OT: how to not blow my life savings on my wedding | Page 5 | The Boneyard

OT: how to not blow my life savings on my wedding

SubbaBub

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My buddy just spent all of $50 on his wedding band. If you aren't going to skimp on hers (you shouldn't)... who cares if the one on your finger is gold or platinum or whatever.

I went just the opposite. I never wore rings before and if I was gonna start then it would be something I thought was cool as F, so I designed it myself and went to three jewelers before I found someone who could make it.

Then I lost it in the ocean three days later, but the insurancestors paid for a newer better executed one.

Lesson here: insure you expensive wedding/engagement rings BEFORE you get married.

Side story: Wife insisted I have a temp, so I bought an iridescent metal for $3.11 at the cash register of an island convienence store. When we got back home, friends and co-workers couldn't stop about how cool my purple-ish metal wedding band was. Lesson here: cool don't need to be expensive.
 

SubbaBub

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I think it means that most women who say that they don't want a really nice ring don't really mean it.

It may serve to check out what her friends are rocking. If you don't think that enters the picture, well...
 

August_West

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No, a ring does not matter. It is just an object that Debeers, etc. have tons of locked away in some storage, gotten off of cheap African labor, sadly. They have tons of great catch phrases and ad campaigns to make people think they are great but technically the ring itself it not worth much as supply far outpaces demand even if debeers tries to artificially decrease supply by pretending they do not have a lot. They have warehouses of these things.

My wife meant what she said. She did not want something expensive, she thinks it is super silly to spend so much money, especially on something that could be lost or worse, stolen, as in Bogota people tend to target anyone with any kind of sign of wealth, like a big ¨rock¨.

the vacation? that matters a hell of a lot more. We took a quick one right after the wedding to Medellin. We took a real honey moon a few months later and actually, we will take another honey moon (honeymoon 2.0, don´t care!!) in June. Travel is more important than any kind of ring for both of us.

Yeah I'm sure if you exceeded her expectations on it she would've returned it.
 
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Yeah I'm sure if you exceeded her expectations on it she would've returned it.
She did not have expectations. She just said several times ¨Babe, just spend a little bit.¨ Like 200,000 pesos was kind of an unspoken or briefly mentioned limit, which is like maybe 65 bucks, so I stuck around there. There is no need to exceed expectations because I, you know, listen. So that scenario is impossible.
 

UC313

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Spend good money on your photographer. Youll have the pictures forever (or as long as you are married).

We had ours at the Society Room in Hartford. Top notch staff. Top notch food. Worth every red penny her father paid ;). Did the reception there with a JOP (Mary Coburn, amazing human). You go upstairs for cocktail hour then come back downstairs for the reception. Couple of hotels in wlaking distance and plenty of places for the after party. Pictures can be taken in the old state house (if its open?) for a small permit fee and an insurance certificate.
 

Husky25

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Spend good money on your photographer. Youll have the pictures forever (or as long as you are married).

That is the one place that we held back on a little, but wish we didn't. The lowest bidder obviously isn't always the best option, but we got the pix and sent them to my sister-in-law, who created a wedding album. She also did our save-the-dates cards and invitations; all three as our wedding gift.

Another way we saved our own money was instead of our guests giving us cash gifts for the wedding or creating a bridal shower registry, we found a service (relatively new in 2009) where guest could pay for (all or portions of) a honeymoon event (Dinner, lunch, attraction entry, etc.). They seemed to have fun with that.
 

Samoo

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Free wine and beer, cash bar. Crafty friend for the flowers, baker friend for the cake, seamstress friend for the custom designed dress, DJ friend for music. We found a lodge (tamarack?) in voluntown with cabins that I doubt is there anymore. The 60 hardest drinkers spent the night. About 100 guests, $6,000 in 1993 dollars.
 
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Spend good money on your photographer. Youll have the pictures forever (or as long as you are married).

We had ours at the Society Room in Hartford. Top notch staff. Top notch food. Worth every red penny her father paid ;). Did the reception there with a JOP (Mary Coburn, amazing human). You go upstairs for cocktail hour then come back downstairs for the reception. Couple of hotels in wlaking distance and plenty of places for the after party. Pictures can be taken in the old state house (if its open?) for a small permit fee and an insurance certificate.
YES! Photography is the one thing we did spend money on and we lucked out because one of my wives best friend has a cousin who does great photography so we saved money any way. That and the honeymoon.
 
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Do a destination wedding with immediate family and a couple close friends willing to travel on their own dime. People won't be offended they weren't invited and you basically pay for a nice little vacation. Friend of mine did that in South America and it was a blast.
Genius
 
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That is the one place that we held back on a little, but wish we didn't. The lowest bidder obviously isn't always the best option, but we got the pix and sent them to my sister-in-law, who created a wedding album. She also did our save-the-dates cards and invitations; all three as our wedding gift.

Another way we saved our own money was instead of our guests giving us cash gifts for the wedding or creating a bridal shower registry, we found a service (relatively new in 2009) where guest could pay for (all or portions of) a honeymoon event (Dinner, lunch, attraction entry, etc.). They seemed to have fun with that.
Genius move
 
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The destination wedding excludes family and friends who don't have the means and burdens others who "have" to go. This happened to us with a nieces wedding. The all inclusive Dominican place was crappy so a vacation it wasn't.
 

Hans Sprungfeld

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Duh. It's turkey.

I would leave a wedding reception where turkey was served.
Clearly, I put my "just needs more ketchup" comment in the wrong post.

Some final words to the OP:

In the book "The Millionaire Next Door," a "supportive spouse" was regarded as one of the key factors toward creating a million dollar plus net worth (beyond personal real estate) in one's own lifetime, from (functionally) one's own efforts. The three top characteristics of a supportive spouse were "traditional values," "down-to-earth," and "my emotional backbone." Irrespective of the financial angle, this is a pretty solid list.
 

8893

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The three top characteristics of a supportive spouse were "traditional values," "down-to-earth," and "my emotional backbone." Irrespective of the financial angle, this is a pretty solid list.
So my high school friend who listed "knows how to take a hit" among his top characteristics in a wife was wrong?

Go figure.
 

Hans Sprungfeld

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So my high school friend who listed "knows how to take a hit" among his top characteristics in a wife was wrong? .

Unless he was arguing it as a traditional value, which I surely hope not.
 
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I'm marrying the youngest of 3 daughters. The wedding fund is pretty dried up at this point. However, the completely remodel the first floor of the house, build a new 3 season porch, and level the backyard fund is going strong :rolleyes:.

We're getting married at the Society Room in Hartford. Beautiful and fairly cheap venue, we're looking at about 28k. Two older sisters, one did destination and the other did backyard BBQ. Her parents aren't hurting for dough at all but we're getting the same/ less money for the wedding than they did. Le sigh.
My sister-in-law got married there, nice enough place, food was decent too. Make sure you get some tacky photos done in the vault with their tommy gun and Bonnie and Clyde props, lol.
 

ctchamps

We are UConn!! 4>1 But 5>>>>1 is even better!
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Won't help the OP but interesting. Wedding cost upwards of $250,000 dollars.

Wedding North Shore Long Island circa 1980. Reception started Saturday 4:00 PM and ended Sunday 4:00 AM.

A 7 piece band played in corner of a room that had a bar 75 feet long stocked with liquor that would make a liquor store envious. The bar was free. Behind the bar was a salt water fish tank. 550 guests were in attendance. At least 50 waiters circulated the room with food that would make any Arby's lover envious such as jumbo shrimp, lobster tail, lamb chops, ribs and at least 2o other choices . Three types of caviar were placed on side tables throughout the hall as well as incredibly decorated displays of fruits, meats, cheeses, crackers and ice carvings.

Two hours into the reception, the music stops, one of the walls slides apart revealing an even bigger banquet hall with tables set up. The set up includes a water glass, two wine glasses (one each for red and white wine) and a champagne glass. Every glass is filled. The cutlery is gold plated and the china is the real expensive kind you can see through. Every setting had a rose in a small glass container and the centerpieces at each table were equivalent to what would be at the head table of most weddings.

The moment guests sat down attendees, two for every table, came around and placed cloth napkins on the guests laps. Every time a guest left the table they come back to new cloth napkin that was folded to look like a swan. Any glass that became empty was immediately filled by these attendees with the appropriate drink.

If you preferred something other than wine and champagne there was a mini bar for every two tables attended by a bar person. If you couldn't find what you were looking for at these mini bars three of the room's corners had bars with a much larger selection. This was for those people who didn't want to go back to the first hall's bar because they were too tired or soused to walk the 30 to 250 feet necessary to get there.

The fourth corner had a fourteen piece mini orchestra that played the moment people entered the hall. They played dance music. Every 40 minutes they took a break and guests that struggled to hear one another because of their music could engage in conversation while listening to background music played by the 7 piece group from the first hall.

The attendees came around and asked everyone what they wanted for their entrees. The choices were filet mignon, prime rib or fillet of sole. Whether you finished the meal or not the attendees came around and asked if you wanted another helping of the meal you ordered or preferred one of the other choices. You were also allowed to pick from a wide selection of side dishes to go with the main dish. The entree followed several other courses, with sorbets in between, but I was too full from the hors d'oeuvres to remember them. I thought it was a buffet wedding and didn't pace myself. But I managed to put down one rib and some sole as well as a bite or two of my wife's filet.

After the main meal, carts were rolled to each table with a variety of fancy deserts. A cart was placed for each table with another attendant. This was in addition to the wedding cake that was served. Before divided the cake easily had to be .75 Hilton Units tall.

The wedding ring for the bride was a diamond that was 5.25 carrots. Don't know much about the dress but it was a designer gown from NYC. The ring was estimated by some guests to have cost as much as the wedding. The estimates people gave for the wedding were between $125 to 500/guest. I have no clue. I was just bowled over. That put the cost of the wedding somewhere between $70,ooo and $275,000. I imagine the cost today would be at least 4 times those numbers.

This was my cousin's daughter's (my second cousin) wedding. He made his money as an efficiency analyst and this wedding was probably a drop in the bucket for him. Sadly the marriage did not survive a year and my "poor" cousin ended up struggling with anorexia. She was drop dead model gorgeous before this affliction. Money can't buy us everything and certainly this should put to rest the theory regarding rings.

Different wedding: Wedding costs $2250.

Three years earlier my wife and I got married. The wedding cost $2250. Her parents were poor and although we didn't want any money from them her dad insisted on paying $250 for our 5 piece band.

We had our wedding at Eisenhower Park, north shore Long Island from 4pm to 8pm Sunday. They catered the entire affair and the price was incredibly reasonable. The price of $1500 included, hors d'oeuvres, entrees (guests were given an invitation with a choice of chicken (not turkey), fish(not sole) or steak(not filet mignon), the set up for the wedding ceremony, reception tent, flowers and wedding cake. It was a cash bar but we offered free wine and beer. We also payed for the invitations, photographer, wedding dress ($150) and the Justice of the Peace. We had 119 guests.

There were three negatives with our wedding. The first was it was supposed to be a garden wedding but the rain ruined that. The indoors chapel was nice but no where's near as beautiful as those gardens. The second was the Justice of the Peace. We met with her a couple of months earlier and she offered to do the ceremony for $75. We arranged to meet one hour before the ceremony to rehearse. She showed up five minutes before we were supposed to start and wanted to renegotiate the price. I have to say I was a bit woozy regarding everything before this happened. Nothing like an adrenaline rush to get someone grounded. With some persuasion (I'm sure my skull came through my skin and flames shot from the eye sockets) the original negotiated price was maintained. The third was neither my wife nor I managed to eat anything that evening. People were really having a terrific time and we just never had time to eat.

The wedding dress was used several times. First for the ceremony. The other times were when my wife played the character Amy in the play "Company". It was a beautiful gown and I loved that she was able to wear it ten years later for that play. During that play she was pregnant with our son.

My wife and I were together four years before we got married. We got an apartment in New Britain but that wasn't easy. The woman who owned the building was reticent to rent to an unmarried couple. But 44 years later I'm writing this so in spite of "sinning", in spite of us coming from different faiths,in spite of the proposal being a disaster, in spite of the relatively low cost of the wedding. Our marriage has lasted a long time and I can say we still love one another.

The proposal and wedding rings: we went together in search of her engagement ring and our wedding bands. I wanted to get her a bigger diamond. She only wanted a quarter carat. I managed to convince her to get a third carat while we were looking together. On a different day I went back to the jewelers and bought an engagement ring with a diamond that was .57 carats. I had it set in this exquisite band I saw her eyeing when we were at the store but she didn't dare consider. The ring cost a little more than half the wedding but I felt it was worth it.

I'm excited that I'm still going to be able to surprise her. I set up a reservation at a restaurant we both loved but didn't tell her where we were going. She was tired but happy to not have to prepare a meal. However she was so tired she gave me a hard time about going. She drove me so crazy that I ended up telling her my surprise and throwing the box with the ring at her in the car that just so happened to be parked in front of the apartments dumpster. I left her crying in the car. Now if any of you want to ensure a long marriage, this is how you go about doing things.
 

Dream Jobbed 2.0

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My sister-in-law got married there, nice enough place, food was decent too. Make sure you get some tacky photos done in the vault with their tommy gun and Bonnie and Clyde props, lol.
Oh the vault was a big selling point.
 

Dream Jobbed 2.0

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That is the one place that we held back on a little, but wish we didn't. The lowest bidder obviously isn't always the best option, but we got the pix and sent them to my sister-in-law, who created a wedding album. She also did our save-the-dates cards and invitations; all three as our wedding gift.

Another way we saved our own money was instead of our guests giving us cash gifts for the wedding or creating a bridal shower registry, we found a service (relatively new in 2009) where guest could pay for (all or portions of) a honeymoon event (Dinner, lunch, attraction entry, etc.). They seemed to have fun with that.
Honey fund is the way to go! My fiancé and I already have a house with everything we need. Honefund for the win.
 
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Honey fund is the way to go! My fiancé and I already have a house with everything we need. Honefund for the win.

My fiance and I went with Thankful for the registry. Allows you to link items all across the web, so no need to register with 1 place, so you can get exactly brand you want for each type of item. Can also add cash things like experiences, honeymoon stuff, etc people can pay with credit card through Paypal. Nice looking site and interface, too.
 

Husky25

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Honey fund is the way to go! My fiancé and I already have a house with everything we need. Honefund for the win.
I don't remember what the site was. There are a number of them now. Not so many in 2009. Regardless, it worked out pretty good.
 

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