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Read my post above. the cook out food is just one example out of the eight. By the way, A dab of BBQ sauce on roasted vegetables is phenomenal.
And as long as I'm only hypothetically eating one condiment for the rest of my life, I hypothetically will never eat a salad ever again. Seasoned sautéed spinach sound just fine.
You said "I would never (nor would anyone I know, an observation of the 100s of tailgates and cookouts I've hosted/attended) put ranch dressing on a hot dog, sausage, or slow cooked meat in a sober state." Nothing in that quote would lead you to think about vegetables or any non-grilled food form.
I'm not going to try and sway anyone on the ranch dressing bandwagon, but I think some of the comments are short sighted. And is ranch a little bland? Sure. But try using only hot sauce or BBQ sauce as a condiment for one week. I bet you toss the bottle out the window by Wednesday.