Have no fear, Yarders. The Judge and his trusty Hangman Swami ride for you one final time. Like the heroes of the wild, wild West and their tails of yore, when our beloved townsfolk needed us? We again have answered your call to arms.
I have been serving as your beloved Judge since 1999 when I first shoved through bogus charges, held a meaningless trial and hung “The Dukie 5” en route to our first National Championship. And from there? To quote our resident hippy A-Dub, “what a long, strange trip it’s been”. We have eaten wings, worshipped a set of hairy Brazilian testicles and gotten drunk on tiger blood. They were the best of days.
When I sat back in the Judge’s Chambers the last couple days, I looked back at the last few weeks and it felt like old times. Metro North cars jammed with UConn fans. U-C-O-N-N chants ringing off the rafters of Madison Storrs Garden. Anticipation for Selection Sunday. And I remembered the Deepster’s #1 Rule of Mojo.
If you think it effects the Mojo, it does.
There will be no one hung. This year or from this point forward. Instead you will use this March and every March that follows it as a testament to storied history of the Boneyard and how we eat buffalo wings, drink Rolling Rocks, post Charlie Sheen references and torture Tom with a never-ending avalanche of (PG-13 rated) Senhor Testiculo memes
because that is what makes up our championship DNA. And like Glinda told Dorothy, it's not the shoes. It's if you believe that when you click them? They take you home.
Those things all worked because we believed they did. It was nothing that I ever did otherwise.
And if you want to continue pulling at straws every March hoping to find the next needle in that haystack? Have at it. I won’t be part of that monkey business any longer. That old version of the Yard is gone and, as your trusted Mojo Maven, I am telling you. This is the way you keep it alive. You can choose to listen to me? Or you can follow Don Prankster Quixote and his “word of the day” calendar as he romps around tilting at windmills. Your call.
I will also say 2 final things and leave you to do what you will.
- I have nothing but respect the newer forms of social media. And I respect the impact of @Penfield and UConn Twitter as well as Marc D’Amelio and what he’s done for UConn sports. The Judge would love nothing more than to see what we did on the little ol’ Boneyard bleed out into the Twitter and TikTok’s of the world. More views, more pub, more buzz means more Mojo. Let's open this community up and use all the bullets in the gun.
- You’re all fools if you don’t use the attention to this team over the next few weeks to help create something special for Aubrien Jimenez. The Yard, over the years, has never been better than when we’ve joined forces to help someone in time of need and this innocent little cherub already has the love of Coach Hurley and our team behind her. So, I challenge you all to figure something out here to shoot this family to the moon.
Listen to me and get moving? Or sit around trying to be smarter than me. Rest assured, only one of those options will work.
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