Tipping and Restaurant Etiquette Thread

[storrsroars]

20% for normal service, 30-35% for good service. If I can afford to go out I can afford to help the overworked server making slave wages. After years in the service industry and managing in the service industry, I have no tolerance for my friends who tip poorly.

You don't like the current tipping model in the US? Don't participate in it. Order in or cook your own food. You don't get to participate in a system and screw someone out of hard earned money because you disagree with how it works.

I've also been in the foodservice industry for a number of years. My cafe was well regarded for my staff's attention to detail and service.

Unlike you, I don't reward indifferent service (which I'm going to guess falls into your "normal") with 20%. I'm astute enough to know when things are the chef's fault, the expo's fault and the server's fault. I've tipped above 20% on overall poor dining experiences where I know the server is doing a Sisyphus-level effort trying to stay afloat when the kitchen is in the weeds. And a whole lot more when the service is memorably exceptional.

I loathe diners who don't tip well because the food isn't to their liking (unless the waitstaff got the order wrong), or portions are too small to their liking or anything else that isn't under the server's control. That's just wrong, IMO.

OTOH, I don't give a crap about some waitperson having a bad day. Get over it. Your #1 job is customer service. If you can't do that, do something else with your life. If someone in my cafe came to work in a bad mood that they wouldn't let go, they got sent home until they got over it.

 

[temery]

I've also been in the foodservice industry for a number of years. My cafe was well regarded for my staff's attention to detail and service.

Unlike you, I don't reward indifferent service (which I'm going to guess falls into your "normal") with 20%. I'm astute enough to know when things are the chef's fault, the expo's fault and the server's fault. I've tipped above 20% on overall poor dining experiences where I know the server is doing a Sisyphus-level effort trying to stay afloat when the kitchen is in the weeds. And a whole lot more when the service is memorably exceptional.

I loathe diners who don't tip well because the food isn't to their liking (unless the waitstaff got the order wrong), or portions are too small to their liking or anything else that isn't under the server's control. That's just wrong, IMO.

OTOH, I don't give a crap about some waitperson having a bad day. Get over it. Your #1 job is customer service. If you can't do that, do something else with your life. If someone in my cafe came to work in a bad mood that they wouldn't let go, they got sent home until they got over it.

I tip well because I know they make squat. But on paper, the employer should be paying their best wait staff better, and replacing the ones who don't get the job done.

 

[storrsroars]

I tip well because I know they make squat. But on paper, the employer should be paying their best wait staff better, and replacing the ones who don't get the job done.

It's an unfortunately reality that among restaurants that pay $2.83 or whatever the current rate is in your state, that good performance is rarely rewarded with salary or bonuses, but instead busier shifts.

The other unfortunate reality among chain restaurants is that GMs are paid like entry level college grads and have little say in the customer service culture developed by their corporate overlords. They're paid to manage shifts, reduce product waste/theft, and meet whatever goals are on their spreadsheet. When I think of the typical chain resto GM, I think of Chotchkie's from Office Space.

I'm headed to France/Belgium in a couple of weeks. Haven't been to Europe in a decade. It'll be interesting to note how/if the tipping culture has changed there, based on other comments.

 

[AZHuskiePop]

I not sure if it’s prevalent in Ct but we have some places in AZ where you order and pay and it suggests a tip up front.
The food may be delivered to your table or your name is called to get it at a pickup area.
I’m clueless what to tip if anything in those situations.
Also when you order food for pickup what if anything do you tip.
If there is a jar I always put something in it.

 

[ctchamps]

Several years ago I went out to dinner with my neighbors Mork and Mindy. When the tab was brought to the table Mork grabbed it and said he was paying because it was my birthday.

A few months later we go out again, eat, tab comes and I declare it's my birthday. Mork gives me a look and Mindy states "You just celebrated your birthday." To which I replied "I went to a new church this morning and have become 'born again'." To which Mork laughed and said "Brilliant! No way you're paying for dinner my man."

A couple of months later we go out, eat, tab comes and I declare it's my birthday. Mindy could no longer control herself and angrily states that I just did this crap. I sheepishly say "I had a crisis of faith and left the church. The crisis has passed and coincidentally I rejoined it this morning."

Mork grabs the bill over Mindy's protestation. Angrily Mindy says "Don't you dare pay. That cheap old bastard has never taken anyone out and paid the tab for their birthday!" To which I replied "Not true. I've gone out with George and Gracie on their birthday and offered to pay."

I think I pushed things a little too far. She stood up and said "George and Gracie are Jehovah Witnesses! They don't celebrate birthdays!"

She stormed out of the restaurant with people staring at her as she proclaimed she and Mork were never going to associate with me again.

I like to think I had nothing to do with their divorce. After all I was just about to tell her Mork and I went out to lunch several times where I picked up the tab and when he protested I suggested he should pay on my birthday.

 

[August_West]

@tdrink bought me lunch on Friday.

Thanks tdrink

 

[Hoophound]

I tip very well but I’ll admit, I’m not really sure what to tip the Uber eats guys or the pizza guy. I generally give them $4-$5.

However, if I ordered 10 pizzas for a party, I don’t think I’d tip more than $10-12. What should I tip on that? Giving $20 or more to walk to my front door with 10 pizza boxes seems excessive. The only difference between that and one pizza is about 5lbs.

 

[Zanzman]

@tdrink bought me lunch on Friday.

Thanks tdrink

Who tipped and what percentage and was the tip before or after tax

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

In order to maintain connection within busy lives that stopped overlapping as much as they used to, my sister and I decided a few years ago to get together monthly for lunch.

On our first outing, she suggested we split the bill. I rejected the suggestion out of hand. She thought I was going to suggest that we each pay for our own food, and wasn't happy about this. I corrected her and said that we would alternate paying the entire check, and that the person paying each month would select the restaurant.

My explanation was that each month one of us would get the joy of being taken out to lunch, and the other person would get the joy of taking someone out to lunch at a place that was either a favorite or a discovery. And the two joyous roles would be swapped the following month. The system works very well all the way around.

 

[krinklecut]

I tip very well but I’ll admit, I’m not really sure what to tip the Uber eats guys or the pizza guy. I generally give them $4-$5.

However, if I ordered 10 pizzas for a party, I don’t think I’d tip more than $10-12. What should I tip on that? Giving $20 or more to walk to my front door with 10 pizza boxes seems excessive. The only difference between that and one pizza is about 5lbs.

This. I feel I have a firm grasp on restaurant tipping, but have no idea what to tip the delivery guys. Usually do $4-5 as well, so this makes me feel better.

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

A bar makes & sells pretty good little pizzas. You can get one to go. You call up and order sausage & mootz. It's $8.24, with tax. You go Pick it up. It's boxed. You hand them a debit card. They run it. You sign. You take your pizza and eat it in the car. It's late. You're tired. You're hungry. You didn't add a tip. You were in & out in 3 minutes, tops.

1) How much do you tip for a takeout pizza in a transaction like that?

2) What do you do when you are balancing your checkbook a few days later and see a $13.24 charge?

3) Let's say you give a call and say that the amount was $5 more than you signed for, and the bar manager calls back a day later and says that there's a ticket that night for an $8.24 pizza with a $5 tip, and says that all their bartenders are honest. How do you respond?

4) If the bar manager calls back again and leaves a voice mail that they can't just credit back the account, but that you can return to the bar (next town over) and get a $5 cash return or run through the debit for a $5 credit, which she says will cone out from the bartender's tips, what do you do?

5) Do you go back there? If so, what do you tip for a simple boxed 12" pizza?

 

[superjohn]

A bar makes & sells pretty good little pizzas. You can get one to go. You call up and order sausage & mootz. It's $8.24, with tax. You go Pick it up. It's boxed. You hand them a debit card. They run it. You sign. You take your pizza and eat it in the car. It's late. You're tired. You're hungry. You didn't add a tip. You were in & out in 3 minutes, tops.

1) How much do you tip for a takeout pizza in a transaction like that?

2) What do you do when you are balancing your checkbook a few days later and see a $13.24 charge?

3) Let's say you give a call and say that the amount was $5 more than you signed for, and the bar manager calls back a day later and says that there's a ticket that night for an $8.24 pizza with a $5 tip, and says that all their bartenders are honest. How do you respond?

4) If the bar manager calls back again and leaves a voice mail that they can't just credit back the account, but that you can return to the bar (next town over) and get a $5 cash return or run through the debit for a $5 credit, which she says will cone out from the bartender's tips, what do you do?

5) Do you go back there? If so, what do you tip for a simple boxed 12" pizza?

Where does one go where a pizza costs $8.24? Who still balances a checkbook?

 

[Husky25]

A bar makes & sells pretty good little pizzas. You can get one to go. You call up and order sausage & mootz. It's $8.24, with tax. You go Pick it up. It's boxed. You hand them a debit card. They run it. You sign. You take your pizza and eat it in the car. It's late. You're tired. You're hungry. You didn't add a tip. You were in & out in 3 minutes, tops.

1) How much do you tip for a takeout pizza in a transaction like that?

2) What do you do when you are balancing your checkbook a few days later and see a $13.24 charge?

3) Let's say you give a call and say that the amount was $5 more than you signed for, and the bar manager calls back a day later and says that there's a ticket that night for an $8.24 pizza with a $5 tip, and says that all their bartenders are honest. How do you respond?

4) If the bar manager calls back again and leaves a voice mail that they can't just credit back the account, but that you can return to the bar (next town over) and get a $5 cash return or run through the debit for a $5 credit, which she says will cone out from the bartender's tips, what do you do?

5) Do you go back there? If so, what do you tip for a simple boxed 12" pizza?

Don't pay with a debit card. Always use credit.

 

[Zanzman]

Cash is king

 

[Zanzman]

Groundhog Day

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

Where does one go where a pizza costs $8.24? Who still balances a checkbook?

ReBAR in West Haven, and it's legit good.

I do. It's a thing.

Now, what do you tip for the pie I described,
I'm about to get similar at Next Door?

And what about the other question?

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

Groundhog Day

Senior moment, deleted, so now your post is the one that looks odd. Otherwise, yeah.

 

[Zanzman]

Fitting lol

 

[HuskyHawk]

Where does one go where a pizza costs $8.24? Who still balances a checkbook?

Poopsies in Pembroke Mass. Great bar pizza.

My wife balances ours. I haven't seen it in 18 years.

 

[HuskyHawk]

ReBAR in West Haven, and it's legit good.

I do. It's a thing.

Now, what do you tip for the pie I described,
I'm about to get similar at Next Door?

And what about the other question?

I don't tip on takeout or counter service. Exception might be college kids making ice cream cones.

 

[Hans Sprungfeld]

I don't tip on takeout or counter service. Exception might be college kids making ice cream cones.

Thanks.
I did not tip at Next Door. I ordered at the front bar, two rooms from the oven. I surmised that the bartender was also managing. When he told me to just wait for the pie to come out in the room where it was made even though it was closed to diners. When I said something about the pizza makers possibly not allowing that, he said that he was in charge and it would be OK. I got ZERO vibe that a tip for taking my order or handing me my box was expected.

Very good plain tomato pie. I only had a sports wallet loaded w/$10 bill, and some center console change, I was limited. Liked it a lot.

I tip bartenders always, and for ice cream cones more often than not, though pricing structures that bring a cone to $3.81 or such are annoying because they 'force' a high or low tip or asking for change for a dollar. I figure my response evens out over time, and friendliness helps.

 

[HuskyHawk]

Thanks.
I did not tip at Next Door. I ordered at the front bar, two rooms from the oven. I surmised that the bartender was also managing. When he told me to just wait for the pie to come out in the room where it was made even though it was closed to diners. When I said something about the pizza makers possibly not allowing that, he said that he was in charge and it would be OK. I got ZERO vibe that a tip for taking my order or handing me my box was expected.

Very good plain tomato pie. I only had a sports wallet loaded w/$10 bill, and some center console change, I was limited. Liked it a lot.

I tip bartenders always, and for ice cream cones more often than not, though pricing structures that bring a cone to $3.81 or such are annoying because they 'force' a high or low tip or asking for change for a dollar. I figure my response evens out over time, and friendliness helps.

Maybe it's because you ordered "at the bar"? I do tip bartenders of course. And tip them as waitstaff if I eat at the bar.

Ice cream servers help themselves when they post the colleges on the tip jar. I think that's effective in conveying who they are.

 

[Husky25]

A bar makes & sells pretty good little pizzas. You can get one to go. You call up and order sausage & mootz. It's $8.24, with tax. You go Pick it up. It's boxed. You hand them a debit card. They run it. You sign. You take your pizza and eat it in the car. It's late. You're tired. You're hungry. You didn't add a tip. You were in & out in 3 minutes, tops.

1) How much do you tip for a takeout pizza in a transaction like that?

2) What do you do when you are balancing your checkbook a few days later and see a $13.24 charge?

3) Let's say you give a call and say that the amount was $5 more than you signed for, and the bar manager calls back a day later and says that there's a ticket that night for an $8.24 pizza with a $5 tip, and says that all their bartenders are honest. How do you respond?

4) If the bar manager calls back again and leaves a voice mail that they can't just credit back the account, but that you can return to the bar (next town over) and get a $5 cash return or run through the debit for a $5 credit, which she says will cone out from the bartender's tips, what do you do?

5) Do you go back there? If so, what do you tip for a simple boxed 12" pizza?

Don't pay with a debit card. Always use credit.

Aside from the above advice, this is how I might react:
1) How much do you tip for a takeout pizza in a transaction like that?
Paying credit? Zero. The pizza costs what it cost. IMO, tips are for service. If I'm paying cash, I might round to the next dollar, but only so I don't have to carry the change.

2) What do you do when you are balancing your checkbook a few days later and see a $13.24 charge?
I don't balance my checkbook exactly, but I review my debit account transactions online. Typically they are direct deposit or ATM withdrawals. Anything out of the ordinary, is investigated. First with my bank, then what you did.

3) Let's say you give a call and say that the amount was $5 more than you signed for, and the bar manager calls back a day later and says that there's a ticket that night for an $8.24 pizza with a $5 tip, and says that all their bartenders are honest. How do you respond?
If it's not to inconvenient for me, I ask him if he wouldn't mind holding out the ticket so I can see it. After all, that is a 60% tip on take out.

4) If the bar manager calls back again and leaves a voice mail that they can't just credit back the account, but that you can return to the bar (next town over) and get a $5 cash return or run through the debit for a $5 credit, which she says will cone out from the bartender's tips, what do you do?
To me, this indicates the manager discovered that the bartender was less than squeaky clean and the manager is trying to guilt you into letting him keep $5 out of your pocket to which he was not originally entitled. In theory it should matter to you not one iota.

5) Do you go back there? If so, what do you tip for a simple boxed 12" pizza?
Yes, I go back. If you find that the bartender was guilty after reviewing the charge slip, you tell the manager it's a shame they chose to lose continued business over $5. Then I consider crucifying them on Yelp.

 

[HuskyHawk]

So, on a related topic. Uber and Lyft drivers. Tip? No Tip? Sometimes a tip? When I am paying for my own ride, I will tip when the car is clean and the drive was good or we had good conversation. But more often than not, I'm using these services on expense accounts, and typically don't tip because it hits my corporate card.

 

[8893]

Counter Service Tipping: Who Gives? (Published 2019)

Those customer-facing, touch-screen payment systems in restaurants are confounding customers in the U.S. and beyond.

www.nytimes.com