Dogs are great.
They shed all over the house. They drool on stuff. They poop in the yard when you're lucky and in the house when you're not. Either way, you'll eventually step in it. They throw up on the furniture, carpets, wood floors, ceramic floors and even people if they get the chance. The larger ones occasionally drag dead animals back to the house. And they just love you unconditionally until you accidentally touch their favorite toy and then they bite your head. And then you get to pour thousands of dollars into them because we've bred creatures that can catch badgers, foxes, birds, deer or whatever, but forgot to breed in the ability to live more than ten years without every single bodily function failing. They start out peeing all over the house and end peeing all over the house.
We have a fish.
His name is Rocky. He cost $2.49 and has been with us for three years. He has consumed $2 worth of food in that time and has never chewed the couch, peed the floor or tried to eat the baby.
He's better than your dogs.