Tremont Waters father is found dead in West Haven | Page 2 | The Boneyard

Tremont Waters father is found dead in West Haven

superjohn said:
Awful, that was my first thought. Depression is the worst, you would think this would be the happiest time of his life watching his son make the NBA but that's not how it works.
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Have to wonder if he was waiting for that contract, or if the news affected him somehow. Tremont can take care of the family now--could make up to 500k or so this year.
 
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If someone has depression, they might imagine that achieving some particular goal will be the thing that makes them happy. If they achieve that thing but are still sad (because they are sad due to an illness and not based on an accurate reflection of their situation) they may become even further depressed. So it's not all that unusual to hear about suicide at what would be expected to be the happiest time of one's life.
 
Leebo said:
If someone has depression, they might imagine that achieving some particular goal will be the thing that makes them happy. If they achieve that thing but are still sad (because they are sad due to an illness and not based on an accurate reflection of their situation) they may become even further depressed. So it's not all that unusual to hear about suicide at what would be expected to be the happiest time of one's life.
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Very accurate and well stated.
 
Terrible news. His son essentially grew up at Farnam House. His dad was there all the time. Hard to wrap my mind around this story...
 
superjohn said:
Awful, that was my first thought. Depression is the worst, you would think this would be the happiest time of his life watching his son make the NBA but that's not how it works.
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Agree, and thanks for helping Chief process this sad news. I was struggling given Ed’s involvement in Tremont’s game, understanding why he would commit suicide at the biggest moment in his son’s career. It did not make sense to me. But, now I realize it doesn’t need to make sense, it almost inherently can’t.
 
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Chief00 said:
Agree, and thanks for helping Chief process this sad news. I was struggling given Ed’s involvement in Tremont’s game, understanding why he would commit suicide at the biggest moment in his son’s career. It did not make sense to me. But, now I realize it doesn’t need to make sense, it almost inherently can’t.
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The logic is: If the best thing that can ever happen to me and those I love can't make me happy, then nothing can ever make me happy. Therefore, my life is hopeless.

It makes sense in a perverted way. To resist it helps to have religious faith, which provides a ground for hope even when all worldly affairs seem hopeless.
 
NJHoops said:
Faith doesn’t do much to change brain chemistry. In the depths of depression, people can absolutely convince themselves that everyone they love is better off without them.
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Probably a different discussion for a different day/thread. But faith absolutely has an affect on brain chemistry. I wouldn’t advocate anyone to do away with actual medical remedies. But a mixture of both is at times effective. Things like prayer/meditation have significant effects on brain chemistry
 
Amazing what you can learn from the BY. Seriously in this case I've never studied about or had personal views of the disease (it is right?). Amazing what some of you know and theorize through either study or unfortunate personal history. I've gained a new perspective and it's scarier than I ever thought.

I hope Tremont and his family can somehow cope with this and get through the pain together. I was watching the highlights with my son of the C's Memphis summer game when we heard this news. Both discussing how good he looked as well as the possibilities of him staying on the roster. Then boom, life can be so devastating.
 
NJHoops said:
Faith doesn’t do much to change brain chemistry. In the depths of depression, people can absolutely convince themselves that everyone they love is better off without them.
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There is a correlation in USA between faith and lower suicide rates, at least in kids. I think that is less true in Europe if I remember correctly.

Is it changing brain chemistry, or creating a culture that makes suicide less acceptable/normal, more of a taboo (not sure of the word I'm looking for here)? Hard to say. Would be interested to learn more though.

Former student passed by his own hand a few weeks ago, actually. The horrific thing is it happens so much it doesn't feel surprising any more. Young men in particular seem to be incredibly successful when they attempt suicide. I think men/boys are 4/5 successful attempts. I'm still not numb to the feeling exactly, still quite upset.. but it just feels like an inevitability at this point when it happens.

Yarders: 1-800-273-8255 suicide prevention hotline

Use it. If you don't need it, memorize it. Get business cards from them. Share it with family. Whatever you have to do. I know 2 people who called, and a lot more I wish did.
 
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Mazhude said:
Terrible news. His son essentially grew up at Farnam House. His dad was there all the time. Hard to wrap my mind around this story...
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here's a thought for some BY action. having been in and around farnam for a long while, I admire the sincere work they do for kids.. howza bout donating some cash, or time, to them?
 
AntG168 said:
Probably a different discussion for a different day/thread. But faith absolutely has an affect on brain chemistry. I wouldn’t advocate anyone to do away with actual medical remedies. But a mixture of both is at times effective. Things like prayer/meditation have significant effects on brain chemistry
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We’re following a couple different lines of conversation here, and people should always do what helps. Things like meditation and physical exercise can provide relief for some people, almost always in combination with medication and/or therapy and rarely in the midst of a significant depressive episode. These things are active practices and strategies that people are choosing to use and tend to be inaccessible when people are struggling the most and considering suicide. Just having a belief in religion to instill a sense of hope in the world can be beneficial for healthy people, but it doesn’t do much to counteract what is going on in one’s brain during a significant depressive episode. For those that do this work, it’s been very heartening that the conversations and mindset about depression and suicide are somewhat evolving. Talk like what’s happening in this thread is just so important.
 
NJHoops said:
We’re following a couple different lines of conversation here, and people should always do what helps. Things like meditation and physical exercise can provide relief for some people, almost always in combination with medication and/or therapy and rarely in the midst of a significant depressive episode. These things are active practices and strategies that people are choosing to use and tend to be inaccessible when people are struggling the most and considering suicide. Just having a belief in religion to instill a sense of hope in the world can be beneficial for healthy people, but it doesn’t do much to counteract what is going on in one’s brain during a significant depressive episode. For those that do this work, it’s been very heartening that the conversations and mindset about depression and suicide are somewhat evolving. Talk like what’s happening in this thread is just so important.
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Depends how you define faith. There's people who have faith based on just hopes and there's people who have faith based on heavy reasoning. The ones who have faith based on reasoning can actually reason their way out of depression, especially with the help of someone who has mastered perspective.
 

He wanted what we all want for our kids - a better life.
While there always the risk of getting too involved due to love, when you compare that to the alternative - little or no involvement/support. I will take Ed’s way every day.
After the LSU thing went down and Chief wasn’t born yesterday - Chief’s position was you have to do what you have to do. I never second guessed him on that.
 
ClifSpliffy said:
here's a thought for some BY action. having been in and around farnam for a long while, I admire the sincere work they do for kids.. howza bout donating some cash, or time, to them?
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Big fan of Farnam. I've seen them change so many lives over the years.
 
kicaone said:
I had the pleasure to meet him many times. Every conversation we had was about his desire to make young men better not only his son. Sad to hear of his passing.
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He did the things we would hope all Dads would do to protect and elevate his son's lot in life and then left him with no warning or explanation. What a burden to leave your son with after apparently investing so much of yourself to prepare him for the future.

Were there likely warning signs people didn't pick up on or is depression very hard to notice? [/QUOTE]
 
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superjohn said:
Tremont is an incredibly tough kid, I'll be rooting as hard for him to make it as any UConn kid.
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I agree, that’s very inspirational. This is how you succeed in hoops at 5-11. Got to love his toughness - almost can’t imagine the emotions he’s dealing with.
 
Scrutiner said:
He did the things we would hope all Dads would do to protect and elevate his son's lot in life and then left him with no warning or explanation. What a burden to leave your son with after apparently investing so much of yourself to prepare him for the future.

Were there likely warning signs people didn't pick up on or is depression very hard to notice?
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[/QUOTE]

Most people who struggle don't talk about it or show their weakness. They usually feel and look fine to the everyday person they interact with. It's not until they are alone when the illness rears its ugly head and the bad thoughts and not feeling like you're good enough or done enough and can't do anything to be happy no hard you try start to take over.

Horrible awful illness that isn't understood by most and often brushed aside as its not that serious
 
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