OT: Things Other Parents Let Their Kids Get Away With.....



Husky25

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Amen. Wiffleball was the highlight of my childhood.
Certainly, but I also don't think you'd appreciate a 6 year old dropping a hammer in your chicken parm. Wiffleball should be played outside after lunch. Don't you think?
 

Husky25

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Allow me to bring this back a little...

My oldest and I were at the ball field a couple weekends ago. Because my wife's car was in the shop, she took my car to take my youngest to his soccer clinic, which meant we had a few hours to kill between Opening Day ceremonies, taking team pictures, and his farm league game. As time rolled on, we headed to the cafe to wait for our picture time slot. One kid, I'd say about 11 or so, stormed in late as his team was lining up, without his cap, and phone sticking out of the back of his uniform pants. He proceeded to berate his mother about her forgetting his hat and nearly being late for batting practice.

THIS was a teachable moment.
 

Husky25

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Moms # rule was no playing ball in the house. She never said anything about dropping hammers on the chicken parm. Daddy will allow it. ;)
Something tells me that'd be against house rules at McDonald's, let alone Carbones (Incidentally, an establishment of whose ilk, my kids have never seen the inside.)
 

CL82

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How old are your kids? Did you have the tools that are available to us? That is exactly what a tablet is to me. A tool. No different than a coloring book, Transformer, a baggie of Cheerios, or something like that when I was a kid.
Yep, a tool, just not the only one in the bag. Just like it's not a binary choice of let the kid do what he wants or have a meltdown.
 

RichZ

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The worst I've encountered seem to be kids out with their every-other-weekend parent. Especially when said non-custodial parent's new romantic interest is along. They seem to be fighting an internal battle between trying to wrest the parent's attention from the insignificant other, and ignoring the parent completely. Either way, they are as purposely obnoxious as can be. I've seen it with the kids of friends and with total strangers we were unfortunate enough to be in the same room with.
 
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Of course that presumes that everyone of them wants to deal with your kid more than you do.
Nowadays, restaurants welcome parents with young kids. But, most restaurants expect you to arrive early when they are less crowded and most patrons are parents with young kids or seniors. Just don’t show up at 7 PM at a nice restaurant with young kids. It won’t be a good experience for anybody. Family restaurants are a different story.
 
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Then why take them there

Restaurants do take-out. There are nannies out there.
Nannies? Maybe if you're Rockefeller. I'm exaggerating obviously, but nannies are expensive. Baby sitters are expensive too, and is often not worth the hassle.

I have a 2 and a 5 year old, and a restaurant/brewery is just about the last place I want to be with them, and I avoid it at all costs. However, we will occasionally get invited to something where the only option is to tow the kids along, and it usually sucks. You'll probably be annoyed at my kids running around, but I guarantee it's 1000x worse for me...it is what it is.

One of the underrated impacts of parenthood is the isolation. You are now responsible for these living things, and keeping up with old friends is nearly impossible, especially if they don't have kids. If you're lucky, you have good neighbors, which makes it easier to maintain friends.

You wake up and it's insanity until the kids are on the bus, or dropped off at day care. Both my wife and I are off to our full time jobs. Then, in the evening, it pick up time, and by the time I fix them some food, it's probably 6-630pm. Maybe we have time for a walk with the dog if the weather is good, then it's bedtime. and by the time that's done, we may have 1 hour to ourselves to catch up, or watch a show. 90 minute Game of Thrones episodes means we're not getting to bed until midnight! As the kids get older, the weekends get filled with activities.

Sometimes those parents at the brewery are enjoying one of the few times they get to socialize.
 

CL82

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Nannies? Maybe if you're Rockefeller. I'm exaggerating obviously, but nannies are expensive. Baby sitters are expensive too, and is often not worth the hassle.

I have a 2 and a 5 year old, and a restaurant/brewery is just about the last place I want to be with them, and I avoid it at all costs. However, we will occasionally get invited to something where the only option is to tow the kids along, and it usually sucks. You'll probably be annoyed at my kids running around, but I guarantee it's 1000x worse for me...it is what it is.

One of the underrated impacts of parenthood is the isolation. You are now responsible for these living things, and keeping up with old friends is nearly impossible, especially if they don't have kids. If you're lucky, you have good neighbors, which makes it easier to maintain friends.

You wake up and it's insanity until the kids are on the bus, or dropped off at day care. Both my wife and I are off to our full time jobs. Then, in the evening, it pick up time, and by the time I fix them some food, it's probably 6-630pm. Maybe we have time for a walk with the dog if the weather is good, then it's bedtime. and by the time that's done, we may have 1 hour to ourselves to catch up, or watch a show. 90 minute Game of Thrones episodes means we're not getting to bed until midnight! As the kids get older, the weekends get filled with activities.

Sometimes those parents at the brewery are enjoying one of the few times they get to socialize.
Then your kids' friends/teammate's parents end up becoming your friends. Then your kids go off to college and you get pick the ones you actually like spending time with.
 

Husky25

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Nannies? Maybe if you're Rockefeller. I'm exaggerating obviously, but nannies are expensive. Baby sitters are expensive too, and is often not worth the hassle.

I have a 2 and a 5 year old, and a restaurant/brewery is just about the last place I want to be with them, and I avoid it at all costs. However, we will occasionally get invited to something where the only option is to tow the kids along, and it usually sucks. You'll probably be annoyed at my kids running around, but I guarantee it's 1000x worse for me...it is what it is.

One of the underrated impacts of parenthood is the isolation. You are now responsible for these living things, and keeping up with old friends is nearly impossible, especially if they don't have kids. If you're lucky, you have good neighbors, which makes it easier to maintain friends.

You wake up and it's insanity until the kids are on the bus, or dropped off at day care. Both my wife and I are off to our full time jobs. Then, in the evening, it pick up time, and by the time I fix them some food, it's probably 6-630pm. Maybe we have time for a walk with the dog if the weather is good, then it's bedtime. and by the time that's done, we may have 1 hour to ourselves to catch up, or watch a show. 90 minute Game of Thrones episodes means we're not getting to bed until midnight! As the kids get older, the weekends get filled with activities.

Sometimes those parents at the brewery are enjoying one of the few times they get to socialize.
Nannies only make sense for three or more school aged (or younger) children. Decent daycare for two is nearly an extra mortgage payment as it is.

Take out is an option for those of whom kids are really a problem. Most of the establishments that welcome children will even bring your food to your car.
 
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Nannies? Maybe if you're Rockefeller. I'm exaggerating obviously, but nannies are expensive. Baby sitters are expensive too,
No they aren’t. Pay the 16 year old neighbor 50 bucks for dinner and a few drinks.
and is often not worth the hassle.
I thought that whatever frustration we experience is 1000-fold worse for poor you. Not worth the hassle?
 
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No they aren’t. Pay the 16 year old neighbor 50 bucks for dinner and a few drinks.

I thought that whatever frustration we experience is 1000-fold worse for poor you. Not worth the hassle?
You're just trolling at this point. Enjoy the kids at your favorite spot!
 
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Nannies? Maybe if you're Rockefeller. I'm exaggerating obviously, but nannies are expensive. Baby sitters are expensive too, and is often not worth the hassle.

I have a 2 and a 5 year old, and a restaurant/brewery is just about the last place I want to be with them, and I avoid it at all costs. However, we will occasionally get invited to something where the only option is to tow the kids along, and it usually sucks. You'll probably be annoyed at my kids running around, but I guarantee it's 1000x worse for me...it is what it is.

One of the underrated impacts of parenthood is the isolation. You are now responsible for these living things, and keeping up with old friends is nearly impossible, especially if they don't have kids. If you're lucky, you have good neighbors, which makes it easier to maintain friends.

You wake up and it's insanity until the kids are on the bus, or dropped off at day care. Both my wife and I are off to our full time jobs. Then, in the evening, it pick up time, and by the time I fix them some food, it's probably 6-630pm. Maybe we have time for a walk with the dog if the weather is good, then it's bedtime. and by the time that's done, we may have 1 hour to ourselves to catch up, or watch a show. 90 minute Game of Thrones episodes means we're not getting to bed until midnight! As the kids get older, the weekends get filled with activities.

Sometimes those parents at the brewery are enjoying one of the few times they get to socialize.
Suck it up and be I big boy why should we suffer for you not being able to control your kids
 

storrsroars

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Ah, here's an interesting conundrum. My 18-month-old has the attention span you'd expect when we're out at restaurants.

Would you, a patron, prefer that I:
A) force her to stay in the high chair and whine for 40 minutes?

Those are my choices. Apparently someone is going to be annoyed either way. (FWIW, I always choose B.)
C) Pay a damned babysitter.
 

storrsroars

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Having owned a cafe for seven years, I distinctly recall there were times when parents would come in and let their kids run all over the place. At those times, I would say to my wife, "I wish we had bought tables with edged corners instead of the rounded ones."
 
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Our kids were almost always delightful in public when little. However, my kids fear my wife. She’s a tough parent. She never spanked them or anything but when she’s mad, you feel it in your core. She is a master of making them feel guilty or ashamed of wrongdoing. That keeps them in check.
 

Fishy

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Moms # rule was no playing ball in the house. She never said anything about dropping hammers on the chicken parm. Daddy will allow it. ;)
As a child who grew up before screens, I can tell you that my brothers and I had thousands of versions of baseball, football and basketball modified for playing in the house.

All of them pissed off my mother.
 
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Hell no. As an infant, mine was quiet and content to sit in the stroller and people-watch, or play with a toy, or let one of us hold her. She was super well-behaved and we didn't skip a beat in terms of going to restaurants, coffee shops, whatever. I hate that defeatist attitude of having a kid means you have to be a hermit. You never know until you try it with your kid.

We're having a second in the fall. Will this one be just as well-behaved as a baby? Who knows. But we're not going to pre-suppose failure and not give ourselves the chance to continue having a life. (Of course, our toddler may have other ideas.)
I have two, and they have been going to restaurants once or twice a month for their entire lives, so it's just something they expect to do now and they have learned to enjoy it. They get bread and butter, their coloring book, and watch everything that is going on around them. Do they have a bad night sometimes? sure. The phone is literally the last resort if nothing else is an option and we are almost ready to get out of there.

The worst now, though, is going out with other families that will literally hand over their phones to their kid the second they sit down, and the kids are zombies the entire dinner. Again, that is what those kids expect when they go out to eat. It then puts us in a difficult position where our kid, who wouldn't even think of the phone otherwise, starts asking for it.

As a general rule, I think of the phone as a powerful drug that should only be used in emergencies.
 
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I have two, and they have been going to restaurants once or twice a month for their entire lives, so it's just something they expect to do now and they have learned to enjoy it. They get bread and butter, their coloring book, and watch everything that is going on around them. Do they have a bad night sometimes? sure. The phone is literally the last resort if nothing else is an option and we are almost ready to get out of there.

The worst now, though, is going out with other families that will literally hand over their phones to their kid the second they sit down, and the kids are zombies the entire dinner. Again, that is what those kids expect when they go out to eat. It then puts us in a difficult position where our kid, who wouldn't even think of the phone otherwise, starts asking for it.

As a general rule, I think of the phone as a powerful drug that should only be used in emergencies.
The multiple devices are parents’ biggest challenge today. Even if you restrict your kid’s time they can play at their friend’s houses. There is no way to control that other than not letting your kids go there, and that’s not realistic. Also they see their parents constantly on devices so it is hard to explain that. When I go to the health club 3 out of 4 people are surfing their phones as they work out and not just for music. This thing is out of control as I write the Yard on my IPad.
 

Husky25

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Having owned a cafe for seven years, I distinctly recall there were times when parents would come in and let their kids run all over the place. At those times, I would say to my wife, "I wish we had bought tables with edged corners instead of the rounded ones."
I'm sure that was annoying. If only there were these little portable black boxes that had a screen upon which the kids could watch something educational and entertaining at a low (reasonable) volume while frequenting your establishment for 45 minutes...
 

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