The Judge Speaks: The Farewell Tour | Page 2 | The Boneyard

The Judge Speaks: The Farewell Tour

Deepster said:
Did I ever tell you that I sat here for a couple hours one afternoon?

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Thought about what you said to me the other day, about the mojo . Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me... I fell into a deep peaceful sleep, and haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?



So if I asked you about mojo , you'd probably give me the skinny on every 3 pointer ever made . Calhoun , you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Gampel locker room. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to Rebecca Lobo and feel truly happy.
You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Pitt at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held Thabeet’s head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help.

I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at Kemba Walker and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with his step back , feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be his angel, to have that love for him, be there forever, through anything, through a 9-9 season. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding his hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared crapless kid. But you're a genius Deep. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about us because you saw a post from AntG and you ripped this board apart.
 
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I think my issue is more that you didn’t sentence yourself like a man and instead just opted for the dollar oysters at Grants.
 
CTMike said:
I think my issue is more that you didn’t sentence yourself like a man and instead just opted for the dollar oysters at Grants.
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Firstly Mike, you’re one of my favorite posters.

Secondly, I had a moment of disappointment too, I’m not going to lie. Deep is turning this thing, no doubt, and away from the bizarre bordering on insanity shtick of the yard. This may be the death of our collective weird, but I doubt it. It will morph.

Ultimately what it’s about for me is our annual acknowledgement that we all have something in common. That were so insanely passionate about UConn basketball that we dedicate an unhealthy portion of our lives talking about it, reading about it, and reacting to it.

The hanging was our coming together to assemble that passion into a whole greater than the sum of its parts. To acknowledge our tribe. That’s what made it fun even if it was just a bunch of pictures of Charlie sheen. It’s the belonging. Our club.

Why not use that power to change lives? This year we clearly can for one of us. We’re still celebrating our club and now in a way I can tell people about outside of this nut house.

I like it. I hope it sticks.
 
OkaForPrez said:
Firstly Mike, you’re one of my favorite posters.

Secondly, I had a moment of disappointment too, I’m not going to lie. Deep is turning this thing, no doubt, and away from the bizarre bordering on insanity shtick of the yard. This may be the death of our collective weird, but I doubt it. It will morph.

Ultimately what it’s about for me is our annual acknowledgement that we all have something in common. That were so insanely passionate about UConn basketball that we dedicate an unhealthy portion of our lives talking about it, reading about it, and reacting to it.

The hanging was our coming together to assemble that passion into a whole greater than the sum of its parts. To acknowledge our tribe. That’s what made it fun even if it was just a bunch of pictures of Charlie sheen. It’s the belonging. Our club.

Why not use that power to change lives? This year we clearly can for one of us. We’re still celebrating our club and now in a way I can tell people about outside of this nut house.

I like it. I hope it sticks.
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THIS GUY GETS IT
 
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August_West said:
Thought about what you said to me the other day, about the mojo . Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me... I fell into a deep peaceful sleep, and haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?



So if I asked you about mojo , you'd probably give me the skinny on every 3 pointer ever made . Calhoun , you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Gampel locker room. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to Rebecca Lobo and feel truly happy.
You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Pitt at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held Thabeet’s head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help.

I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at Kemba Walker and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with his step back , feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be his angel, to have that love for him, be there forever, through anything, through a 9-9 season. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding his hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared crapless kid. But you're a genius Deep. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about us because you saw a post from AntG and you ripped this board apart.
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Just watched that last weekend. Forgot how good that speech was.

However, this was my takeaway: You implied Rebecca Lobo was a tramp.

But if that's good for mojo, let's have some pics!
 
NDakotaHusky said:
Moving on is not a horrible thing. Some traditions should die
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Rolling Rock tops that list. But Deep is right that the hanging needs to be put to pasture.

@August_West gave us his best Robin Williams effort, well done. @OkaForPrez nailed it I think by focusing on this place as a community. That's what it's about. We eat our own a bit, but even those folks are our victims, we have their backs. When it's important, like a little girl with cancer, we put away childish things and do what is right.

There is however a lurking poison, and it reveals itself most often in game chat. Those who denigrate players who have chosen to wear a UConn jersey. I don't mean criticism or critique of play, but weak, cowardly personal attacks. The word "trash" should never be uttered in that context. It's bad enough that Tom pinned a thread. For the mojo, we need to end that. Cheer, encourage, root, bleed blue and stop acting like Syracuse fans. Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. This is the way.
 
In the vein of things that must die, I think we need to forget that we have 4 NCs. Or do our best to forget. I'd like to be the hungry huskies of the 90s again. I don't want to be the fat and lazy ex-jock who does nothing but ramble about the good old days of high school (or whenever).

JC has been gone for a decade. Most of us realize this, but not everyone. Some still want him back as an assistant... sitting on the bench I think. Not 100% sure about that last part. I've said this before, we have a new coach. He has zero NCs. Zero NCAA wins as a Husky. That's not exactly who we are as a program, but we are closer than we care to admit.

Did you know JC was 47 in 1990? Do you know Dan Hurley is 47 right now? It's kinda a decent barometer for where Dan Hurley is as a coach.... a bit behind JC. In 1990 JC tied for first in the BE regular season and won the BE Championship for the first time. Dan Hurley was very competitive this year, but didn't match our 1990 results.

Along those lines, just like JC, @Deepster has done his part. Let him take a break.
 
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NDakotaHusky said:
In the vein of things that must die, I think we need to forget that we have 4 NCs. Or do our best to forget. I'd like to be the hungry huskies of the 90s again. I don't want to be the fat and lazy ex-jock who does nothing but ramble about the good old days of high school (or whenever).

JC has been gone for a decade. Most of us realize this, but not everyone. Some still want him back as an assistant... sitting on the bench I think. Not 100% sure about that last part. I've said this before, we have a new coach. He has zero NCs. Zero NCAA wins as a Husky. That's not exactly who we are as a program, but we are closer than we care to admit.

Did you know JC was 47 in 1990? Do you know Dan Hurley is 47 right now? It's kinda a decent barometer for where Dan Hurley is as a coach.... a bit behind JC. In 1990 JC tied for first in the BE regular season and won the BE Championship for the first time. Dan Hurley was very competitive this year, but didn't match our 1990 results.

Along those lines, just like JC, @Deepster has done his part. Let him take a break.
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Funny how old 47 was when I was 13 and how young it is now that I'm 45
 
I only want two things out of this tournament.

1. #5 (naturally)
2. For Whaley, Cole, Martin, and Polley to have their moment. They've earned it both in-service to this program and the fanbase. They can do that collectively by winning a few games, but more than anything I want them each to get their due payoff for their efforts here.
 
HuskyHawk said:
Rolling Rock tops that list. But Deep is right that the hanging needs to be put to pasture.

@August_West gave us his best Robin Williams effort, well done. @OkaForPrez nailed it I think by focusing on this place as a community. That's what it's about. We eat our own a bit, but even those folks are our victims, we have their backs. When it's important, like a little girl with cancer, we put away childish things and do what is right.

There is however a lurking poison, and it reveals itself most often in game chat. Those who denigrate players who have chosen to wear a UConn jersey. I don't mean criticism or critique of play, but weak, cowardly personal attacks. The word "trash" should never be uttered in that context. It's bad enough that Tom pinned a thread. For the mojo, we need to end that. Cheer, encourage, root, bleed blue and stop acting like Syracuse fans. Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. This is the way.
Expand ...
Beware the 'hide and shout' of the self-certain.

Assisted baskets
Bravery and modesty
Boxouts and putbacks

Service beyond self
Doing good by being good
Expanding the field
 
I’m new blood here (well, relatively. I joined summer of 2013 before beginning my freshman year at UConn). As I’ve carved out my own spot on the Boneyard, happy to be an ever-optimistic, obscure character in the background who offers a quip or two when it dons upon me, I’m blown away by the history and camaraderie of this place.

Being here for the Senhor run of 2014 was a truly unique experience for me. And while it and the nostalgic stories of yore made me a touch jealous of missing all the… shenanigans of those past rounds, it tickled me to realize I’d found a community of UConn fans who not only equaled my own formidable passion, but oft surpassed it.

I suppose now it is time to rise from the ashes like a phoenix. We had our prime, glistening brightly for multiple decades. Then, we fell into an elderly state, before collapsing into a pile of ashes. Now, we’re reborn. Though we’re still a young adolescent phoenix, there’s reason to believe we’ll be that gleaming beast once again, very soon. And with this new era reborn, we should both reminisce and revel over tales from the past and also set upon this brave new world with an inquisitive swagger and a hunger to see what’s next.

If you find something works, do it. Whether it’s new or old. I know I sure as hell do. The mojo really has always been about the individual fans - the judge and the traditions served as an excellent set of guiders, but now it’s time to sink or swim on our own as we tackle the next phase of our proud program.
 
Dumpster is Mark Emmert's fluffer.

The SOB. He abandons his post at just the time he is required to do his former job. Not with a, "I think I am hanging them up at the end of this season", back in 2021. Nope, the inflamed pustule waits until the last minute, says his homeys aren't around anymore, and then says he hasn't got the energy, or something.

What a pathetic excuse for a man. There is such a thing as "low T". But Dumpster is the poster child for "No-T". One would have to have one's male bag surgically removed and start mainlineing estrogen to get where he is, today.

Then, having exited (rather publicly) stage left, the louse keeps coming back here, again and again, telling everyone what a bad job we are doing, trying to clean up the mess he created.

Can you imagine a co-worker, blowing up a project by not doing anything for 365 days, quitting the week before the project is due, saying "Well, I've done nothing to further the effort. Basically been shoplifting my paycheck for.the past year. You dopes are on your own."

And then keep coming back to the office for two weeks, helping himself to coffee and stealing your muffins, while telling you all how you stuck at picking up the pieces he left scattered all over the place.

Well, that is precisely what that hemorrhoidic anal pore has done.

And now he has the temerity to show up and claim that by doing NOTHING now, he is somehow fulfilling his job responsibilities.

Poor swami is too steeped in his senile dementia to even know what decade he is in. No doubt his long suffering daughter is busy trying to maintain some semblance of his online presence, in between emptying his drool cup.

Dumpster, that smear of dog poop on the bottom of your shoes, has been hung. He refuses to either abide by his sentence, or to just go away. (Both of which amount to the same thing, in practice.)

So we are stuck with him. It is as though someone dumped an entire bottle of that fart smell stuff on your living room couch.

You just cannot escape the foul smell he left.

Look, you toadstools have become a big part of the problem. These conciliatory posts of yours just have to stop (Adherance to the sentencing is a big part of what makes this MOJO world go around.).

Caustic, unrelenting insults and derision are what is required (under what passes for law around here).

Charlie Sheen Winning did not happen by you doofusses hanging around, giving Dumpster's testiculos a tongue bath. Senhor did not propel us to a title because everybody sat around, thinking to themselves "Geez, a Brazilian male pouch with feet! That's pretty funny!"

No!

It takes hard work and commitment to hang another banner in the rafters of Gampel. And you guys better get after it.

We are already days behind. A Japanese rock demon of death is prowling the earth. And NOBODY is attending to business.

Dumpster is hanging around, still posting. He is virtually guaranteeing a first round blowout loss to Eastern West Virginia State University at Cornhole, or whoever it is we are playing. And you guys are encouraging him.

I can't even!
 
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prankster said:
Dumpster is Mark Emmert's fluffer.

The SOB. He abandons his post at just the time he is required to do his former job. Not with a, "I think I am hanging them up at the end of this season", back in 2021. Nope, the inflamed pustule waits until the last minute, says his homeys aren't around anymore, and then says he hasn't got the energy, or something.

What a pathetic excuse for a man. There is such a thing as "low T". But Dumpster is the poster child for "No-T". One would have to have one's male bag surgically removed and start mainlineing estrogen to get where he is, today.

Then, having exited (rather publicly) stage left, the louse keeps coming back here, again and again, telling everyone what a bad job we are doing, trying to clean up the mess he created.

Can you imagine a co-worker, blowing up a project by not doing anything for 365 days, quitting the week before the project is due, saying "Well, I've done nothing to further the effort. Basically been shoplifting my paycheck for.the past year. You dopes are on your own."

And then keep coming back to the office for two weeks, helping himself to coffee and stealing your muffins, while telling you all how you stuck at picking up the pieces he left scattered all over the place.

Well, that is precisely what that hemorrhoidic anal pore has done.

And now he has the temerity to show up and claim that by doing NOTHING now, he is somehow fulfilling his job responsibilities.

Poor swami is too steeped in his senile dementia to even know what decade he is in. No doubt his long suffering daughter is busy trying to maintain some semblance of his online presence, in between emptying his drool cup.

Dumpster, that smear of dog poop on the bottom of your shoes, has been hung. He refuses to either abide by his sentence, or to just go away. (Both of which amount to the same thing, in practice.)

So we are stuck with him. It is as though someone dumped an entire bottle of that fart smell stuff on your living room couch.

You just cannot escape the foul smell he left.

Look, you toadstools have become a big part of the problem. These conciliatory posts of yours just have to stop (Adherance to the sentencing is a big part of what makes this MOJO world go around.).

Caustic, unrelenting insults and derision are what is required (under what passes for law around here).

Charlie Sheen Winning did not happen by you doofusses hanging around, giving Dumpster's testiculos a tongue bath. Senhor did not propel us to a title because everybody sat around, thinking to themselves "Geez, a Brazilian male pouch with feet! That's pretty funny!"

No!

It takes hard work and commitment to hang another banner in the rafters of Gampel. And you guys better get after it.

We are already days behind. A Japanese rock demon of death is prowling the earth. And NOBODY is attending to business.

Dumpster is hanging around, still posting. He is virtually guaranteeing a first round blowout loss to Eastern West Virginia State University at Cornhole, or whoever it is we are playing. And you guys are encouraging him.

I can't even!
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No one is reading any of this.
 
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ECD6E4D6-79B8-4329-B44D-3DD3A829A02F.jpeg
 
Deepster said:
Have no fear, Yarders. The Judge and his trusty Hangman Swami ride for you one final time. Like the heroes of the wild, wild West and their tails of yore, when our beloved townsfolk needed us? We again have answered your call to arms.

I have been serving as your beloved Judge since 1999 when I first shoved through bogus charges, held a meaningless trial and hung “The Dukie 5” en route to our first National Championship. And from there? To quote our resident hippy A-Dub, “what a long, strange trip it’s been”. We have eaten wings, worshipped a set of hairy Brazilian testicles and gotten drunk on tiger blood. They were the best of days.

When I sat back in the Judge’s Chambers the last couple days, I looked back at the last few weeks and it felt like old times. Metro North cars jammed with UConn fans. U-C-O-N-N chants ringing off the rafters of Madison Storrs Garden. Anticipation for Selection Sunday. And I remembered the Deepster’s #1 Rule of Mojo.

If you think it effects the Mojo, it does.

There will be no one hung. This year or from this point forward. Instead you will use this March and every March that follows it as a testament to storied history of the Boneyard and how we eat buffalo wings, drink Rolling Rocks, post Charlie Sheen references and torture Tom with a never-ending avalanche of (PG-13 rated) Senhor Testiculo memes because that is what makes up our championship DNA. And like Glinda told Dorothy, it's not the shoes. It's if you believe that when you click them? They take you home.

Those things all worked because we believed they did. It was nothing that I ever did otherwise.

And if you want to continue pulling at straws every March hoping to find the next needle in that haystack? Have at it. I won’t be part of that monkey business any longer. That old version of the Yard is gone and, as your trusted Mojo Maven, I am telling you. This is the way you keep it alive. You can choose to listen to me? Or you can follow Don Prankster Quixote and his “word of the day” calendar as he romps around tilting at windmills. Your call.

I will also say 2 final things and leave you to do what you will.
  1. I have nothing but respect the newer forms of social media. And I respect the impact of @Penfield and UConn Twitter as well as Marc D’Amelio and what he’s done for UConn sports. The Judge would love nothing more than to see what we did on the little ol’ Boneyard bleed out into the Twitter and TikTok’s of the world. More views, more pub, more buzz means more Mojo. Let's open this community up and use all the bullets in the gun.

  2. You’re all fools if you don’t use the attention to this team over the next few weeks to help create something special for Aubrien Jimenez. The Yard, over the years, has never been better than when we’ve joined forces to help someone in time of need and this innocent little cherub already has the love of Coach Hurley and our team behind her. So, I challenge you all to figure something out here to shoot this family to the moon.
Listen to me and get moving? Or sit around trying to be smarter than me. Rest assured, only one of those options will work.

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nomar said:
I believe it's called Buffalo Wild Wings.
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Pretty sure this was a joke, and someone else will have already chimed in, but the originator is the Anchor Bar in Buffalo

For what its worth, I actually had some wings there when we started our run to the NC in 2004.
 
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Deadrody said:
Pretty sure this was a joke, and someone else will have already chimed in, but the originator is the Anchor Bar in Buffalo

For what its worth, I actually had some wings there when we started our run to the NC in 2004.
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Yup -- Been there too, in 1996
 
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