I'll play along.
First of all, there's a difference between "hitting a nerve" and being accurate. Of course you've stirred up a lot of anger. Does it make your suspicions correct or their anger rational? Maybe, but not inherently.
In my mind, what it boils down to is something that some people do not recognize: communication among presidents occurs on a completely different plane than communication between presidents and the media, the fanbase, and the general public. Herbst's gaffe may have motivated a good number of y'all to gather torches and pitchforks, but reading articles about poorly-worded speeches in the Hartford Courant is not how any of the presidents of Big 12 member schools are gathering their information. I admit I'm not the most knowledgeable poster here on CR, but I'd assume that presentations and negotiations occur on a one-to-one basis between current member presidents and candidate presents (or back channels, i.e. Tranghese). So, I think the one thing we can both agree on is that nobody here knows what's going on when UConn is engaged in that mode of communication. However, I don't find it prudent to use this article to extrapolate to the kind of communication that actually determines whether or not UConn gets the invite, private communication with B12 university reps. To surmise that Herbst and company are taking the same approach that was taken in that interview when they're meeting under-the-radar with B12 presidents and conference officials is wishful thinking, taken and ran with by a fan base that is justifiably antsy about the whole process and generally pissed that nothing good has happened yet. The AD knows that where the university really needs to shine is in these meetings, even though some posters will moan and complain about how Houston and Memphis getting good word out in the media means the B12 presidents are going to choose them.
Lastly, it's pretty apparent that she's not going to address Whaler the fan/donor in the same way that she's going to address Greg Fenves or David Boren. That's not meant as a slight towards you, but how many votes do you have when they're all sitting down at the table? I'll admit freely that this delivery was not a smart move on her part in regards to motivating the fan base (That's really the purpose of these pieces - rallying the troops and imploring them to buy tickets/donate. Does anyone honestly think that when Jeff Jacobs emerges from his cave every few months, he's addressing his columns to the powers that be?) It was a failure at communicating effectively with the fanbase, and if people who donate more money than I do feel upset about it, then they can go ahead. But do I think that this incident can be used as evidence that the administration screws up similarly when they're negotiating behind closed doors? No, I don't.