OT: Things Other Parents Let Their Kids Get Away With.....

[uconn13]

Weiterleitungshinweis

kids got a future as a pro fisherman

 

[Mots010]

Then why take them there

Restaurants do take-out. There are nannies out there.

Nannies? Maybe if you're Rockefeller. I'm exaggerating obviously, but nannies are expensive. Baby sitters are expensive too, and is often not worth the hassle.

I have a 2 and a 5 year old, and a restaurant/brewery is just about the last place I want to be with them, and I avoid it at all costs. However, we will occasionally get invited to something where the only option is to tow the kids along, and it usually sucks. You'll probably be annoyed at my kids running around, but I guarantee it's 1000x worse for me...it is what it is.

One of the underrated impacts of parenthood is the isolation. You are now responsible for these living things, and keeping up with old friends is nearly impossible, especially if they don't have kids. If you're lucky, you have good neighbors, which makes it easier to maintain friends.

You wake up and it's insanity until the kids are on the bus, or dropped off at day care. Both my wife and I are off to our full time jobs. Then, in the evening, it pick up time, and by the time I fix them some food, it's probably 6-630pm. Maybe we have time for a walk with the dog if the weather is good, then it's bedtime. and by the time that's done, we may have 1 hour to ourselves to catch up, or watch a show. 90 minute Game of Thrones episodes means we're not getting to bed until midnight! As the kids get older, the weekends get filled with activities.

Sometimes those parents at the brewery are enjoying one of the few times they get to socialize.

 

[CL82]

Nannies? Maybe if you're Rockefeller. I'm exaggerating obviously, but nannies are expensive. Baby sitters are expensive too, and is often not worth the hassle.

I have a 2 and a 5 year old, and a restaurant/brewery is just about the last place I want to be with them, and I avoid it at all costs. However, we will occasionally get invited to something where the only option is to tow the kids along, and it usually sucks. You'll probably be annoyed at my kids running around, but I guarantee it's 1000x worse for me...it is what it is.

One of the underrated impacts of parenthood is the isolation. You are now responsible for these living things, and keeping up with old friends is nearly impossible, especially if they don't have kids. If you're lucky, you have good neighbors, which makes it easier to maintain friends.

You wake up and it's insanity until the kids are on the bus, or dropped off at day care. Both my wife and I are off to our full time jobs. Then, in the evening, it pick up time, and by the time I fix them some food, it's probably 6-630pm. Maybe we have time for a walk with the dog if the weather is good, then it's bedtime. and by the time that's done, we may have 1 hour to ourselves to catch up, or watch a show. 90 minute Game of Thrones episodes means we're not getting to bed until midnight! As the kids get older, the weekends get filled with activities.

Sometimes those parents at the brewery are enjoying one of the few times they get to socialize.

Then your kids' friends/teammate's parents end up becoming your friends. Then your kids go off to college and you get pick the ones you actually like spending time with.

 

[Husky25]

Nannies? Maybe if you're Rockefeller. I'm exaggerating obviously, but nannies are expensive. Baby sitters are expensive too, and is often not worth the hassle.

I have a 2 and a 5 year old, and a restaurant/brewery is just about the last place I want to be with them, and I avoid it at all costs. However, we will occasionally get invited to something where the only option is to tow the kids along, and it usually sucks. You'll probably be annoyed at my kids running around, but I guarantee it's 1000x worse for me...it is what it is.

One of the underrated impacts of parenthood is the isolation. You are now responsible for these living things, and keeping up with old friends is nearly impossible, especially if they don't have kids. If you're lucky, you have good neighbors, which makes it easier to maintain friends.

You wake up and it's insanity until the kids are on the bus, or dropped off at day care. Both my wife and I are off to our full time jobs. Then, in the evening, it pick up time, and by the time I fix them some food, it's probably 6-630pm. Maybe we have time for a walk with the dog if the weather is good, then it's bedtime. and by the time that's done, we may have 1 hour to ourselves to catch up, or watch a show. 90 minute Game of Thrones episodes means we're not getting to bed until midnight! As the kids get older, the weekends get filled with activities.

Sometimes those parents at the brewery are enjoying one of the few times they get to socialize.

Nannies only make sense for three or more school aged (or younger) children. Decent daycare for two is nearly an extra mortgage payment as it is.

Take out is an option for those of whom kids are really a problem. Most of the establishments that welcome children will even bring your food to your car.

 

[Rocktheworld]

Nannies? Maybe if you're Rockefeller. I'm exaggerating obviously, but nannies are expensive. Baby sitters are expensive too,

No they aren’t. Pay the 16 year old neighbor 50 bucks for dinner and a few drinks.

and is often not worth the hassle.

I thought that whatever frustration we experience is 1000-fold worse for poor you. Not worth the hassle?

 

[Mots010]

No they aren’t. Pay the 16 year old neighbor 50 bucks for dinner and a few drinks.

I thought that whatever frustration we experience is 1000-fold worse for poor you. Not worth the hassle?

You're just trolling at this point. Enjoy the kids at your favorite spot!

 

[Rocktheworld]

You're just trolling at this point.

Definitely not

 

[Zanzman]

Nannies? Maybe if you're Rockefeller. I'm exaggerating obviously, but nannies are expensive. Baby sitters are expensive too, and is often not worth the hassle.

I have a 2 and a 5 year old, and a restaurant/brewery is just about the last place I want to be with them, and I avoid it at all costs. However, we will occasionally get invited to something where the only option is to tow the kids along, and it usually sucks. You'll probably be annoyed at my kids running around, but I guarantee it's 1000x worse for me...it is what it is.

One of the underrated impacts of parenthood is the isolation. You are now responsible for these living things, and keeping up with old friends is nearly impossible, especially if they don't have kids. If you're lucky, you have good neighbors, which makes it easier to maintain friends.

You wake up and it's insanity until the kids are on the bus, or dropped off at day care. Both my wife and I are off to our full time jobs. Then, in the evening, it pick up time, and by the time I fix them some food, it's probably 6-630pm. Maybe we have time for a walk with the dog if the weather is good, then it's bedtime. and by the time that's done, we may have 1 hour to ourselves to catch up, or watch a show. 90 minute Game of Thrones episodes means we're not getting to bed until midnight! As the kids get older, the weekends get filled with activities.

Sometimes those parents at the brewery are enjoying one of the few times they get to socialize.

Suck it up and be I big boy why should we suffer for you not being able to control your kids

 

[storrsroars]

Ah, here's an interesting conundrum. My 18-month-old has the attention span you'd expect when we're out at restaurants.

Would you, a patron, prefer that I:
A) force her to stay in the high chair and whine for 40 minutes?

Those are my choices. Apparently someone is going to be annoyed either way. (FWIW, I always choose B.)

C) Pay a damned babysitter.

 

[storrsroars]

Having owned a cafe for seven years, I distinctly recall there were times when parents would come in and let their kids run all over the place. At those times, I would say to my wife, "I wish we had bought tables with edged corners instead of the rounded ones."

 

[Hoophound]

Our kids were almost always delightful in public when little. However, my kids fear my wife. She’s a tough parent. She never spanked them or anything but when she’s mad, you feel it in your core. She is a master of making them feel guilty or ashamed of wrongdoing. That keeps them in check.

 

[Fishy]

Moms # rule was no playing ball in the house. She never said anything about dropping hammers on the chicken parm. Daddy will allow it.

As a child who grew up before screens, I can tell you that my brothers and I had thousands of versions of baseball, football and basketball modified for playing in the house.

All of them pissed off my mother.

 

[HobokenHusky]

Hell no. As an infant, mine was quiet and content to sit in the stroller and people-watch, or play with a toy, or let one of us hold her. She was super well-behaved and we didn't skip a beat in terms of going to restaurants, coffee shops, whatever. I hate that defeatist attitude of having a kid means you have to be a hermit. You never know until you try it with your kid.

We're having a second in the fall. Will this one be just as well-behaved as a baby? Who knows. But we're not going to pre-suppose failure and not give ourselves the chance to continue having a life. (Of course, our toddler may have other ideas.)

I have two, and they have been going to restaurants once or twice a month for their entire lives, so it's just something they expect to do now and they have learned to enjoy it. They get bread and butter, their coloring book, and watch everything that is going on around them. Do they have a bad night sometimes? sure. The phone is literally the last resort if nothing else is an option and we are almost ready to get out of there.

The worst now, though, is going out with other families that will literally hand over their phones to their kid the second they sit down, and the kids are zombies the entire dinner. Again, that is what those kids expect when they go out to eat. It then puts us in a difficult position where our kid, who wouldn't even think of the phone otherwise, starts asking for it.

As a general rule, I think of the phone as a powerful drug that should only be used in emergencies.

 

[jibsey]

I have two, and they have been going to restaurants once or twice a month for their entire lives, so it's just something they expect to do now and they have learned to enjoy it. They get bread and butter, their coloring book, and watch everything that is going on around them. Do they have a bad night sometimes? sure. The phone is literally the last resort if nothing else is an option and we are almost ready to get out of there.

The worst now, though, is going out with other families that will literally hand over their phones to their kid the second they sit down, and the kids are zombies the entire dinner. Again, that is what those kids expect when they go out to eat. It then puts us in a difficult position where our kid, who wouldn't even think of the phone otherwise, starts asking for it.

As a general rule, I think of the phone as a powerful drug that should only be used in emergencies.

The multiple devices are parents’ biggest challenge today. Even if you restrict your kid’s time they can play at their friend’s houses. There is no way to control that other than not letting your kids go there, and that’s not realistic. Also they see their parents constantly on devices so it is hard to explain that. When I go to the health club 3 out of 4 people are surfing their phones as they work out and not just for music. This thing is out of control as I write the Yard on my IPad.

 

[Husky25]

Having owned a cafe for seven years, I distinctly recall there were times when parents would come in and let their kids run all over the place. At those times, I would say to my wife, "I wish we had bought tables with edged corners instead of the rounded ones."

I'm sure that was annoying. If only there were these little portable black boxes that had a screen upon which the kids could watch something educational and entertaining at a low (reasonable) volume while frequenting your establishment for 45 minutes...

 

[CL82]

I'm sure that was annoying. If only there were these little portable black boxes that had a screen upon which the kids could watch something educational and entertaining at a low (reasonable) volume while frequenting your establishment for 45 minutes...

Or, again, people can just set standards of behavior for their kids. The kids will adapt and be the better for it.

 

[Husky25]

Or, again, people can just set standards of behavior for their kids. The kids will adapt and be the better for it.

Or, again, there is not much difference between that and coloring on the back of the placemat.

(I thought you were bowing out of this conversation?)

 

[CL82]

Or, again, there is not much difference between that and coloring on the back of the placemat.

(I thought you were bowing out of this conversation?)

Yeah, every time the notion that actually parenting your kid isn't an option gets put out a given, it rankles me a bit. That's BS and frankly lazy parenting.

 

[Husky25]

Yeah, every time the notion that actually parenting your kid isn't an option gets put out a given, it rankles me a bit. That's BS and frankly lazy parenting.

No one pulls you back in but you. Only you can choose to not (re)engage.

You know what annoys me about other parents? When they complain how they didn't have the same tools at a certain age that current parents have at their disposal. That said, the chances are better than 6/5 or pick'em that I will do the same thing in 10 years.

 

[CL82]

No one pulls you back in but you. Only you can choose to not (re)engage.
You know what annoys me about other parents? When they complain how they didn't have the same tools at a certain age that current parents have at their disposal. That said, the chances are better than 6/5 or pick'em that I will do the same thing in 10 years.

Lol who is complaining about "not having the same tools"? Here's the thing though more options should mean things are easier right?

With due respect there is a lot of obtuse thinking (oxymoron?) in this thread. You read how other patrons and restaurant owners are all saying "hey we tolerate it but we'd really prefer if you'd control your kids" and your attitude seems pretty much identical to the kid who blamed his mom for not bringing his glove.

 

[Husky25]

Lol who is complaining about "not having the same tools"? Here's the thing though more options should mean things are easier right?

With due respect there is a lot of obtuse thinking (oxymoron?) in this thread. You read how other patrons and restaurant owners are all saying "hey we tolerate it but we'd really prefer if you'd control your kids" and your attitude seems pretty much identical to the kid who blamed his mom for not bringing his glove.

If by "tolerate" means you get annoyed by kids sitting quietly in the booth, I'm comfortable with the level of your (again, not you in particular) annoyance.

 

[CL82]

If by "tolerate" means you get annoyed by kids sitting quietly in the booth, I'm comfortable with the level of your (again, not you in particular) annoyance.

No tolerate means politely ignore kids running around and being loud. Personally I have no problem with kids being phone zombies. It's not the way the way I'd choose to do things but again we all raise our kids how we choose.

 

[Husky25]

No tolerate means politely ignore kids running around and being loud. Personally I have no problem with kids being phone zombies. It's not the way the way I'd choose to do things but again we all raise our kids how we choose.

So what are we debating? The intent of my original response to @Austin316 was to convey that my (actually, our) goal is to prevent my kids bothering other patrons.

In fact, in these words: "If my choices are for him (particularly my 3 year old. My 6 year old is more than appropriate in public) to wail and scream and bother the entirety of the given restaurant's patrons or for him to watch Bubble Guppies off YouTube at a reasonable volume, I choose the latter every day of the week and twice on Sunday."

 

[CL82]

So what are we debating? The intent of my original response to @Austin316 was to convey that my (actually, our) goal is to prevent my kids bothering other patrons.

In fact, in these words: "If my choices are for him (particularly my 3 year old. My 6 year old is more than appropriate in public) to wail and scream and bother the entirety of the given restaurant's patrons or for him to watch Bubble Guppies off YouTube at a reasonable volume, I choose the latter every day of the week and twice on Sunday."

Yep and my response was something like "those aren't the only two choices."

 

[Husky25]

Yep and my response was something like "those aren't the only two choices."

You preceded that by saying, "namely, that [my] choices are let the kid do what he or she wants or let him or her have a tantrum."

I believe your interpretation was mistaken. These are not two choices. Rather, they are virtually one in the same. The 3 y.o. wants to throw a tantrum. They want to go table to table, bothering other patrons. Many times, others brush the first occurrence off and maybe a second time, but get increasingly annoyed with frequency. The distraction, whatever it may be, is a tool in preventing that.

 

[CL82]

You preceded that by saying, "namely, that [my] choices are let the kid do what he or she wants or let him or her have a tantrum."

I believe your interpretation was mistaken. These are not two choices. Rather, they are virtually one in the same. The 3 y.o. wants to throw a tantrum. They want to go table to table, bothering other patrons. Many times, others brush the first occurrence off and maybe a second time, but get increasingly annoyed with frequency. The distraction, whatever it may be, is a tool in preventing that.

Kids want to do a lot of things. Part of parenting is teaching them to control their impulses.

 

[Husky25]

Kids want to do a lot of things. Part of parenting is teaching them to control their impulses.

We use a tablet as a tool in said teaching. Parents before us used a coloring book (theoretically, speaking). I don't see much difference.

 

[CL82]

We use a tablet as a tool in said teaching. Parents before us used a coloring book (theoretically, speaking). I don't see much difference.

Okay but that's still not a binary choice right? There are other ways to teach your child not to misbehave in public. It's not just i-lobotomy or screaming, right?

(Not sure why the coked up guy from Die Hard who dies because he was clueless and self absorbed was your choice of graphic, but the irony amused me.)

 

[Husky25]

Okay but that's still not a binary choice right? There are other ways to teach your child not to misbehave in public. It's not just i-lobotomy or screaming, right?

(Not sure why the coked up guy from Die Hard who dies because he was clueless and self absorbed was your choice of graphic, but it amused me.)

One more time, and then I'm out...

You said, "namely, that [my] choices are let the kid do what he or she wants or let him or her have a tantrum."

I believe your interpretation was mistaken. I don't believe these are choice. They are virtually one in the same.

The GIF of Ellis was intended to convey, "What's the difference?" As in, "You use a gun (coloring book). I use a fountain pen (Tablet)." Glad it amused you. Whether I am clueless and self-absorbed to a fault is as of yet to be determined.

 

[CL82]

One more time, and then I'm out...

You said, "namely, that [my] choices are let the kid do what he or she wants or let him or her have a tantrum."

I believe your interpretation was mistaken. I don't believe these are choice. They are virtually one in the same.

The GIF of Ellis was intended to convey, "What's the difference?" As in, "You use a gun (coloring book). I use a fountain pen (Tablet)." Glad it amused you. Whether I am clueless and self-absorbed to a fault is as of yet to be determined.

Meh.

"I want to play on your iphone. If you don't let me I will scream." Makes you wonder who's in charge, no?

But we're in a conversation that neither one of us is really interested in at this point. Be well see you around on the board.