OT : Turkey Sucks and you know it........ | Page 3 | The Boneyard

OT : Turkey Sucks and you know it........

Status
Not open for further replies.
I have a feeling you're just really bad at cooking whatever kind of turkey you make. However, this thread makes me wonder what other food you can't stand?
 
But turkey led the country in shot blocking and field goal percentage.......hater
 
August_West said:
a bit more than Turkey, but it is never a go to order for me, no.
Expand ...


and let me expound. I enjoy the hell out of good fried chicken. I make chicken thighs in my smoker that absolutely are delicious. So I am not totally against chicken.

I love wings obviously (this IS the boneyard)

but yeah, roasted poultry doesnt light my fire.
 
August_West said:
a bit more than Turkey, but it is never a go to order for me, no.
Expand ...
I trust you know Pasta Vita in Old Saybrook, and that they do many, many things very well (their chicken-artichoke lasagna is an addiction for me, and their regular lasagna is also tremendous). They have an Argentine roasted chicken dinner that is very good eating for the whole family. Complete with potatoes and carrots. Very nicely spiced and very moist. We've been there easily more than a hundred times and that's something we never would have ordered on our own, but a friend gave it to us when we were bringing her daughter with us to a house we rented for vacation a couple summers ago and we have become fans since. Recommended.
 
.-.
August_West said:
Because we have a great season about to start, Im going to start this thread a little early this year as when this would ordinarily be (semi) on topic, we will already have some great hoops to talk about. I dont want to clog board then, so lets get it out of the way.


Nobody can really like Turkey, you are lying to yourselves over some kind of family/nostalgia thing. It quite possibly the worst food you can imagine eating, and much like Bluefish, I expect to hear 1000 "but you havent had it prepared the way my family does it"
1) Yes, I probably have
2) Its still terrible ( you can pour caviar over the bird, you are still eating caviar coated poop)


So as a public service, Im getting this out early. Start a new tradition. There is no reason to eat this vermin. Make some prime Rib. Have some Tofu Coconut Curry soup. Jeez, open a box of Kraft mac and cheese. All are way more palatable. Why do we all have to suffer in the name of a stupid tradition that didnt include turkey in its origins anyway.

Please discuss.
Expand ...
Just be thankful the Indians didn't present beaver steaks and possum chops at Thanksgiving.
 
donyell34 said:
"Dissing the turkey". Say it ain't so. Smoked turkey. I smoked a turkey once and it was real good.
Expand ...
Smoked turkey is good but my sneakers would also probably taste good if they were smoked.
 
OkaForPrez said:
Ground Turkey is an indiscernible sub for ground beef in chili. Just as delicious.
Expand ...
My wife and will be oven roasting turkey breasteses during the Thanksgiving weekend. We are not dark meat fans. And as for ground turkey (ground dark meat)...hate it. Ground chicken only as a chili substitute. And organic tastes better than Perdue!
 
August_West said:
and let me expound. I enjoy the hell out of good fried chicken. I make chicken thighs in my smoker that absolutely are delicious. So I am not totally against chicken.

I love wings obviously (this IS the boneyard)

but yeah, roasted poultry doesnt light my fire.
Expand ...
Chicken is awesome.
 
One other thing about cooking Turkey. especially large ones. It is pretty impossible to cook right. If your white meat is juicy your dark meat isn't cooked enough. If your dark meat is right, your white meat is like eating sawdust. That aint opinion. That is science.
 
Somebody in the thread mentioned they like sweet potato fries, which is right up there with Atlantic salmon as the most overrated food ever. It's taking a truly awesome food in French fries and creating a much inferior product. It seems like one day about 12 or so years ago every restaurant was substituting French fries for Cr*p fries, I mean sweet potato fries. At around the same time every restaurant was offering tilapia as their fish option.
 
.-.
superjohn said:
Chicken is awesome.
Expand ...
Fried is awesome the other methods are delicious. Back in the day, grandma used 100% lard, and fukk today's cardiologists (and the 'shake and bakers'), it was the best:

s-Lard-tin-circa-mid-19602.jpg
 
August_West said:
One other thing about cooking Turkey. especially large ones. It is pretty impossible to cook right. If your white meat is juicy your dark meat isn't cooked enough. If your dark meat is right, your white meat is like eating sawdust. That aint opinion. That is science.
Expand ...

Has anyone tried roasting the turkey upside down for the first 45 minutes? I am not in charge of the turkey at Thanksgiving (I man the beer fridge and wine table), but it seems like a reasonable strategy to keep the white meat from drying out.
 
Husky25 said:
Has anyone tried roasting the turkey upside down for the first 45 minutes? I am not in charge of the turkey at Thanksgiving (I man the beer fridge and wine table), but it seems like a reasonable strategy to keep the white meat from drying out.
Expand ...
The household rule is never too experiment with a Thanksgiving turkey especially cooking it upside down, no matter how reasonable a suggestion may sound.
 
Husky25 said:
Has anyone tried roasting the turkey upside down for the first 45 minutes? I am not in charge of the turkey at Thanksgiving (I man the beer fridge and wine table), but it seems like a reasonable strategy to keep the white meat from drying out.
Expand ...

It doesnt really matter. Contrary to what someone said in this thread about me being a lousy cook and thats why I dont like turkey, I am actually quite good.I will spare the hot air on how I got there because nobody will care anyway, but I know a little bit.

As a longtime cook, especially with meats, and more specifically with smokers I am of the school that temperature (both internal and external) is everything. Different meats respond to different cooking temps, and also reach their peak at different internal temps.
Every meat I do has a certain temp range it needs to be internally for it to be the best that it can be.
My pulled pork shoulder in a smoker comes out at 203 degrees, no more or not less
My homemade Pastrami comes out of the smoker at 155 degrees and then I steam up to 200
my steaks come off hot grills exactly 5 degrees below whatever someones eating preference is.

Point being Im anal about cooking stuff as good as it can be.


Turkey white meat is at its best at 165 degrees. You go even a little bit over that and youve lost it, it dries in a hurry.

Turkey dark meat is at its best at about 180 degree internal.

How do you cook a whole bird to temps 15 degrees apart?

You dont. One or the other suffers.

Which pisses me off. And part of the reason I hate it. I have split birds before cooking before to get each part right, and cooked them to perfection. Breast right to 165 and Thighs to 180..... still was turkey in the end :-) ......
 
.-.
I cannot believe that anybody who's eaten a turkey drumstick could say turkey is tasteless. I guess you don't eat chicken, then?

We are big consumers of ground turkey. Turkey burgers, red turkey chili, white turkey chili, Asian turkey lettuce wraps. Whatever calls for ground beef or chicken can be made with turkey.

And I like turkey sandwiches too.

In conclusion, August_West, YOU'RE A TURKEY.
 
8893 said:
Now that is one way I have not tried turkey. Sounds painful.
Expand ...

Turkey painful in all orifices.
 
August_West said:
One other thing about cooking Turkey. especially large ones. It is pretty impossible to cook right. If your white meat is juicy your dark meat isn't cooked enough. If your dark meat is right, your white meat is like eating sawdust. That aint opinion. That is science.
Expand ...
One word for you. Spatchcock.
 
Irish Loop said:
For certain things, like turkey sausage or turkey chili, I honestly can't really tell the difference and enjoy it just as much.
Expand ...

I bet you just forgot what pork sausage tastes like!

We too mostly eat chicken or turkey sausage from our local butcher and I can eat it no problem, not complaints, all the time.

Then, last week, my wife prepared some sausage and it was the most fatty, juicy, flavorful, delicious thing I'd had in who knows how long.

"I decided to get real sausage this time."

Oh, and I do like turkey and other Thanksgiving dishes.
 
.-.
I agree it's a pretty dry/bland meat. Thats why they don't really eat turkey in many other countries.
 
August_West said:
It doesnt really matter. Contrary to what someone said in this thread about me being a lousy cook and thats why I dont like turkey, I am actually quite good.I will spare the hot air on how I got there because nobody will care anyway, but I know a little bit.

As a longtime cook, especially with meats, and more specifically with smokers I am of the school that temperature (both internal and external) is everything. Different meats respond to different cooking temps, and also reach their peak at different internal temps.
Every meat I do has a certain temp range it needs to be internally for it to be the best that it can be.
My pulled pork shoulder in a smoker comes out at 203 degrees, no more or not less
My homemade Pastrami comes out of the smoker at 155 degrees and then I steam up to 200
my steaks come off hot grills exactly 5 degrees below whatever someones eating preference is.

Point being Im anal about cooking stuff as good as it can be.


Turkey white meat is at its best at 165 degrees. You go even a little bit over that and youve lost it, it dries in a hurry.

Turkey dark meat is at its best at about 180 degree internal.

How do you cook a whole bird to temps 15 degrees apart?

You dont. One or the other suffers.

Which pisses me off. And part of the reason I hate it. I have split birds before cooking before to get each part right, and cooked them to perfection. Breast right to 165 and Thighs to 180..... still was turkey in the end :) .
Expand ...
If you are cooking to 165/180 you done over cooked it beyond saving... It's actually quite safe to pull it sooner and avoid over drying (I'll provide references if needed ;) ) Also, @CAHUSKY nailed it - spatchcocking the bird helps ensure it cooks more evenly.

Not gonna say this way is better than that way or whatever, but this guy is pretty obsessive about actually testing various cooking methods scientifically... May be worth a quick read, if interested. http://www.seriouseats.com/2012/11/...-thanksgiving-fast-easy-way-spatchcocked.html

You'll still hate turkey but maybe think about cooking it differently. ;)
 
CTMike said:
If you are cooking to 165/180 you done over cooked it beyond saving... It's actually quite safe to pull it sooner and avoid over drying (I'll provide references if needed ;) ) Also, @CAHUSKY nailed it - spatchcocking the bird helps ensure it cooks more evenly.

Not gonna say this way is better than that way or whatever, but this guy is pretty obsessive about actually testing various cooking methods scientifically... May be worth a quick read, if interested. http://www.seriouseats.com/2012/11/...-thanksgiving-fast-easy-way-spatchcocked.html

You'll still hate turkey but maybe think about cooking it differently. ;)
Expand ...

Kenji is the best, I am loving his new book.
 
superjohn said:
I'm one of those people that likes piling the leftover turkey on good bread with mayo the next day but yes turkey pretty much sucks, actually the entire Thanksgiving meal pretty much sucks.
Expand ...

You obviously have no taste. It might be the greatest cornucopia of dishes in the known universe.
 
.-.
Status
Not open for further replies.

Forum statistics

Threads
168,215
Messages
4,557,558
Members
10,442
Latest member
StatsMan


Top Bottom