OT: Worst Pizza



Fishy

Puncher of Throats
Joined
Aug 24, 2011
Messages
15,295
Likes
49,898
It’s actually really hard to make a bad pizza.

You almost have to work at it - you can make completely normal, acceptable pizza with like no effort, so it’s almost inexplicable how a bad pizza comes into existence.

That said, there is an independent chains of pizza places around here and somehow, they make bad pizza. It looks fine, but they have managed to get the taste completely out of it. It tastes like the box it comes in.

The best worst pizza was Little Caesars.

When I was at UConn, there was a blizzard that shut Storrs down for two days over a break. There was only one place open for those two days and that was Little Caesar’s and there was only one car that could get there - my piece of crap Dodge Aries K with those 155 tires.
 

Hans Sprungfeld

Undecided
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
5,439
Likes
7,623
This place near our house. My kids won't even eat it. I know the owner but I just don't have the heart to tell him how awful his pizza is. I got a salad with grilled chicken there recently and he asked me why he never sees me in there. I just couldn't tell him the real reason.

This is great. Hide the truth from the owner AND name the name.
Plus that logo!
(A sigh of relief that it's not in CT.)

I don't know why I thought this thread held no promise.
 

Hans Sprungfeld

Undecided
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
5,439
Likes
7,623
Spare Time (still Vernon Lanes at this time) in Vernon used to do All U Can Bowl and All U Can Eat Pizza for like 10 dollars from 8-Midnight on Thursdays. The pizza was so bad but I’d eat like 10 slices in my youth.
Thanks for the reminder that last January, on a bowling & pizza Groupon, Uncle Buck's FishBowl & Grill at the Bass Pro Shop in Bridgeport set a standard that I hope to never test or meet.
 
Joined
Jan 20, 2015
Messages
92
Likes
277
I seem to remember a place called Pizza Stop back in the 80's when I was on campus that was pretty awful. Or am I making that up in my own foggy mind?
 

cohenzone

Old Member
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
13,079
Likes
13,750
During college I worked at a resort in Moodus. One night, around 9, several of us had to have pizza. So we piled into a car tried some local places, closed. Now near 10, we went to Middletown and found a place open and hopefully closed for good soon after. I don’t remember the name, but I swear they used American cheese and Hunts tomato sauce. Awful and it made Little Caesar’s seem Pepes.
 
Joined
Aug 27, 2011
Messages
2,317
Likes
2,666
I have to agree. I'd had the frozen version many times and it was okay. I was pretty excited to finally try the real thing at the restaurant but it tasted exactly the same. They had good fried pickles though.
I actually like Mystic Pizza. I had it for the first time last summer when I went to the original location.
 

Dream Jobbed 2.0

“Most definitely”
Joined
May 3, 2016
Messages
10,651
Likes
17,657
It’s actually really hard to make a bad pizza.

You almost have to work at it - you can make completely normal, acceptable pizza with like no effort, so it’s almost inexplicable how a bad pizza comes into existence.

That said, there is an independent chains of pizza places around here and somehow, they make bad pizza. It looks fine, but they have managed to get the taste completely out of it. It tastes like the box it comes in.

The best worst pizza was Little Caesars.

When I was at UConn, there was a blizzard that shut Storrs down for two days over a break. There was only one place open for those two days and that was Little Caesar’s and there was only one car that could get there - my piece of crap Dodge Aries K with those 155 tires.
You can get a good bad slice at Cumbys. One right near work and it’s easy I eat it too often.
 
Joined
Aug 17, 2011
Messages
5,922
Likes
10,740
This is great. Hide the truth from the owner AND name the name.
Plus that logo!
(A sigh of relief that it's not in CT.)

I don't know why I thought this thread held no promise.
Well if someone wants to go there and tell him the pizza sucks I'm all for it. Maybe it would get better. It just can't be me.

The place is in an old fire house, so hence the logo. I think one of the local kids made it.
 

Huskyforlife

Akokbouk
Joined
Feb 19, 2013
Messages
7,170
Likes
9,405
Picking chains is a cop out, but I haven't had a non chain pizza that I didn't like. Anyone got one?
 

storrsroars

Exiled in Pittsburgh
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
10,983
Likes
13,372
It’s actually really hard to make a bad pizza.

You almost have to work at it - you can make completely normal, acceptable pizza with like no effort, so it’s almost inexplicable how a bad pizza comes into existence.
Agree. Posters here are unlikely to ever have had a pizza that you actually had to get out of your mouth because it was so abhorrent.

Lord knows I've eaten plenty of crap pizza in my life. Kids today don't know the depths of how low pizza can go because even sports stadium pizza is edible (not good, but edible in a pinch), and places like drive-in movies no longer exist. For years my benchmark was the pizza squares at the old StarLite Drive Inn in Stamford. If you microwaved frozen Ellio's or even Totino's, you'd have a better product. Somehow, that drive-in pizza crust was actually damp, like a used dish sponge, while also being rubbery and tasteless like bad injera. The crust was so uniquely bad that you never got around to complaining about the sauce or cheese.

But the drive-in and Shea Stadium aren't actual pizza places, so let's give them a pass. There are two actual pizza places that truly offended my senses.

Back in 1981, my first wife, a Lafayette grad, took me to the annual Lafayette-Lehigh game. After the game she took me to a popular pizza spot. If you've ever worked in a Cumby as a teen and had to mop the floors behind the milk case, that odor of puddled old milk and mop water is a smell you'd immediately recognize. And the cheese on this pizza had that smell. Given there are stinky French cheeses that actually taste pretty good, I tried to put the odor out my thoughts and tried a slice. I gagged. I not only couldn't eat it, I didn't want to be at the same table as that thing. On the ride home, I asked my wife, who grew up in Mt. Vernon, NY, what the hell happened to her during her time in Easton, PA that corrupted her sense of taste.

Fast forward about a quarter century and I'm now living in Pittsburgh. I was not happy with the pizza situation here and was looking for something decent. At that time, the "best" pizza I'd had here would be perhaps a 5 or 6 out of 10 in lower CT. Reading reviews on "best pizza" threads turned up numerous mentions of a thin crust place one town over from my coffeehouse. One night I decide I'll get a pie there to bring home. I'm hungry, so I open the box and grab a slice. One bite was all I needed to know this pizza was not making it home with me. It had what was nominally a cracker crust, but one that wasn't crunchy, as much as it had edges that could cut your gums while remarkably at the same time, being as difficult to bite through as a beef tendon. Imagine if you baked the round cardboard from under a frozen pizza till it was charred, then you tried to rip off a piece with your teeth. That was both the texture and pretty much the flavor of this abomination. On top of that, it wasn't even worth picking off the rubbery pepperoni.

I immediately called another pizza place that was on my route home to place an order. To this day, this is the only time I ever threw an entire pizza into a municipal garbage can.

While I was living in Mexico City, my Mexican co-workers had a thing for Domino's Hawaiian pizza. I hate the entire concept of Hawaiian pizza, and certainly Domino's could not be the sine qua non of that particular obsccenity. However, I'd eat that before either of the two mentioned above.

You guys and gals just don't know from bad pizza.
 
Last edited:
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
2,286
Likes
3,326
Basic pizza is just bread, sauce and cheese. There can't be that much range the best to worst.
 
Joined
Nov 18, 2012
Messages
2,387
Likes
2,871
QUOTE="TheDoggPound, post: 3438408, member: 4363"]
Dominoes. Close thread.
[/QUOTE]

I consider myself a pizza snob and I've had much worse than dominoes. In a pinch I'll eat dominoes and that has happened more than a few times since I work all over the country.

I actually have to give them credit for changing their recipe a few years ago in effort to get better. With that being said anyone in Connecticut who orders dominoes is certifiably insane
 
Joined
Nov 18, 2012
Messages
2,387
Likes
2,871
During college I worked at a resort in Moodus. One night, around 9, several of us had to have pizza. So we piled into a car tried some local places, closed. Now near 10, we went to Middletown and found a place open and hopefully closed for good soon after. I don’t remember the name, but I swear they used American cheese and Hunts tomato sauce. Awful and it made Little Caesar’s seem Pepes.
Reminds me of a pizza I tried somewhere near newburgh ny. Completely inedible I took one bite and ended up getting McDonald's after leaving
 

ColchVEGAS

Still buckin like five, deuce, four, trey.
Joined
Apr 13, 2018
Messages
125
Likes
159
I had some pretty bad pizza when I lived in South Florida. I remember one being named Dolphin Pizza or something like that. Really unexplainable how bad it was. Like somebody else said, you have to put effort in to making it that bad. Another was owned by some Haitians and boy was the pizza bad, but they were a front and their other product must have been great because they were always packed.
 

Husky25

Dink & Dunk beat the Greatest Show on Turf.
Joined
Sep 10, 2012
Messages
14,529
Likes
10,911
I had Domino's last night for the first time in decades. Not years. Decades.

Emergency food need in Fairfield. I am waaayyy to old to have done that. It was the only post midnight option. Circumstances were admittedly dubious. Pizza was god awful. Never again. I am shamed.
 

Husky25

Dink & Dunk beat the Greatest Show on Turf.
Joined
Sep 10, 2012
Messages
14,529
Likes
10,911
I'm sure I had bad Pizza as an eight year old, but one never can can truly distinguish when their favored flavor profile consists of hot dogs, fish sticks, and chicken fingers.

Be that as it may, the worst pizza was at my 4 year old's birthday party about a month and a half ago at the bounce place in Rocky Hill.

We got home to East Hampton and immediatley ordered a late lunch (pizza) for us and my parents from Rossini's...there were leftovers from the party.
 

HuskyHawk

Hoping to see something that looks like basketball
Joined
Sep 12, 2011
Messages
15,213
Likes
17,683
The worst is Rhode Island Pizza. It’s nit even close. Cold, no cheese, bread is thick. An abomination. New England Greek “house of” pizza isn’t bad, but it’s actually worse than some chain pizza.

Lived lots of places. Looking at the major chains
Imos - quite tasty
Papa Ginos - really pretty good. The rustic is solid.
Pizza Hut - pretty good if you order the right crust
California Pizza Kitchen - fine for what it is
UNO - the thin crust is horrible. Chicago style ok.
Little Caesar’s - a cut above dominoes, at least in the 90s
Papa Johns - bland
Dominoes - need to order wisely and it can be ok or awful
Godfathers - crust is like cardboard. But they had an all you can eat lunch.
 
Joined
Aug 26, 2011
Messages
2,485
Likes
2,443
The place on the back of the alumni quad cafeteria - name completely escapes me. Inedible, and started with a frozen (1st strike), dimpled (2nd) crust.
 

Top