I like Rutgers, thought they and BC and West Virginia were our best football rivals, and looked forward to building more of a regional rivalry as our football program advanced. I hope that is still possible with our eventual entry into the B1G. I expect Rutgers football to do well in the B1G, maybe surpassing Penn State and becoming the eastern counterpart of Nebraska and Wisconsin, and I hope they do because the more the B1G gets traction in the northeast, the more they'll see the merits of entering New England and getting another school with NYC pull. If entering the virgin 9 million person NJ market pays off big, further growth in the 35 mn person NY-NE market is even more likely to pay off. Why should they let BC / the ACC have the only New England college program, and BC/Cuse/the ACC the only NY/NE programs? When UConn would beat BC+Cuse combined easily in market share?
Rutgers has made tremendous progress in recent years with the B1G invitation, investments in facilities, and progress on the field. UConn has also made progress, but not enough.
Ultimately, the reason Rutgers is in the B1G is that they are the flagship university of the state that is #11 in population, and their campus is the only high-level athletics program physically located in the NYC DMA. UConn is out because we are flagship of the #29 state and the campus is somewhat remote from the population centers of Connecticut and NYC. A secondary reason is that UConn has invested in basketball while Rutgers has invested in football. A third is that New Jersey invested in building up Rutgers' research programs, while Connecticut was content to let Yale and other private schools build the state's research capabilities; so Rutgers is AAU but UConn is not.
In short, the premise of the original post is wrong. We don't hate Rutgers. We are respectful (and a bit jealous) of your success and want to share in it. With repeated rejection, I have come to hate the ACC. I would love nothing more than to join Rutgers in the B1G and drive the ACC to minor conference status in the northeast.