Yeah, that pretty much nails it.
There is less freedom than you think and anything that deviates from what is deemed acceptable is met with the same tolerance as a republican debating gay marriage at a folk music gathering in Northampton or Ithaca.
People will always try to marginalize people to get them to fit into some mold. And sometimes, for our own good, we need to change. Sometimes any change on our part could be detrimental, not only to ourselves but to all of society. Those are the extremes. Everything in between also is in play. We can be stubborn or rebellious to our detriment. And be wrong about the causes we are choosing for these behaviors. The problem is measurement. Who is right and who is wrong? The only individual who can answer that is one who can see all future possibilities with each and every event that is possible. Since that individual either doesn't exist or has chosen to remain above the fray, we in this world of drama, are left to argue it amongst ourselves.
Certainly what people say and do, whether outside of myself or directed at me, have impacts on me. And many times the impact is reflexive. But after I remove myself from the drama, I try to quiet my emotions and reflect on things. I usually have options on how to think, feel and respond. Sometimes the options are greater, sometimes less. But in the end the final choice is mine.
Since I can't change people, all I can do is change the way I allow people to impact me. It doesn't stop me from discussing things with others. I'm just realistic that the only significant changes any of us can make is if we choose to make them. No one can force us to do it. So I discuss things with people in the hope that the exchange will benefit as many parties as possible including myself. Furthermore, if there is something I say or do that can help someone, I take the approach it is up to those individuals whether they choose to take my advice or help. If they don't, I try not to be insulted. If I became insulted then it means I don't have that other person's interest in mind. Rather I'm insisting someone else change for my ego's satisfaction.
These forums display our personalities as much as our ideas. We can learn a lot of things about ourselves over and above the many intelligent things that we discuss about bb. You are a very sensitive individual. I like that quality about you because you see things others either are unable to see or choose to ignore. But that trait can be detrimental if you don't learn to get it under control. Sensitive people who are hurt by other's statements or actions, ultimately become cynical, or worse, tune out if they don't find a way to balance the sensitivity.
