You have a lot to unpack in your post. Let me just respond to one point. The state of NY has tested a higher percentage of residents than any other state in the country. The latest fatality rate is 6.3% according to Johns Hopkins tracking website, among the highest in the nation. If as you indicate, the more tests that are done, the lower the fatality rate, why is N.Y. so much higher?
As for social distancing working, all you have to do is go to the supermarket or walk in the park to see people, many with masks on, take a wide berth around you to understand that just about everyone gets the message. No college kids are going to beaches in FL & CA anymore. Highways are empty during rush hour. I watched a video taken in Times Square a few days ago during midday and the streets were incredibly empty. I lived in NYC for 8 years when I was younger, and Times Square was always busy, even at midnight in wintertime.