OT : Turkey Sucks and you know it........

[August_West]

Because we have a great season about to start, Im going to start this thread a little early this year as when this would ordinarily be (semi) on topic, we will already have some great hoops to talk about. I dont want to clog board then, so lets get it out of the way.


Nobody can really like Turkey, you are lying to yourselves over some kind of family/nostalgia thing. It quite possibly the worst food you can imagine eating, and much like Bluefish, I expect to hear 1000 "but you havent had it prepared the way my family does it"
1) Yes, I probably have
2) Its still terrible ( you can pour caviar over the bird, you are still eating caviar coated poop)


So as a public service, Im getting this out early. Start a new tradition. There is no reason to eat this vermin. Make some prime Rib. Have some Tofu Coconut Curry soup. Jeez, open a box of Kraft mac and cheese. All are way more palatable. Why do we all have to suffer in the name of a stupid tradition that didnt include turkey in its origins anyway.

Please discuss.

 

[BUConn10]

What are you talking about? Turkey is amazing. It's also a consensus Top 3 deli meat. Once the AP poll comes out you will look so stupid.

 

[HooperScooper]

Starting the weekend a little early with some hallucinogens? Mushrooms? Peyote? Or harder stuff?

 

[CallMeBruce]

Yeah, I reject the hell out of this premise. Though, should be noted, I won't eat white meat turkey on Thanksgiving. Dark meat all daaaaaaaaaaay.

 

[August_West]

What are you talking about? Turkey is amazing. It's also a consensus Top 3 deli meat. Once the AP poll comes out you will look so stupid.

Turkey as a deli meat is slightly more tolerable. But even then 95% of it is garbage. For now I am speaking of the abomination the whole country up while cooking and throws on their Thanksgiving table.

 

[August_West]

So all you turkey proponents above.

How many times a year do you throw that bird in the oven? I mean its great, right? Something so delicious there is no reason to just limit to Thanksgiving. amirite?

But I would bet that none of you make a full bird more than once more a year (and that would be stretching it).

Why?

Because you also know it sucks on a sub-conscious level.

 

[Bezzz]

I had an awesome home-made turkey burger last night. Italian breadcrumbs, salt, pepper, dash of chili powder and tarragon on a bun with sriracha aeoli. Dredged, breaded, fried. Of course I was drunk at the time.

Come to think of it, you couldn't really taste the turkey.

 

[Chin Diesel]

Deep fried is the only way to go. 15lb bird done in 45 min, moist and tender.

 

[vtmikeb]

So all you turkey proponents above.

How many times a year do you throw that bird in the oven? I mean its great, right? Something so delicious there is no reason to just limit to Thanksgiving. amirite?

But I would bet that none of you make a full bird more than once more a year (and that would be stretching it).

Why?

Because a turkey feeds like 12 people. How often do you cook for 12 people? You turkey.

 

[Walker11]

Agreed. Turkey isn't off-putting if cooked correctly, but it has no flavor either. And it's very easy to over cook, making it inedible. I do have a nostalgic love of day-after turkey sandwich, but I think that's more because I smear the turkey in butter and salt.

 

[OkaForPrez]

Ground Turkey is an indiscernible sub for ground beef in chili. Just as delicious.

 

[August_West]

Because a turkey feeds like 12 people. How often do you cook for 12 people? You turkey.

certainly there are different sized birds?
And anyway, what is it you always hear from all the Turkey proponents at Thanksgiving? " I cant wait for the left overs" seems to be the common consensus. or "I like the left overs and the resulting Next day Turkey sandwich, as much as the meal itself"

I hear the above all the time.

So even if you are cooking too much during another time of the year, isn't having some left for other stuff desirable?

 

[August_West]

Agreed. Turkey isn't off-putting if cooked correctly, but it has no flavor either. And it's very easy to over cook, making it inedible. I do have a nostalgic love of day-after turkey sandwich, but I think that's more because I smear the turkey in butter and salt.

This guy gets it.

 

[8893]

Best way to eat turkey is as ground meat. Gotta mix it with chopped mushrooms though or else it's too dry.

We are big fans of turkey burgers and turkey meatloaf at our house.

As for the full bird, it's a once a year thing, and my favorite part is using the leftovers for my now somewhat famous Thanksgiving pizzas. And turkey soup.

 

[August_West]

Deep fried is the only way to go. 15lb bird done in 45 min, moist and tender.

Ive had it. It is the most edible of all the turkey variations, but its still flavorless turkey.

My favorite part of the "Fry the Turkey" people are the Darwin awards given out each year. Much more palatable than the bird

http://gizmodo.com/5698696/the-7-best-deep-fried-turkey-disaster-videos

 

[IMind]

Agreed. Turkey isn't off-putting if cooked correctly, but it has no flavor either. And it's very easy to over cook, making it inedible. I do have a nostalgic love of day-after turkey sandwich, but I think that's more because I smear the turkey in butter and salt.

The United States has done a remarkable job of breeding the flavor out of food in the name of reducing fat. Look what they've done to pork, the most flavorful meat in the universe.. and now your average pork loinpails in comparison to what it was in your grandfather's day. I find it ironic that we've lowered the fat content (and flavor) in all our foods and yet obesity is an epidemic.

I've had incredibly good turkey... I've also had dry bland horrid turkey... 95% of it is the dry bland horrid kind you get at a super market.

 

[August_West]

Best way to eat turkey is as ground meat. Gotta mix it with chopped mushrooms though or else it's too dry.

We are big fans of turkey burgers and turkey meatloaf at our house.

As for the full bird, it's a once a year thing, and my favorite part is using the leftovers for my now somewhat famous Thanksgiving pizzas. And turkey soup.

8893 stay with me here. We arent discussing ground Turkey.

Now Im going to use you as an example though, as this is telling.

We all here at the Boneyard recognize 8893 as the "Boneyard resident expert Foodie" , no?
EVERYONE in every Pizza Thread and Restaurant Thread etc.... has to concede that above fact.

Stay with me here..............

The Boneyards consensus resident expert foodie makes Turkey once a year. The guy loves great food, but makes Turkey once a year.

Why is that 8893? Go ahead and say it. Ive got your back

 

[8893]

Why is that 8893?

Because turkey sucks.

 

[August_West]

Because turkey sucks.

/thread

 

[Northbound]

If you've never shot a wild turkey and deep fried it you're doing it wrong.

All that processed bird stuff is crap.

 

[David 76]

Who knows if turkey sucks? I'm Italian and we have ante pasta, Italian Wedding soup, stuffed artichokes, salad and usually other apps, followed by stuffed shells or lasagna before we touch the bird, mashed potatoes, stuffing, yams, sweet potatoes, turnips and green beans.
I'm not sure I ever got to the turkey.

 

[OkaForPrez]

If you've never shot a wild turkey and deep fried it you're doing it wrong.

All that processed bird stuff is crap.

I shoot wild turkey all the time.

 

[Dogbreath2U]

What's all this about having to like what you eat? Real men who are loyal Americans will eat their dry turkey drowned in gravy and that's that. I'm hearing some commie undertones to this anti-american sentiment. Are some people too good for Thanksgiving, the one American holiday?

 

[August_West]

Who knows if turkey sucks? I'm Italian and we have ante pasta, Italian Wedding soup, stuffed artichokes, salad and usually other apps, followed by stuffed shells or lasagna before we touch the bird, mashed potatoes, stuffing, yams, sweet potatoes, turnips and green beans. I'm not sure I ever got to the turkey.

Italians do it right. They know they've got to put 100 tasty foods before the turkey to make people forget that turkey is on the menu.

 

[August_West]

What's all this about having to like what you eat? Real men who are loyal Americans will eat their dry turkey drowned in gravy and that's that. I'm hearing some commie undertones to this anti-american sentiment. Are some people too good for Thanksgiving, the one American holiday?

Between the entry of guns and now political overtones that have entered this thread, methinks we are going to clipped into the cesspool before too long .