Boneyard Off Season Dad Jokes | Page 2 | The Boneyard

Boneyard Off Season Dad Jokes

Dogdeacon said:
He's Dove, and Dove's Dad joke is pretending to be confused as to why the Dad jokes don't each have a Dad as the subject of the joke (i.e. A dad & a mushroom walk into a bar, the mushroom is refused service, the dad says to the bartender; "C'mon he's a fun guy")
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My dad left us when I was 2. :(
 
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Overheard this one on the ski lift last season:

A programmer gets a text from his wife on his way to the store:

"Please pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

He came home with 12 loaves of bread and no eggs.
 
8893 said:
Overheard this one on the ski lift last season:

A programmer gets a text from his wife on his way to the store:

"Please pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

He came home with 12 loaves of bread and no eggs.
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A programmer got a call from his wife and she said, "While you're out, buy some milk."

That was 5 years ago -- he still hasn't come home.
 
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Can someone help an aging Dad on the programmer milk joke and the above on Fortnite (esp the latter, i really want to torture my sons with this but not getting could get in the way ;)
RoderickSpode said:
A programmer got a call from his wife and she said, "While you're out, buy some milk."

That was 5 years ago -- he still hasn't come home.
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Can someone come to my desk and explain this to me while I make small talk and pretend to understand what he is saying & fixing?
 
Dogdeacon said:
Can someone help an aging Dad on the programmer milk joke and the above on Fortnite (esp the latter, i really want to torture my sons with this but not getting could get in the way ;)
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A fortnight = 14 nights, or two weeks.
 
Why do elephants paint their toenails pink?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No?

See, it works.
 
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Dogdeacon said:
A programmer got a call from his wife and she said, "While you're out, buy some milk."

That was 5 years ago -- he still hasn't come home.
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During the execution of a 'while' loop, you perform the action as long as the condition is true, so as long as the programmer is out, he is going to keep buying milk. She would need to say "While you are out and you haven't bought milk yet, buy some milk" to break the loop.
 
JCSuperstar said:
During the execution of a 'while' loop, you perform the action as long as the condition is true, so as long as the programmer is out, he is going to keep buying milk. She would need to say "While you are out and you haven't bought milk yet, buy some milk" to break the loop.
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Ok thanks and I'm acquitting myself for not understanding that one.
Seems that for any non-programmer to get that the punch line might need to be either:
A. He is still buying milk or
B. Currently he's got 2,000 gallons and he's still at Cumby's waiting for the next truck

In conclusion, the only jokes worse than Dad jokes are Dad programmer jokes, luckily natural selection has limited the numbers on the latter.
 
Dogdeacon said:
Ok thanks and I'm acquitting myself for not understanding that one.
Seems that for any non-programmer to get that the punch line might need to be either:
A. He is still buying milk or
B. Currently he's got 2,000 gallons and he's still at Cumby's waiting for the next truck

In conclusion, the only jokes worse than Dad jokes are Dad programmer jokes, luckily natural selection has limited the numbers on the latter.
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Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
 
A couple is walking through the mall and a woman says, "Hello sir, would you care to respond to a survey?"
"Sure"
"OK, you have two choices. A, spend the next 5 years with your wife..."
"B!"
 
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