Boneyard Off Season Dad Jokes

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CL82

October 1, 2021
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
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Wife (on way to first camping trip): I'm a little worried about being attacked by bear!
Husband (sighing): I'm sure we'll fine.
Wife: How can you be so sure?
Husband: At the last intersection we passed a sign that said "Bear Left'
 

Dove

Roll Blob
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
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He's Dove, and Dove's Dad joke is pretending to be confused as to why the Dad jokes don't each have a Dad as the subject of the joke (i.e. A dad & a mushroom walk into a bar, the mushroom is refused service, the dad says to the bartender; "C'mon he's a fun guy")
My dad left us when I was 2. :(
 

8893

Curiouser
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
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Overheard this one on the ski lift last season:

A programmer gets a text from his wife on his way to the store:

"Please pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

He came home with 12 loaves of bread and no eggs.
 

RoderickSpode

7th Earl of Sidcup
Joined
Sep 3, 2011
Messages
626
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1,436
Overheard this one on the ski lift last season:

A programmer gets a text from his wife on his way to the store:

"Please pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

He came home with 12 loaves of bread and no eggs.
A programmer got a call from his wife and she said, "While you're out, buy some milk."

That was 5 years ago -- he still hasn't come home.
 

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