This one made me laugh too:
Exclusive interview with Dan Hurley
www.thompsonia.com
So great to meet you coach, what did you order?
DH: Wild turkey on the rocks.
Oh, fun. Great win over DePaul tonight.
DH: What the
** did you just say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Stillman School of Business at Seton Hall University, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Tulsa University, and I have over 300 unconfirmed wins. I am trained in Technical Foul warfare and I'm the top receiver of techs in the entirety of NCAA men’s basketball. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this conference, mark my fuc** words. You think you can get away with saying that s* to me over the table? Think again, . As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the New England area and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fuc dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can beat your favorite team in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my lower classmen. Not only am I extensively trained in wearing joggers on tarmacs, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the James Breeding pet peeves manual and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a off the face of the continent, you little s*
. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fuc* tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you ****** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fuc**** dead, kiddo.
It was at this point in the interview that the bartender handed Coach Hurley his drink, in which point Hurley reached over the bar and choked out the bartender with his bare hands in a mere 8.6 seconds.
“Steve” The Bartender
4/5/86-1/31/23
...