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I also grew up in Fairfield County and was born in 1990.
When I was in high school, our girl's soccer team won the state title 3 straight years and the boy's team won the FCIAC once (I think) and placed a few players at the D1 level. I wouldn't say people cared about either team until they were playing for the FCIAC or CIAC title. People may have cared more about the girl's team because there were some smoking hot girls on it.
As for lacrosse, it was viewed as a combination of people who weren't good enough to make the baseball team and football players who just wanted something to do in the offseason. I can assure you no one cared about it.
What school was this?