OT : Turkey Sucks and you know it........ | Page 2 | The Boneyard

OT : Turkey Sucks and you know it........

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Turkey as a deli meat is slightly more tolerable. But even then 95% of it is garbage. For now I am speaking of the abomination the whole country up while cooking and throws on their Thanksgiving table.

Bold move assuming that your opinion is the deciding factor in a culture of people eating a form of meat. I like turkey, definitely in my top few deli meat options, and definitely a great dinner option specifically with the gravy and all the side dishes common to thanksgiving, but hey if you want to spit in the face of our forefathers... that's your choice
 
I'm one of those people that likes piling the leftover turkey on good bread with mayo the next day but yes turkey pretty much sucks, actually the entire Thanksgiving meal pretty much sucks.
 
I don't like turkey.

I also think it's dumb to tell people they are lying if they say they like something.


this is supposed be a lighthearted thread, more lampooning my irrational hatred of turkey than anybody's personal taste.


But I do advocate a Turkey-less holiday season for increased enjoyment.
 
but hey if you want to spit in the face of our forefathers... that's your choice

This is funny, whether you're joking or not. I think our forefathers had it right, i.e. eating sh_t other than turkey for Thanksgiving.
 
, but hey if you want to spit in the face of our forefathers... that's your choice

Our forefathers
1) Didnt have turkey at thanksgiving
2) Didnt allow women at the meal

I would assume your Thanksgiving includes both. So am I the one spitting?
 
I smoke turkey a few times over the summer. I'll pick up a turkey breast if I see it in the store. I won't go with the frozen turkeys, so that's part of the issue.

I will admit to liking turkey gravy a lot more than I like turkey, but gravy makes most things better. I'm not breaking any new ground with that statement.
 
.-.
Get a fresh bird and don't over cook it, and you are a long way towards addressing flavor and dryness. Not saying that will convince you, but they make a difference in terms of enjoyment. Smoked turkey is also really good, but most things that come off the smoker are good...
 
The best part of Thanksgiving is definitely not the turkey. It's very tough to inject flavor or to keep the white meat from drying, but I can't imagine having such disdain for it either.

Sausage dressing is awesome (but only if there is no celery in it), garlic butter mashed potatoes, green beans & mushrooms, potato casserole, prosciutto wrapped feta & asparagus, apple pie, bottomless wine goblet, company, a nap, football, a walk, and a cigar...need I say more?

Turkey comes in a distant 13th followed by any thing that contains the aforementioned celery, with pumpkin pie bringing up the rear.

That said, a full-on turkey dinner is almost never practical without upwards of 28 other people to share. That is why they sell turkey legs, thighs, and breast separately. Ground turkey works just fine as a partial replacement for beef as well.
 
so you put a skinless bird on the table? Your company must love that. :)

If you must know, we cook TWO birds. One is brined and then traditionally roasted, the other is wrapped in bacon and then smoked. There's plenty of crispy skin and smoky delicious bacon to go around before anything hits the table, my friend. You're just doing it wrong....
 
I love turkey.

I love turkey sandwiches. I love turkey at Thanksgiving covered in gravy. I love turkey burgers and turkey sausage.

Repent, OP, and perhaps you will be forgiven for loving BOXED MACARONI AND CHEESE MORE THAN TURKEY.
 
Turkey is scrumptious. Brine it and buy a meat thermometer and it's impossible to over cook it and dry it out. Smoked, deep fried or roasted it's awesome. I buy turkey breasts on a regular basis and eat it year round. Those that don't like turkey are clearly members of ISIS and not true Americans.
 
turkey doesn't suck, you know what sucks? you suck.
 
.-.
I love turkey.

I love turkey sandwiches. I love turkey at Thanksgiving covered in gravy. I love turkey burgers and turkey sausage.

Repent, OP, and perhaps you will be forgiven for loving BOXED MACARONI AND CHEESE MORE THAN TURKEY.
What if it had bits of cured pork belly and spicy Mexican peppers, accompanied by copious amounts of Bud Light?
 
If you must know, we cook TWO birds. One is brined and then traditionally roasted, the other is wrapped in bacon and then smoked. There's plenty of crispy skin and smoky delicious bacon to go around before anything hits the table, my friend. You're just doing it wrong....
Thanks for the info. Im conflicted on that disclosure. On the one hand you have proven yourself to be a good host (as good as one who serves turkey can ever get in my book :) with the 2 bird deal and extra points obviously for the smoking with bacon. On the other hand I sat here hoping you might say "yeah, thats right, I eat the skin off that bird and THEN put it out." Because that would be Alpha as f. Im a fan of Alpha moves.
 
Because we have a great season about to start, Im going to start this thread a little early this year as when this would ordinarily be (semi) on topic, we will already have some great hoops to talk about. I dont want to clog board then, so lets get it out of the way.


Nobody can really like Turkey, you are lying to yourselves over some kind of family/nostalgia thing. It quite possibly the worst food you can imagine eating, and much like Bluefish, I expect to hear 1000 "but you havent had it prepared the way my family does it"
1) Yes, I probably have
2) Its still terrible ( you can pour caviar over the bird, you are still eating caviar coated poop)


So as a public service, Im getting this out early. Start a new tradition. There is no reason to eat this vermin. Make some prime Rib. Have some Tofu Coconut Curry soup. Jeez, open a box of Kraft mac and cheese. All are way more palatable. Why do we all have to suffer in the name of a stupid tradition that didnt include turkey in its origins anyway.

Please discuss.

I have always said this, so glad to see I am not alone. For a holiday focused solely on food, it serves up some below par offerings.

Turkey sucks, we all know it, that's why you can't order it at restaurants. Saying "It's a good lunch meat" is an insult turkey, it was demoted to lunch meat.
 
Our forefathers
1) Didnt have turkey at thanksgiving
2) Didnt allow women at the meal

I would assume your Thanksgiving includes both. So am I the one spitting?

the Pilgrims had shellfish.


"our harvest being gotten in, our governor sent four men on fowling, that so we might after a special manner rejoice together, after we had gathered the fruits of our labors; they four in one day killed as much fowl, as with a little help beside, served the Company almost a week, at which time amongst other Recreations, we exercised our Arms, many of the Indians coming amongst us, and amongst the rest their greatest king Massasoit, with some ninety men, whom for three days we entertained and feasted, and they went out and killed five Deer, which they brought to the Plantation and bestowed on our Governor, and upon the Captain and others. And although it be not always so plentiful, as it was at this time with us, yet by the goodness of God, we are so far from want, that we often wish you partakers of our plenty."

In Of Plymouth Plantation, William Bradford writes:

"They began now to gather in the small harvest they had, and to fit up their houses and dwellings against winter, being all well recovered in health and strength and had all things in good plenty. For as some were thus employed in affairs abroad, others were exercised in fishing, about cod and bass and other fish, of which they took good store, of which every family had their portion. All the summer there was no want; and now began to come in store of fowl, as winter approached, of which this place did abound when they came first (but afterward decreased by degrees). And besides waterfowl there was great store of wild turkeys, of which they took many, besides venison, etc. Besides, they had about a peck of meal a week to a person, or now since harvest, Indian corn to that proportion. Which made many afterwards write so largely of their plenty here to their friends in England, which were not feigned but true reports."
 
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I have always said this, so glad to see I am not alone. For a holiday focused solely on food, it serves up some below par offerings.

Turkey sucks, we all know it, that's why you can't order it at restaurants. Saying "It's a good lunch meat" is an insult turkey, it was demoted to lunch meat.

my brotha
 
.-.
Its not bad in combination with gravy and great sides. I actually enjoy the sides quite a bit , so i can't cosign calling thanksgiving overrated. It should also be noted how much healthier it is than other options
 
Whoever doesn't like turkey taste, hasn't tasted the appropriate cranberry sauce. I recommend canned jelly not berries. It hides the flavorless meat very well. If that doesn't work the stuffing with gravy will. Just combine with one of the two before putting it in mouth. My mother who is no longer living matched it with her homemade rolls, which tasted better than the turkey, but when combined made the turkey taste better.

Hell even posting I now can't wait for next month.
 
I love turkey.

I love turkey sandwiches. I love turkey at Thanksgiving covered in gravy. I love turkey burgers and turkey sausage.

Repent, OP, and perhaps you will be forgiven for loving BOXED MACARONI AND CHEESE MORE THAN TURKEY.


Ok. Im going to use you as the quote, but it is not solely directed at you, because I have now seen ground turkey mentioned multiple times in this thread.

I am truly curious here (Ive been playful and provocative in this thread, but allow me to put on a sincere hat for a second).

You people who are using ground turkey for whatever (chili, burgers, meatloaf, whatever)

you are doing it for the health benefits? Because turkey is supposed to be better for you than the red meat or port alternatives? (Im not saying it isnt healthier, it probably is) Thats it though, right? I will even grant that over time maybe your palate as grown accustomed to it.

Its a healthy substitute.

Lets pretend for minute the health issue did not exist that everything was on a level playing field.
Surely a well made pork sausage is better than a Turkey sausage all things being equal?
A burger ground of Brisket sirloin and chuck better than a Turkey burger?
Chili with a good beef...etc...etc....

Turkey is your compromise. At least thats the way I see it. And thats fine. You will all probably live longer than me. (but contrary to some of your wishes I will NOT die today :)
 
Ok. Im going to use you as the quote, but it is not solely directed at you, because I have now seen ground turkey mentioned multiple times in this thread.

I am truly curious here (Ive been playful and provocative in this thread, but allow me to put on a sincere hat for a second).

You people who are using ground turkey for whatever (chili, burgers, meatloaf, whatever)

you are doing it for the health benefits? Because turkey is supposed to be better for you than the red meat or port alternatives? (Im not saying it isnt healthier, it probably is) Thats it though, right? I will even grant that over time maybe your palate as grown accustomed to it.

Its a healthy substitute.

Lets pretend for minute the health issue did not exist that everything was on a level playing field.
Surely a well made pork sausage is better than a Turkey sausage all things being equal?
A burger ground of Brisket sirloin and chuck better than a Turkey burger?
Chili with a good beef...etc...etc....

Turkey is your compromise. At least thats the way I see it. And thats fine. You will all probably live longer than me. (but contrary to some of your wishes I will NOT die today :)
Not a fan of turkey breakfast meat. Turkey bacon always tastes like paper, unless I'm cooking it wrong. My wife cooks spaghetti, lasagna, etc. with ground turkey meat and I hate it.
 
Not a fan of turkey breakfast meat. Turkey bacon always tastes like paper, unless I'm cooking it wrong. My wife cooks spaghetti, lasagna, etc. with ground turkey meat and I hate it.

Yes.

When I get home and find out it's "make your own taco night"....first thing I do is check the fridge to see if it's ground turkey or beef.
 
Ok. Im going to use you as the quote, but it is not solely directed at you, because I have now seen ground turkey mentioned multiple times in this thread.

I am truly curious here (Ive been playful and provocative in this thread, but allow me to put on a sincere hat for a second).

You people who are using ground turkey for whatever (chili, burgers, meatloaf, whatever)

you are doing it for the health benefits? Because turkey is supposed to be better for you than the red meat or port alternatives? (Im not saying it isnt healthier, it probably is) Thats it though, right? I will even grant that over time maybe your palate as grown accustomed to it.

Its a healthy substitute.

Lets pretend for minute the health issue did not exist that everything was on a level playing field.
Surely a well made pork sausage is better than a Turkey sausage all things being equal?
A burger ground of Brisket sirloin and chuck better than a Turkey burger?
Chili with a good beef...etc...etc....

Turkey is your compromise. At least thats the way I see it. And thats fine. You will all probably live longer than me. (but contrary to some of your wishes I will NOT die today :)
I don't typically use ground turkey as a complete sub for ground beef or pork sausage, but if a recipe calls for two pounds of ground meat, it does not hurt the flavor at all to halve it with ground turkey or turkey sausage, respectively.

Not a fan of turkey breakfast meat. Turkey bacon always tastes like paper, unless I'm cooking it wrong. My wife cooks spaghetti, lasagna, etc. with ground turkey meat and I hate it.

Just after my wife and I moved into our current neighborhood, we were invited to a neighbor's house one summer night for drinks. Our host had the same opinion as you, he said he could always tell if turkey was subbed in where it didn't belong (according to him). Meanwhile, he had just polished off half of a 7-layer dip that was cut with ground turkey. Turkey sausage is decent, turkey bacon is only passable if used as bacon bits.
 
.-.
"Dissing the turkey". Say it ain't so. Smoked turkey. I smoked a turkey once and it was real good.
 
You people who are using ground turkey for whatever (chili, burgers, meatloaf, whatever)

you are doing it for the health benefits? Because turkey is supposed to be better for you than the red meat or port alternatives? (Im not saying it isnt healthier, it probably is) Thats it though, right? I will even grant that over time maybe your palate as grown accustomed to it.

Its a healthy substitute.

Lets pretend for minute the health issue did not exist that everything was on a level playing field.
Surely a well made pork sausage is better than a Turkey sausage all things being equal?
A burger ground of Brisket sirloin and chuck better than a Turkey burger?
Chili with a good beef...etc...etc....

Turkey is your compromise. At least thats the way I see it. And thats fine. You will all probably live longer than me. (but contrary to some of your wishes I will NOT die today :)

For us, I'm sure it was introduced in the first instance based on health benefits, but I definitely prefer it to ground beef for the burgers, meatloaf and chili we make at home. Aside from the chopped mushrooms I don't know what else my wife puts in the mix, but it's a preference not a compromise for me in those instances.

I generally don't order it out, or even premade to cook at home. It has to be whatever ground turkey meat she buys, and however she mixes it. But her turkey burgers, turkey meatloaf and turkey chili rock. I grill the burgers, but otherwise I don't have anything to do with the preparation.

I still love a good, basic beef and bean chili the best otherwise. And pork sausage, of course.
 
Ok. Im going to use you as the quote, but it is not solely directed at you, because I have now seen ground turkey mentioned multiple times in this thread.

I am truly curious here (Ive been playful and provocative in this thread, but allow me to put on a sincere hat for a second).

You people who are using ground turkey for whatever (chili, burgers, meatloaf, whatever)

you are doing it for the health benefits? Because turkey is supposed to be better for you than the red meat or port alternatives? (Im not saying it isnt healthier, it probably is) Thats it though, right? I will even grant that over time maybe your palate as grown accustomed to it.

Its a healthy substitute.

Lets pretend for minute the health issue did not exist that everything was on a level playing field.
Surely a well made pork sausage is better than a Turkey sausage all things being equal?
A burger ground of Brisket sirloin and chuck better than a Turkey burger?
Chili with a good beef...etc...etc....

Turkey is your compromise. At least thats the way I see it. And thats fine. You will all probably live longer than me. (but contrary to some of your wishes I will NOT die today :)

Yes, turkey is a compromise. Of course a beef burger tastes much better but it's sooooo much worse for you. When I go out, I'll have a real burger. At home, I'll enjoy a turkey burger and sweet potato fries, and honestly, if I toast my bun and put on the toppings I like with onions, lettuce, tomato, etc. it's probably 80% as good to me, and that's close enough for the health benefits.

In reality, very lean beef is actually not too bad for you, either, but very lean beef is quite expensive comparatively.

For certain things, like turkey sausage or turkey chili, I honestly can't really tell the difference and enjoy it just as much.
 
Turkey as a substitute... No thanks.

August- do you ever enjoy a roast chicken, or no?
 
Turkey as a substitute... No thanks.

August- do you ever enjoy a roast chicken, or no?

a bit more than Turkey, but it is never a go to order for me, no.
 
I really don't think a turkey cooked the right way - whether roasted, smoked, fried, whatever - sucks at all. It definitely doesn't top my Thanksgiving food power rankings, but the rest of the meal just wouldn't be complete without it. It goes perfectly with the mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, cranberry sauce, stuffing, whatever else you have. If I were to eliminate turkey from my Thanksgiving altogether, what's next? It'd be only a few short years before total anarchy ensues. Sometimes, you don't mess with tradition.
 
.-.
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