicken finger and a spoonful of mac and cheese be enough for dinner?
 
What would the world be like if there always was, and always will be, just one race and one religion...and if the typical woman was physically stronger than the typical man?
AAAAh! I get the chit kicked out of me as it is. Don't wonder such awful things...
 
I’m thinking that if the season doesn’t start soon, there will be people asking if the asylum gets SKY Network.
Mine does, thank you.
 
What would the world be like if there always was, and always will be, just one race and one religion...and if the typical woman was physically stronger than the typical man?
Would have to be better.
Couldn’t be much worse.
I say let’s roll the dice....
 
When did supposedly educated folk (including newspaper writers and ad designers) suddenly decide that it isn't necessary to spell correctly or use decent grammar? I find at least one (obvious) error in almost every newspaper or magazine I read. And I am only an average speller and I'm not the grammar police, either. But it can be jarring.
And when did they stop using the words mother and father (as opposed to mom and dad)?
 
When did stopping at a stop sign become optional?
Lawdy miss clawdy, last Friday, I was crossing (in a crosswalk) from the first row of parking spaces to the front of the grocery store, when someone makes a left turn, blowing through the stop sign, within the parking lot, doing about 25. Needless to say he didn't have his signal light, which might have given me a clue he'd be barreling in to me. He missed me by a foot or two, only because I jumped back.
Continued speeding down the lot, ignoring other pedestrians, and parked in the fire lane.
 
Lawdy miss clawdy, last Friday, I was crossing (in a crosswalk) from the first row of parking spaces to the front of the grocery store, when someone makes a left turn, blowing through the stop sign, within the parking lot, doing about 25. Needless to say he didn't have his signal light, which might have given me a clue he'd be barreling in to me. He missed me by a foot or two, only because I jumped back.
Continued speeding down the lot, ignoring other pedestrians, and parked in the fire lane.
Here in Arizona it is a different vibe. I know these seem contradictory but -

1 - if you are crossing a lane on foot in the parking lot, turn your head away from on-coming traffic and just keep walking. (Apparently, either they don't want to see what's coming or want to have plausible deniability that they stepped out in traffic.) So you have to be very, very careful in lots.

2 - conversely, as the driver, simply ignore anyone trying to pull out of a parking spot (unless you want it). Speed around their back end if necessary as they are backing up. (In NJ most folks did yield to the car backing up, probably because in NJ they assumed the person backing up would just keep going into them).

And, as someone noted, not only are stop signs (and red lights) optional in Tucson, so are speed limits. We have very few highways, but the way folks drive on the streets it isn't any wonder we have had a lot of pedestrians killed over the years.
 

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